The Sports Emmys are lacking, so Deadspin is here to pick up the slack

A problem with the Sports Emmys is there simply aren’t enough categories for individuals. Most awards are for shows, segments, reports, documentaries, etc. Only a handful acknowledge the on-air personalities, so those who care about bringing home some hardware are in for an uphill battle.

My solution is to make up a new sports media award: The Spins. These categories have no rhyme or reason just like much of the sports media industry. Think of this more as an ESPY video recap; an acknowledgment of great moments of the past year.

The best announcers are supposed to be impartial. In humongous moments the call is supposed to meet the gravity of it, but also not sound like announcers are sitting with their friends in section 300.

When Argentina defeated France in the men’s World Cup, Cantor’s call after the winning penalty kick had all of the necessary energy, but none of the neutrality. His tears could be heard as he repeatedly screamed into the Telemundo microphones “Argentina es campeón del mundo!”

In case you didn’t see the parade in Buenos Aires, the moment was a pretty big deal for the country. Cantor’s call, which was soaked in bias for the country where he was born, did just as much to convey the importance of the victory as the pictures of all those people in the nation’s capital.

From the elation of a nation to single-play destruction. There are times during a sportscast when a single play is more exciting than any final result. In these moments, sports are not simply about victory or defeat. It’s about appreciating excellence in the art form.

That excellence just needs a single exclamation point from the announcers. Ian Eagle put a perfect one on Ja Morant’s hellacious dunk from the 2022 NBA Playoffs when Malik Beasley believed that was the best moment to attempt to take a charge.

Morant cocked the ball back to his heel and that is about as far as Eagle went down into his body to shout, “Ja-Breaker!”

As much as I enjoy Chris “Mad Dog” Russo bothering J.J. Redick, nothing will top Shannon Sharpe unloading on Skip Bayless.

Watching one coworker get that upset at someone can sometimes make an observer feel awkward. In this case however, the moment was highly compelling television. Sharpe was critical of Tom Brady’s play, and then Bayless fired back at Sharpe claiming Brady is a better player than him. At that moment Unc went from 0 to 125 real quick. Sharpe yelled out his accomplishments and accused Bayless of taking a personal shot.

I really don’t care who was right and who was wrong in this situation. I just enjoyed the moment.

As the Women’s College Basketball Tournament set viewership records for three weeks, ESPN’s in-studio crew absolutely met the moment. Monica McNutt (pictured)— who was shamefully overlooked by the real Sports Emmys for Outstanding On-Air Talent/Emerging Personality — Nikki Fargas, and Elle Duncan brought it in every way possible.

The analysis of the games was of course great, but much more than that is required to make a studio show pop. Kenny’s pictures are great but it’s the hi-jinks and chemistry that make Inside the NBA such a spectacular show.

McNutt, Fargas, and Duncan aren’t driving a bus through a cardboard cutout of Kevin Durant, but their program still brings the humor. Duncan is one of ESPN’s best hosts, capable of playing both Abbott and Costello. McNutt is high energy at all times, and Fargas rounds it out bringing her coach/executive vibes. With the women’s tourney growing in popularity, this is the right crew to narrate it.

Speaking of Inside the NBA, someone needs to tell these guys that they are all 50-plus years old. There are ways to get their physical gags in without risking injury, so stop running to that board.

Shaq just had hip surgery. I’m sure that it’s from years of banging in the paint, but Kenny Smith launching him into a Christmas Tree certainly didn’t help. Guys, we want this show to continue on for as long as possible. It won’t be as good if you all start ripping hamstrings and everybody needs new hips at the same time.

“Food is fuel and nothing more.” — Dan Orlovsky.

I know that I need to be more disciplined with my diet, but I have these things called taste buds. If they aren’t properly satiated at least once per day, my entire evening is lost. I won’t be able to think about anything but an unsatisfying day of eating.

Also, I’m not taking food advice from a 40-year-old who puts ice cubes in his red wine. Therefore, he can keep his unseasoned chicken to himself. Dan, a little paprika won’t hurt you.

Then when he does veer into junk food his takes are still trash. His favorite snack cake/treats are oatmeal cream pies and Nutty Bars. While Nutty Bars aren’t that good, what followed is truly atrocious. Orlvosky tweeted that none of the others are edible. No Swiss Roll, cupcake, or even a honey bun?

Boo this man!

Men’s College Basketball can be such a stuffy sport. Thank goodness that when Turner took over the tournament they brought along Charles Barkley, Kenny Smith, and Ernie Johnson. Before them, I had no idea Clark Kellogg could laugh so hard.

When Barkley told the story of cleaning his Philadelphia 76ers uniform in the shower by wearing it, Kellogg couldn’t keep himself together. The sound that came out of his body was the combination of a dry heave and air being lightly let out of a balloon. The replay value is tremendous.

Folks, it’s not just Black people who code-switch. In this country, there is a figurative meaning for bilingual.

The Pew Research Center released some data recently. A study was conducted on diversity in journalism. The results: Journalism is still an overwhelmingly white field. While athletes are quite diverse, 85 percent of the people covering that diverse group are white. What was even more startling was that only one percent of United States sports beat reporters are of Asian descent.

Of course that means no on-air personalities of Asian-American Pacific Islander descent received any Emmy nominations. In light of that, I would like to highlight some of the outstanding AAPI on-air talents.

As good as any NFL analyst currently working, and also one helluva etch-a-sketch artist.

A pioneer as the first Indian-American national sports anchor.

An outstanding film critic yes, but also one of the most entertaining and informative baseball personalities on the tube.

Shout out to all the AAPI sports media professionals out there. The reporters, the editors, the podcast hosts, and more. Hopefully that percentage can at least get to two next year.