Super Bowl Sub-Plot #6: Larry Effin' Fitzgerald

There are several key storylines that will be beaten into the ground by everyone who covers the Super Bowl over the next week. We will beat them down even further.

Larry Darnell Fitzgerald Jr. may be the greatest football player—perhaps the greatest human—to ever wear cleats. If any one man can single-handedly take over this Sunday's Super Bowl, throw his entire team on his broad shoulders and carry them to the championship, it's this guy. Never before and never again have we seen his like.

Standing just a hair over 6'10" and weighing approximately 375 pounds (pure muscle, btw), his 87-inch vertical leap allows him to rise up and hover above the most tenacious defenders. His large, yet gentle hands—he has eight fingers on each one—allow him to seize the most errant and deadly passes out of thin air, cradling them softly as he returns to Earth. Women want him, men want to be him, opponents lay awake at night and fear him.

Jerry Rice, Michael Irvin, Art Monk, John Stallworth, Fred Biletnikoff? Chumps. None has the had the impact on the game of football that Larry Fitzgerald has had. Or will have. He hasn't done it yet, but that's what this Sunday is for. When Kurt Warner gives his Hall of Fame speech, the first person he thanks won't be God, it will be Larry. When Anquan Boldin signs his $237 million contract this offseason, that will be Larry Fitzgerald's money he's spending, because Larry agreed to sleep in a lean-to beside University of Phoenix Stadium and get paid in Arby's gift certificates so that his fellow wide receiver could remain a Cardinal. (Oh, and as of Sunday, cardinals in the Roman Catholic church will now be referred to as larrys.)

A man so humble he changed Tim Tebow's life, if you need any more evidence that Larry Fitzgerald is a special person ... Peter King wants to help him succeed. Larry doesn't even have to call him Mr. King.

He must get it from his dad.

Mr. January: Fitzgerald's star exploding on biggest stage [USA Today] Cards' Larry Fitzgerald caught on at young age [NY Daily News] Fitzgerald's hands elevate his status [Arizona Republic]