Snip My Child's Foreskin, Please!

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So what did we learn today? Other than maybe learning that Mack Brown can win the big games, RichRod can't win the little games, and that taking the points against Utah is wallet suicide, I learned this...and I don't have any clue how to react: Friend of Deadspin and unabashed Tim Tebow superfan Dan Shanoff is probably in the hospital at this very moment with his wife, who is due to give birth to their second son. Shanoff, who is Jewish as far as I know, has already announced that the baby will not be named "Tebow" or "Tim," but the former writer has a unique wish to get the Heisman Trophy winner involved with his new son. Yes, Shanoff wants Tebow to clip his kid's dickfat.

I cannot possibly name my kid after Tim Tebow, can I? There's no question, as my Deadspin fans like to celebrate: He is my favorite athlete ever. He is a model person. It certainly wouldn't be a terrible choice, and it's actually a fine, normal name (unlike, say, naming your kid "Peyton," as so many in Tennessee did in the mid-1990s.) But, no, while I won't reveal the top contenders — though I have received some great suggestions over the past 36 hours, including more than a few guesses it would be "Tim" — I will reveal that "Timothy" did not make the final cut, either as a first name or a middle name. (No, "Tebow" did not make the cut for middle name, either. Though I appreciate you thinking it might... and though I'm not quite sure what that says.) I will, however, offer an open invitation to Tim Tebow to come up for the bris, 8 days after the birth date. (Oh, you know why I want him there: Sure, you could NAME your kid after Tim Tebow, but it's a much better story to have him join the mohel for the circumcision. Tebow might even learn some new tips. Zing!) Believe me: The Tebow/Shanoff-bris meme will be worked over on the blog between now and the bris itself. I cannot help it. As soon as I heard about Tebow's turn as the missionary mohel (after I knew my wife was pregnant), I knew I was on a collision course with this topic.

Who the fuck heard the story about Tebow circumcising third-world kids and thought to himself, "I WANT MY KID CIRCUMSIZED BY A HEISMAN TROPHY WINNER!" Dan Shanoff, that's who. Maybe Tebow could pose with Dan after the procedure, tucking the foreskin under his arm for a quick "Heisman" pose in scrubs. Somebody get Florida's SID on the phone. This absolutely has to happen. Yes, But Will Tebow Do The Circumcision? [] Oh yeah, here's the rest of Hugh: It's depressing watching Northwestern getting raped in a sea of white and green. —A prismism And here's Pam talking about how she's a good luck charm for Northwestern, and what she thinks about blogs talking about here:…—OfteHgheigh I am not sure Andre Ware understands the physics of the sun. He stated that the Illini player put his hand up to block out the sun even though his shadow is in front of him. —tsatsekveer i'm pumped full of hydrocodone from wisdom tooth surgery, so i didn't feel it when i spit out a stitch screaming for my Burnt Orange Brethren. Tomorrow's going to hurt like a was worth it. —DJ Mythic So which is the bigger weekend sports smackdown thus far: Toledo v. UMich, Texas v. Oklahoma, or Brett Myers v. the Los Angeles Dodgers? —Red Machine D