Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Some Peon Tries To Hurt Neymar, Gets Humiliated By Neymar

About an hour into Paris Saint-Germain’s Coupe de France match against Strasbourg yesterday, Neymar was clowning on his inferiors with his imperial dribbling skills, as is his wont. Strasbourg midfielder Moataz Zemzemi must’ve taken Neymar’s casual demonstration of superiority personally, because he then lashed out in the same way so many cry-baby losers often do when Neymar and kicked the Brazilian in the legs a few times.


The referee finally awarded Neymar a foul after the third kick, but true retribution wouldn’t come until a few moments after that, when Neymar metaphorically dunked on Zemzemi’s hating-ass and hung on the rim, swinging up there with his legs splayed open, essentially wafting the pungent aroma of his crotch down upon Zemzemi’s humiliated face to add even more insult to insult:

An even whinier teammate of Zemzemi, defender Anthony Gonçalves, had this to say after the match when asked about the overly physical “defending” Neymar’s opponents often subject him to:

He is a great player. But if you play like that, then don’t complain if you take some knocks. We aren’t here so he has fun at our expense. If Neymar wants to have fun, we are responding with the weapons we have.

By using the “weapon” of kicking the shit out of Neymar without even trying to pretend to go after the ball in response to Neymar’s criminal offense of being a very good player—and remember, Neymar wasn’t taunting anyone when Zemzemi first started kicking him; he only uncorked the provocative rainbow flick after Zemzemi whacked him a few times—Zemzemi earned himself a simple foul. Meanwhile, Neymar was legitimately hurt in the clash. The PSG forward had to come out of the game just a few minutes after the incident with Zemzemi, and the injury looks serious. Immediately after the match, reports claimed Neymar had hurt the same bone in his right foot that sidelined him for three months at the end of last season, which might keep him out of the first of PSG’s Champions League round of 16 matches against Manchester United.

Thankfully, the latest news from Brazil is cautiously optimistic, saying the screw placed on Neymar’s foot during last year’s surgery has not been compromised. Hopefully Neymar will be back for the match against United in a few weeks, but he almost certainly will be healthy for PSG’s Ligue 1 match against Strasbourg in early April. Fingers crossed that he’ll get the chance then to humiliate Zemzemi and Gonçalves and the rest of them all over again.