Social media was abuzz this weekend with a video depicting a baby-faced Sunderland fan sitting alongside his fellow supporters at the Stadium of Light, taking in the day’s match while also appearing to take a pleasant shit right there on his seat. The kid, later revealed to be 17-year-old Callum Mawson, has since come forward, and explained that not all was what it seemed. Though it was mostly what it seemed.

Firstly, here’s the video of Mawson with his pants around his ankles, popping a squat in the middle of the stands:

Stadium stewards eventually rounded up Mawson and arrested him.

Because of some slightly erroneous reporting from someone purportedly on the scene, the original story was that the visibly inebriated Mawson “curled one out” (the “one” of course being a turd) on the seat before standing back up and later being escorted away by the stewards. This was only partially correct. Local paper North News caught up with Mawson and let him give his side of events, which did include lots of alcohol but not any actual pooping [note: you’ll have to open the video below in a new tab to watch the interview]:

Mawson, according to a Newcastle Chronicle report, claims that prior to heading over to the stadium, he drank “12 bottles of Bud and six pints of Strongbow Dark Fruit” while only eating a couple pieces of chocolate from an advent calendar. In that state of intoxication, all he remembers specifically from his time at the Stadium of Light was showing up, getting to his seat, and then some time later coming to in the stadium’s holding cell.

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“The only way this could’ve happened,” Mawson says in the above video, “was I must’ve just sat in me seat and just been in that bad of a way that maybe I just thought it was a toilet and then done that, I don’t know.” He did clarify, though, that he never loosed his bowels there, as both a nearby spectator and the police themselves confirmed.

Mawson comes across as earnestly apologetic for his behavior, and has already faced some fairly stern repercussions. Along with being arrested for “suspicion of being drunk in a sports ground,” the Englishman has been suspended from his job as a business admin apprentice and expects to eventually be fired. Understandably, having his not-terribly-uncommon teen hijinks play out in public like this has been a pretty shitty experience. Said Mawson:

“I don’t know what was going through my head when I did it, I really don’t. There’s been people messaging me giving me hate. I don’t want people to think I don’t care, I am ashamed of it.

“There is no excuse for what I have done, I regret my actions, but there is no need for such hurtful comments. I understand why it’s had so much attention but I don’t appreciate the lies.”

Sunderland lost the match in question to Reading by a score of 3-1.

[Newcastle Chronicle]