Rest in peace Tom Benson, the former CEO of the New Orleans Saints, who legitimately had a dance named the Benson Boogie, as covered on HBO in 1988.

“I jump up and down like you see fans do, and holla’ when they do something good and holla’ when they do something bad,” he said.

It’s a part shimmy, part white salsa, part not-Harlem Shake, part thing you can do if you’re a billionaire surrounded by cheerleaders. It was a mishmash of enjoyability seldom seen from the Saints until around this time in their history. The franchise began play in 1967 and didn’t make the playoffs until a 12-3 season in 1987. Benson had reason to do this in the 1990s, too, I guess, given that they made the playoffs again from 1990 to 1992, consecutively.

There’s something to be said about needing to ask for a high five, but if you’re next to Mark Wahlberg… why not, I guess? New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft wanted to celebrate a touchdown with Wahlberg, and as they elevated from their seats, Kraft looked at him and called for one. Much like his then-quarterback Tom Brady, he was ignored. So what does Kraft do? Tap Wahlberg on his shoulder … twice to get his attention.

He still didn’t get the high five. Not in 2011 either.

Chris Christie, the former governor of New Jersey, is a die-hard Cowboys fan and joined team CEO Jerrah Jones to take in a Wild Card Game during the 2015 NFL Playoffs. Dem Boyz forced a fumble late in the fourth quarter to seal the effort, winning against the Detroit Lions 24-20. Christie tried to hug Jones, but Jones just stared at him as if he were a random person invading their space. They eventually semi hugged, but it was awkward as hell. Probably more joyous than having your thighs squeezed in an unwanted manner, though.

Previous Brooklyn Nets Majority CEO Mikhail Prokhorov was as interesting as many of his players while heavily involved with the team. This isn’t quite a celebration but it’s arguably the most odd thing on here — although it is quite endearing to a degree. Prokhorov wanted to teach his Nets “mental toughness, dexterity, coordination, and power” as he put it.

And in watching it, it was actually pretty badass, though we’re not sure Brook Lopez, Jarrett Jack and the guys would agree. For the purpose of this exercise, we’ll call it a celebration of team camaraderie.

Those Nets went on to go 21-61 that season.

Just watch this and imagine what Ballmer would be like if the Clippers won a title. What would he say? What would he do? What would he touch? Lord knows. But after bringing on Kawhi Leonard and Paul George during the 2019 offseason, to say he was merely wildin’ out was a grand understatement. This guy was on one.

Ballmer highlights include:

1. “Pretty damn cool!” followed by claps and a “WOO” seconds into the video.
2. “Come on! … Come ON!” *clap clap clap* … “COME ONNNNN!!!” as Kawhi Leonard and Paul George whispered to each other smiling while watching their new CEO go crazy
3. The #LarryOB