a Page 7248 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A Catalog Of The Latest In Telestrator Dong
Our sportscasters continue to adorn our televisions with glowing penises. We will continue to feature their artwork....

Warren Sapp Questioned Over Some Domestic Violence Something Or Other
Tough couple days for former members of The U and former Dancing With The Stars contestants. Oh, and NFL Network employees, actually. [TMZ]...

Dan Le Batard Exposes The "Sexy And Violent Truth" About The Super Bowl
In which the columnist attempts to board the Love Bus, mentions in passing that he went to Luther Campbell's wedding, watches as Bryant McKinnie drops 20 large on champagne, and generally makes you feel like you're watching a Fellini movie....

Stories That Don't Suck: Starstruck In N.O., Drunk In Indy, Badly Beaten In Yonkers, Gonzo At The Big Game
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....

The First Super Bowl XLIV Wardrobe Malfunction Belongs To...ESPN's Merril Hoge?
Yes. There he is in all this thong-wearing glory at one of those ubiquitous pseudo-celebrity beach football games you'll find throughout SB week. This one just happened to be televised and showed us that, disturbingly, Hoge digs kinky Under Armour®....

Presenting The Single Worst Piece Of Sports Journalism From Super Bowl XLIV
The headline on ESPN.com is "Papa John's founder John Schnatter feeds me pizza." Then things get really stupid....

Last Night's Winner: OchoCinco's South Beach Harem
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Chad OchoCinco, who's making Miami his own personal playground and Twittering his escapades....

Lindsey Vonn's Buttocks Are The First Winter Olympics Controversy
Yes. There they are. Her hunched over, haunches on display. But Tasty Bakes says that the only real problem with the Vonn SI cover photo is that it's been done before. [TheAwl]...

Thank The Lord This Crimson Tide Fan Left His Head-Gear At Home
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

More News From Lake Wobegon Mattoon
It's been an uneventful week in Mattoon, Ill., where the women are robust, the men are pink-cheeked, and the girls ride the mechanical bull while topless....

The One Where A Former NFL Assistant Coach Lets Us Know He's Not, In Fact, This Scantily Clad Woman
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

You're Making A Heckuva Pick, Brownie
Former FEMA head Michael Brown is picking the Colts to win the Super Bowl. That's really not like him, to abandon New Orleans like that. [Politico]...

Uproar Over 13-Year-Old Recruit Symbolizes The Grim Specter Of Death
It would be easy to say that the verbal commitment of a 13-year-old crystalizes everything that's wrong with college sports. But the real reason there's been so much handwringing is simple: it makes us realize we're old....

Tailpipe: Your Smutty NASCAR Romance Story Hour. A New Feature.
We recently discovered the incredible phenomenon of NASCAR-themed romance fiction, stories filled with passion and grease and beautiful people being driven swiftly to ecstasy and Victory Lane alike. What follows is a brief selection from one such tale....

Not-Completely-Sober Freddy Garcia Has Some (Profane) Words For The Cubs
We're not saying Freddy Garcia is drunk in this video, taken at the White Sox' annual SoxFest. We're just pointing out he's unsteady on his feet, slurring his words, and saying "fuck the Cubs, motherfucker."...

This February, Hines Ward Screws The Pooch
How is Hines Ward spending his Super Bowl week? As a celebrity judge for the Dog Bowl, picking which performed the best football-related trick. How is it so far, Hines? "Oh, man, it definitely stinks, to be honest." [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]...

Signing Day Was Best Ever, Says Every Coach Everywhere
Now that the first letters of intent have been signed and sealed, one indisputable fact emerges: every single school had its best recruiting class of all time. Let's look at the not-at-all hyperbolic statements from around the country....

There’s More Than One Way To Fill A Prophylactic! Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Trevor Winter: The Moonlight Graham Of Terrible NBA Players
Winter reminisces with Asylum about his five minutes in the NBA. "You have five fouls to give," Flip Saunders said before a game against Shaq, "and for every foul you don't use, we'll fine you $1,000." Mission accomplished. [Asylum]...

Philadelphia Wing Bowl 18: They Did It All For The Snooki
Brian P. Hickey woke up at 5 a.m. today to go watch the 18th annual Philadelphia azzzhole convention known as the "The Wing Bowl." He filed this report.(See Philly.com's full Wing Bowl Gallery here.)...