Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

Your morning roundup for Sept. 14, the day we learned how to grow, um, tomatoes—yeah, tomatoes!—indoors. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors.


What we watched: Tim Wakefield, age 45, won his 200th game last night. And good for him. He's been with the Red Sox since 1995, helping them win two championships. But I'll always remember him for his 1992 season with the Pirates, the team's last winning season. He finished third in the balloting for NL rookie of the year and absolutely dominated the Braves in Game 3 and Game 6 of the NLCS by tossing complete games in both. He was 25, but he was viewed as a young sensation; a radio station had even produced a song about him—the chorus was simply, "Knuckleball Wakefield!"—and it was on all the time. And then it all ended. Wakefield pitched the following season in Pittsburgh and struggled. The Pirates stopped winning. But Wakefield, like all great knuckleballers before him, still hasn't stopped.


A Drew classic on childbirth? A Drew classic on childbirth: "Mrs. Drew is now four days past her due date. How's her mental state? Picture the guy from ‘Alien' who has the alien coming out of his chest, only he's been told in advance the alien was going to pop out, only then to find out the date set for it to happen was completely and utterly arbitrary. She is aggravated, to say the very least. Anyway, since my execution has been stayed yet another day, I thought I'd enlighten you on some facts about childbirth and pregnancy you may not have known about." [Good Men Project]


And it's at the Palestra? Yeah, this looks like it could be worth attending: "One thing Evans does know is that he will be participating in one of the most hyped exhibition contests this city has seen in a while when Team Melo and Team Philly square off in ‘The Battle of I-95' at the Palestra on Sunday, Sept. 25. Scheduled to play for Team Melo, headed by Carmelo Anthony, are LeBron James, Chris Paul and Kevin Durant, among others. Scheduled participants for the Philly team include Evans, Marcus and Markieff Morris, Hakim Warrick and Sixers guard Lou Williams." [Philadelphia Daily News]

Novak Djokovic, still a teenybopper: "Don't be ridiculous. Of course Novak Djokovic noticed Beyonce and Jay-Z sitting courtside. ‘I saw them!' Djokovic said, his tired face brightening. ‘They were just across the net.'" [Wall Street Journal]


Your Praying Mantis Attacking A Hummingbird Interlude:

Maybe that's what happened to my Porsche: "Tomáš Skuhravý starred for Sparta Prague, Genoa, and the Czechoslovakian National Team during a fifteen year career, and was the second leading scorer at the 1990 World Cup. Nowadays, Skuhravý lives in Italy where he owns a night club, works as a TV pundit, and is a key figure in a central European car theft ring. Allegedly. The ring, which is not alleged and definitely exists, steals BMWs, Audis, and Porsches in Germany and the Czech Republic, then modifies them to hide their origins. The cars are re-registered in the Czech Republic to wipe out any trace of their former ownership. This is not your run-of-the-mill car theft ring. At some point, the characters from Gone in 60 Seconds were probably involved." [KCKRS]


This is only going to get uglier: "Medical costs for San Francisco Giants fan Bryan Stow, who has been hospitalized since he was beaten at Dodger Stadium in March, are expected to exceed $50 million, his attorneys wrote in a court filing. The estimate came in a civil lawsuit filed by Stow's family against a number of Dodger entities and Frank McCourt." [Los Angeles Times]

Can't wait for the "Ineligibowl": "In all, seven players - three Hurricanes and four Buckeyes - will be suspended for the 7:30 p.m. nationally televised game. Three others from OSU (2-0) were reinstated Tuesday and are eligible to play against the Canes (0-1)." [Miami Herald]


Merch: Managing editor Tom Scocca and contributing editor Drew Magary have both written books. You can buy Scocca's Beijing Welcomes You: Unveiling the Capital City of the Future here, and Magary's The Postmortal here. Now do it.


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