Did you ever have a reason for an impromptu joyous celebration and decide, in that moment, the thing you’re going to do with the people closest to you is… grab their thighs?
Well, if the answer is yes, you and Los Angeles Clippers CEO Steve Ballmer have some weird-ass shit in common, because he decided to do just that the other night.
Man, what the fuck? This shit looked painful. Has anyone in France ever reacted this way to a Nicolas Batum three-pointer? Or in Charlotte? Maybe Portland? Coming from the creator of positioning himself like an overly eager pornstar during a regular-season game of Clippers vs Nets, Ballmer just continues to one up himself. It’s like he was going for the Isaiah Canaan ball grab that Dwight Howard executive produced several years ago and missed.
But Ballmer is not the first fat cat to make us scratch our heads. Billionaires are some unintentionally hilarious and odd motherfuckers. They’ve done some weird shit over the years — so here’s a compilation. Don’t try these at home … seriously.