a Page 7295 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Chicago Has Pretty Much Completely Turned On Jay Cutler
It's bad; they've taken to calling him "Jay McNown." But the beleaguered QB finds an unlikely defender in the father of former Bears washout Rex Grossman. Dan Grossman's endorsement floated 50 yards and was intercepted by Brian Griese. [Chicago Tribune]...

Watch This, Then Go Check Your Water Supply For Drugs
No words...They should have sent a poet....

Los Angeles: Where Football Goes To Die
The UFL's Locomotives had planned to play a "home game" at the Home Depot Center Friday, but canceled it after concerns about ticket sales. Fitting, since good taste drove the Rams and Raiders out of town too. [LA Daily News]...

Wrestling Still Real On One Misguided Continent
It's laughable that some American newspapers put pro wrestling in the sports section, but it could be worse. It could be in the news section, as it is for one Aussie paper that doesn't seem to understand it's fake....

Whitlock: Mangino's Oozing Pumpkin The Root Of All His Coaching Woes
Jason Whitlock offers his funky-fresh perspective on the absurd Mark Mangino poking situation by positing that the beleaguered coach's problems could have all been avoided had he not weighed "450 to 500 pounds." Fat-on-fat crime ensues....

Erin Andrews' Accused Peeper Formally Charged, Feels Really Bad
Michael David Barrett has been charged with one count of interstate stalking. His lawyer responds: "Mr. Barrett would like to express his deep regret for the circumstances that have caused the issuance of the charges against him today." [TMZ]...

Oregon-Based Rappers Request Permission To Show You Their "O"
Not many hardcore rap songs begin with the phrase "holy moly" and then rhyme "Lego" and "Eggos," but then not that many people write raps songs about ducks. Spit that fire, gentlemen.......

Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Body-Painted Mary Magdalene Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....

Come On Down To Crazy Joe's Big Red Machines!
Always one to stay ahead of the curve, Joe Morgan has decided that now is the time to get into the booming business of auto sales. At Joe Morgan Honda, your starter's Won-Loss Percentage is your credit! [Cincinnati.com]...

Study: College Basketball Refs Suck, Too
A couple of professors watched a bunch of college basketball games and came to the very reasonable conclusion, in a peer-reviewed academic journal, that they were all being reffed by Dick Bavetta....

Elizabeth Lambert Comes Full Circle
New Mexico roughhouser Elizabeth Lambert has done it all—she beat up a chick on television, became a national pariah, then a cautionary tale, and now has a soft-focus mea culpa in The New York Times. Next stop: Hollywood!...

"Out Of Bounds" Enters The Fray
Former Deadspin editor Rick Chandler captains a new sports blogatorium for NBC Sports. Stop by often and show your support. [Out Of Bounds]...

2012: Why See The Movie If You Already Know What's Coming
Yes, everyone's favorite lizard conversationalist, Darren Daulton, has a website to promote his metaphysics "starter kit" so everyone can be prepared for falling buildings, tidal waves, and John Cusack's erratic piloting. [Dutch2012.com]...

Manchester United Player Mows Your Lawn. Literally.
Man U. winger Gabriel Obertan makes £20,000 a week even though he's out with an injury—so the team has him pruning bushes and washing cars to earn his keep. [TheSun, via Unprofessional Foul]...

Mark Mangino Has A Bit Of A Temper
Does this look like the face of someone who would berate and threaten his players? Or worse, a parking enforcer who was only doing his job when he gave the Kansas football coach two dozen parking tickets? You'd be surprised....

Last Night's Winner: Josh Pastner
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Memphis coach Josh Pastner, who didn't even win! Don't think that won't stop him from becoming college basketball's new golden boy....

Hey Dude In The Back...What Number Is Kansas Ranked?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

The Charlie Weis Death Watch Flies Under The Radar
Notre Dame is so desperate to pretend they haven't decided to fire Weis, they've blocked their private plane (also known as the SchmoozeJet) from being tracked on the Internet. Though odds are 2:1 it's been to Palo Alto....

Beat That, Dr. James Andrews
Arsenal striker Robin van Persie plans to treat his injured ankle by smothering it in placental fluid. Funny, because that description fairly well sums up Cristiano Ronaldo's fling with Paris Hilton. [Guardian]...

Ex-Patriots Rough Up Some Children For Charity
Cameramen aren't the only people who need to be wary around the Patriots. A lesson learned too late for some students who thought they were going to meet their heroes in the name of a good cause. Instead: carnage....