The internet is quick to pile on acts of stupidity. People doing dumb shit is like 75 percent of the content that goes viral. A lot of the time, the, I guess, “victims” don’t set out to break the internet. It’s just an ideal combination of circumstances and timing that align. Then there’s Colombian “influencer” Mike Jambs, who went to a tattoo parlor, asked the artist to ink “MESSI” on his forehead, filmed it, and paid for it.
Well, he’s still paying for it, as the internet collectively let him know just how idiotic the decision was. Now, after not heeding the advice of presumably his parents, Jambs said he’s rueing the permanent face art.
“I regret having done the tattoo because instead of bringing me positive things, it’s led to lots of negative things, both personally and for my family,” Jambs said in an Instagram post.
“I didn’t think I’d be saying this so soon and I felt very proud of what I’d done in the first few days, but I now wish I hadn’t done it.”
Before I continue, there are so many Councilman Jeremy Jamm jokes that I need to make, but since I’m not sure how many people get the reference, I’ll just say, “Mike, you got jammed… Self-jambed.” (For the purpose of that joke, I’m assuming the b in Jamb is silent.)
Also, saying you regret the tattoo because of the backlash, and not because you have another man’s last name in big, black letters across your forehead, is missing the point. All it would’ve taken is 20 to 30 seconds of reflection for Jambs to realize what he was about to do was monumentally dumb.
This is where things get dicey though. The kid is certainly getting bullied, and I’m sure more than a few commenters have crossed the line of good-natured fun into personal attacks. (If you’re going after the parents because they couldn’t stop their teenage son from doing something stupid, then you probably have no idea how hard it is to stop teenage boys from being idiots.)
Being mean to be mean and being mean to be funny are linked, but the reason it’s OK for friends to be mean to be funny is to let you know, in a light-hearted way, that you’re being a dumbass.
I know a guy who got an all-time bad tattoo while hammered in Las Vegas. I wasn’t there, but of course, I made/make fun of him for it. However, I was not the person who designed it, or let him go into the parlor, and enabled him to think what he was doing was cool or hilarious.
If we want to throw blame around, the guy filming Jamb is the true culprit, and all venom should be directed his way. … Nope, not even I believe that. Jambs, you got Jambsed so fucking hard. The guy has 147,000 followers on Instagram, and maybe his real-life friends told him he should do it. Yet when you’re beholden to the internet, and constantly seek its approval, you end up with egg on your face.
And I’m sure doctors can remove the proverbial eggs in this instance. If they can’t, I don’t know what to tell you, Jambs. Maybe next time you want to go viral after a big win, eat horse shit like that Eagles fan. Yeah, that moment will live on until the end of his life, but at least he could brush his teeth, floss, rinse, gargle, and repeat 3,000 times until the taste was out of his mouth. No amount of scrubbing is going to get “D1OS” or the stars off your cheek, or “MESSI” removed from your forehead, and that’s pretty goddamn funny.
Let’s end on a positive note, even if the first part of it sounds negative.
Here’s the biggest critique “they” are levying at Jambs, according to Jambs.
“They just say that I’m not a positive example for society.”
While that is objectively true, this incident could have a positive effect on young people because there are clear morals here. And those are: Never get a face tattoo, and being an influencer is fucking stupid.