Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
•A Connecticut HS football coach was suspended one game after admitting to finding an opponent's armband with their plays written on it, and using it to set his defensive formations. Because this doesn't qualify as a trick play, we're willing to give him a pass.
•A triple-double from LeBron, Wade scored 10 in overtime, and it wasn't enough to overcome the unstoppable force of nature that was Paul Millsap. Millsap scored 46, including a putback to send it to OT, and the Jazz hand the Heat their first home loss. Many new Miami fans were unaware that this was a possibility.
•More bad news for Cam Newton, if it's true. Actually, scratch that. If it's to be believed, it's good news for Cam Newton: he gots himself paid.
•Large man and professional bully Derek Boogaard scored his first NHL goal in 235 games. That dates back to January of 2006, way back when he never dreamed that someone would give him 4 years/$6.5 million without being about to skate, or shoot, or puckhandle, or do pretty much anything hockey-related.
•The NHL's trying out something awesome for the All-Star Game, in which the team captains take turns choosing their players, schoolyard style. And just like the schoolyard, the fat kids will be chosen last. Sorry, Brodeur.
[Thanks to Cameron and Andrew for the screengrab]
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