SPECIAL REPORT FROM INSIDE BRISTOL HQ: LIVEBLOGGING THE ESPN STATE-OF-THE-UNION ADDRESS

In continuation of Deadspin's tradition of extremely close-up coverage of the elephant that is ESPN, we interrupt your regularly scheduled programming for a series of live transmissions from a reporter stationed at ankle level inside the Worldwide Leader's annual all-company meeting. That's Chris Berman kicking back in the green shirt.

Dispatch 1: "I've already been spotted."

Dispatch 2: second photo from inside the house: Rob King, telescreen showing slogan: "Internally ESPN has always thought of itself as..."

Photo of train moving uphill and then "The Little Engine That Could"

[Correction: Due to an error by the rewrite desk as it tried to identify people in our correspondent's blurry cameraphone shots, Rob King was incorrectly placed at the scene. King, on Twitter: "I just stumbled across an ingenious blog post that reported my presence at a meeting in Bristol, CT. Which surprised me, as I'm in VT." Deadspin regrets the error.]

Dispatch 3: "Brand guy is talking"

"In a world where flat is the new up..."

"Barry Byln?"

Dispatch 4, 2:08 p.m.: "I'm in the copy room right now I don't know what to do."

"This is like Luke in the Death Star."

Dispatch 5, 2:14 p.m.: "Cris Carter, Robert Smith, Matthew Berry, Stephen A. Smith"

Dispatch 6, 2:19 p.m.: "Steve Anderson? VP of something or other: "Credibility, objectivity, bla bla bla"

Dispatch 7, 2:21 p.m.: "Now talking about internal dating policy. Rebecca lobo just walked by me. Good time to leave, she said."

Dispatch 8, 2:22 p.m.: "I think it was lobo, at least, Just caught a glimpse."

Dispatch 9, 2:25 p.m.: "Oh Jesus"

Dispatch 10, 2:28 p.m.: "Norby. Just talked to him."

Dispatch 11, 2:45 p.m.: "Getting tossed. Norby, doria, mike soltys."

This concludes our liveblog of ESPN's annual all-staff meeting. Full recap to follow.