a Page 7276 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Indecisive Hurdler Discovers Breast Implants Don't Improve Leaping Ability
Australia's Jana Rawlinson was not happy with her body's natural curves, so like a lot of women, she decided to get breast implants. Then she remembered that she was an Olympic-caliber hurdler and silicon is heavier than air....

If Anyone Went To Chaminade Prep School With David Lee Of The New York Knicks...
Please contact me at [email protected]. A "project" is afoot. If the reporter who told me about this story at the bar One and One last week is reading this, please email me as well. Teamwork! [NBAbiopage]...

Arenas-Crittenton Standoff Just A Hilarious Inside Joke Gone Awry
Everyone is still trying to make sense of the Washington Bullets' (redux) guns-a-blazin' locker room showdown, but according to the latest version it simply resulted from a misinterpreted zinger about attempted murder. Some people have no sense of humor....

<em>Vanity Fair</em> Reveals Beefcake Tiger Woods Photos It Had Laying Around The Office
Photos by the esteemed Annie Leibovitz show Tiger's sexy side, one that only his wife and most of America's cocktail waitresses have been privy to so far. Additional scolding essay written starred commenter H.G. Bissinger. [HuffPo]...

Today In Euphemizing Johnny Weir's Gayness: <em>ESPN The Magazine</em>
An occasional series in which we document — and evaluate — the sports media's pained efforts to call the sexually undeclared figure skater gay without quite calling him gay....

Mark Sanchez: One Of The Poise, Again
"Mark Sanchez's teammates and coaches have noticed something different about him recently," Rich Cimini writes. "They've seen more poise than before..." It's back! [New York Daily News]...

Reruns Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the NFL teams who beat another team just to win the right to play that same team again. Why did they even bother?...

Brit Hume Will Be Reincarnated As A Prick
On Tiger: "He is said to be a Buddhist. I don't think that faith offers the kind of forgiveness and redemption that is offered by the Christian faith. So, my message to Tiger is, 'Tiger, turn to the Christian faith...'"...

Zorn Officially Out
Guess no one told the Redskins that they could sleep in today. Jim Zorn was escorted from the building at 4:45 a.m. this morning and Bruce Allen didn't even buy him breakfast. [ESPN]...

The Zorn Nonentity
As I write this, the Redskins are playing for pride and their jobs...and are struggling against Billy Volek and the Charger subs. It's time for Jim Zorn to pay the piper....

Old Man To Embarrass Himself For Your Amusement (And Money)
Forget Pacquiao/Mayweather; Evander Holyfield is set to fight again, against similarly washed-up Francois Botha. If this doesn't give the WBF belt legitimacy, nothing will. [AP]...

Masochist USC Punishes Self For Mayo Shenanigans
Ah, January, when the talk turns from NCAA football sanctions to NCAA basketball sanctions. First up: USC. It's as predictable as the changing of the seasons....

Texans Make Some Nosie
The Patriots deliver an epic F-U to the Steelers by choking their game away, but karma hits them back. A surprisingly compelling early slate, with some huge injuries and even a snow game....

Your Late Games Open Thread
Brandon Marshall was reportedly benched for missing a therapy session. (It was physical therapy for his ostensibly injured hamstring, but it's funnier if you leave that part out.) Let's watch the Chiefs and Raiders try to play spoiler. [ESPN]...

Pat White Carted Off After Helmet-To-Helmet Hit (Update)
For now, here's the highlight on NFL.com. But who's got that video? UPDATE: We do!...

Overgrown Monster Man And Peppy She-Child Make Beautiful Music
Wladimir Klitschko and Hayden Panettiere, besides exploding my spellchecker, have been photographed canoodling (this is a word that only applies to celebrity couples). Do with this news what you will. [Pacific Coast News]...

Introducing: The Curtis Painter Rule
The NFL is reportedly considering persuading playoff-bound teams to play their starters by rewarding them with additional draft picks. Sounds good in the wake of last week's Colts abortion, but let's back the fuck up for a second....

And Here Are The New Fake Nike LeBron Shoes
Yes, they're orange and blue. Yes, they have a version of the I ♥ NY logo on the soles. UPDATE: Flim-flammery!...

Rocket's Red Glare Too Much For Blue Jay
NBA players pull guns on each other in the locker room. MLB players shoot themselves in the face with fireworks. And we wonder why kids don't dream of being baseball players anymore....
