Hey, Shane Battier, how did it feel to spend all of Game 7 of the Eastern Conference finals on the bench?
From USA Today:
"The good news is I was equipped, thanks for my arsenal of Bud Light," Battier said. "If there was man prepared to handle that, it was me. Obviously as a competitor, it was tough. I'm not going to lie. It was maybe the toughest thing I've gone through as a competitor. Super happy for my team and my teammates.
"In retrospect, it's OK today. Every now and then you've got to eat a turd sandwich. You eat a turd sandwich and that ribeye tastes really good next time. That's life. That's the way I look at it."
I guess this is a victory of sorts for anyone who has ever wanted to tell a Dook grad to go eat shit. That is to say, this is a victory for every single person in America. Now let's go laugh at Battier being LeBron's towel boy one more time.