WAGS is a television program on the E! Entertainment network about a bunch of hot Instagram enthusiasts and their relationships with middling professional athletes who mostly play for teams in Florida.
After a strong showing in the 2015, the ladies are back for a second season of obsessing over a ridiculous pecking order based on who is dating, engaged or married, while their boyfriends, fiancés and husbands hang on to their contracts for dear life.
E! bills the series as a look at the “exclusive celebrity lifestyle and unique point of view inside the world of sports.” I prefer to think of it as a scientific study of an unequal, but mutually beneficial relationship between hot women who like fame and nice things and grown men who would drop dead without constant ego-stroking.
Season 2 returns on June 26, and I’m feeling good about everyone’s conditioning and focus this year. Here is a look at their player bios that I received from E! and a few predictions about the upcoming season.
Sasha and Antonio Gates
Sasha Gates is the queen WAG of the group, married to 8-time Pro Bowl Tight End Antonio Gates.
Hey did you know San Diego has its own football team?!!! I live in Los Angeles and I forget that fact on a regular basis.
From what I can glean, Antonio is the best athlete on this show. That’s presented to mean that Sasha is a better than all the other woman and much more worthy of our respect. She reminds me of a B-grade Evelyn Lozada which is honestly not a terrible position to be in.
Season 2 Prediction: Both Antonio and Sasha will remain symmetrical and completely disinterested in this show beyond its usefulness as a second stream of income.
Autumn and Seyi Ajirotutu
Autumn Ajirotutu met Seyi Ajirotutu of the Philadelphia Eagles in college, and the two are now married with twin girls.
Last year, Autumn and Seyi spent a lot of time worrying about him losing his job because it doesn’t seem like he’s super great at football. Apparently this season, Autumn’s storyline revolves Seyi maybe cheating on her because really, that’s where 60 percent of the drama on this show comes from.
These two are a good-looking couple but really difficult to care about.
Season 2 Prediction: Honestly who cares?
Barbie Blank and Sheldon Souray
Barbie Blank rose to fame as WWE Diva “Kelly Kelly” and is married to former NHL player Sheldon Souray, most recently of the Anaheim Ducks.
Barbie pulled in high numbers last years for being an athlete of sorts herself and actually getting this dude to put a ring on it. Sheldon’s average dropped significantly when he retired at the exact moment he was fired from the team.
This season will follow more of Barbie’s wedding planning, meaning she’s finally making the jump to becoming the wife of a former NHL player. Jealous?
I once saw them at LAX and Barbie was wearing false eyelashes for a redeye flight and if that isn’t clutch, I don’t know what is.
Season 2 Prediction: Sheldon will spend a lot of time worrying about finances now that he doesn’t work on the ice field anymore. Barbie will not care.
Nicole Williams and Larry English
Nicole Williams is a successful model who has been dating Larry English of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers for five years now.
Nicole spent much of last season worrying that Larry was cheating on her, which is completely fair because he does not seem to give a fuck about shit.
Nicole is beautiful and nice but she is constantly begging this man to marry her. That’s not how I’d want my love story to begin, but no NFL player has ever expressed in any interest in marrying me so what do I know?
This might explain why Larry looks so sad all the time:
Season 2 Prediction: Larry will propose but never set a wedding date. Nicole will start a new career as a Kylie Jenner impersonator.
Natalie Halcro and Shaun Phillips
Natalie Halcro and Olivia Pierson are cousins and best friends who gained recognition for their huge Instagram following and who launched a beauty and fashion blog together. Natalie is in an on-again, off-again relationship with Shaun Phillips who has played for the Denver Broncos, Tennessee Titans and Indianapolis Colts, while Olivia is dating Jacksonville Jaguars’ tight end Marcedes Lewis.
We finished Season 1 with Shaun buying a house that Natalie didn’t really want to live in—at least not with him.
I learned that Shaun was released from the Indiana Colts earlier this year, which means I don’t know how he and Natalie are legally allowed to be on this show anymore.
This photo of the two of them is from over a year ago so I’m also guessing that this relationship is no longer a thing, but we watched that dude buy a very expensive house last year and those property taxes ain’t no joke.
Season 2 Prediction: They both get kicked off the show for not being a professional athlete or a girlfriend.
Olivia Pierson and Marcedes Lewis
For most of season one, Olivia moped around complaining about not having a boyfriend while only considering professional athletes as potential mates. It seems that she’s found love this year in the form of Marcedes Lewis.
We watched them go out on a date in Season 1 where he took her bowling because television networks inexplicably continue to act like people actually go on dates at bowling alleys.
Props to Olivia for this pull because Marcedes just signed a $12 million contract with the Jacksonville Jaguars and seems way more legit than most of these dudes. Still, I couldn’t actually find any pictures of Olivia and Marcedes together and this storyline rings a tad too convenient.
Season 2 Prediction: This relationship is not real.
We’ve got some new blood on the team and while they both seem to just barely make the cut as WAGs, I am willing to overlook this because I bet they’re both going to go hard in the paint right out of the gate.
Tia Shipman is an elite Ford model with clients ranging from top department stores, makeup brands, as well as high fashion brands. Tia has also been successful in the entertainment industry, appearing in popular television series such as CBS’ “The Bold & Beautiful,” FOX’s “Grandfathered,” and ABC’s “Ugly Betty,” and featured in countless commercials. Tia has been linked to players from the Denver Nuggets and Indianapolis Colts
The fact that they don’t mention which athletes she’s dated makes me skeptical. But also means she’s going to try very hard to get one of these dudes to lock things down with her and I could use some pointers on pulling a professional athlete in case this writing thing doesn’t work out.
Season 2 Prediction: Tia has a history with one of the WAGs’ significant others, thereby securing her spot on Season Three.
Sophia Pierson is a beauty and style expert, as well as an actress, and is the sister of cast member Olivia Pierson and cousin to cast member Natalie Halcro. Sophia has been linked to a player from the Tampa Bay Lightning.
I have no real thoughts on Sophia other than that she clearly tries very hard and genuinely hope her efforts pay off. This is also low-key inspiring because apparently its not that difficult to date a professional athlete as long as he plays for a team in the state of Florida.
Image via E!.