a Page 7299 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

He Got You, My Pretty
Former Wisconsin Badger Darin Schubring lost a bar fight was sucker-punched by a man wearing a Flying Monkey costume. That's slightly more embarrassing than being referred to, 25 years later, as "Baraboo local legend." But only slightly. [Baraboo News Republic]...

A-HOLE FAN DIGEST: The Muhammad Ali Autographing Incident
Earlier today, we published a story from an anonymous reader claiming that ASU baseball coach Pat Murphy accosted him at a charity event. Here's how the story ended up being complete bullshit....

Baseball's Free Agency System Is Seriously, Seriously Screwed Up
It's hot stove season, and the annual release of Elias' free agent rankings is upon us. It speaks to the volume of the CBA's absurdities that we rarely appreciate just how awful this system is....

Upon Further Review, Baseball Is Stupid
Baseball won't be expanding instant replay anytime soon, because baseball doesn't want its outcomes to be an accurate reflection of what transpires on the field so much as an expression of the yearnings in Tim McClelland's heart....

And Here's One Of The People Who Helped Establish Bill Simmons
Count Courtney Cummz as one of those of Us who've had their life altered by the plucky wit and sporty wisdom of Sports Fella through the years. Yes, Courtney works in the adult entertainment industry. How could you tell? (NSFW)...

More High School Sports Titles Decided By Technicalities
A Kansas gymnastics team was docked one point at the state championship meet—enough to drop them from first to third in the final standings—because their coach made an "illegal inquiry." She asked was the score was....

Breaking: World Frantically Googling The Sports Guy's Wife, Bruno Kirby
As Leitch noted earlier, the fascination with the Sports Fella extends, a little creepily, to his wife. And now look: She's the No. 11 Google hot trend, two notches below "sammy sosa bleached" and 19 sports ahead of "bruno kirby."...

You Better Learn To Recognize Michigan's AD, Honey
Since picking on Rich Rodriguez has become a little too easy lately, here's a new plotline for Michigan mockers to pursue....athletic director Bill Martin reduced to pulling the "Do you know who I am?" routine in his own stadium....

The Clemson Women's Rowing Team About To Become Famous For All The Wrong Reasons
And that's...start again. And there's...no. Sigh. These poor girls. Nice win at the Hooch, though! [ClemsonTigers.cstv]...

Michael Phelps Wears "Old-Style" Swimsuit And Facial Hair, Suddenly Sucks
"Sporting a beard and an old-style swimsuit, Michael Phelps missed out on two finals and barely qualified for a third Tuesday at a World Cup short-course meet." [AP]...

Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Refreshed And Resurrected Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....

If Dan Snyder Sees Bugs, You Better Well See Them Too
Time for your Deadspin Open Mailbag Tuesday. Email us here or submit your questions via Twitter. This week, we're covering fertility, Thanksgiving, Project Runway, NSFW warnings, and more....

A Few Million Pesos Later, Angel Villalona Is A Free Man, For Now
Angel Villalona, the Giants prospect accused of fatally shooting a man in his native Dominican Republic, is out on bail and out 2 million pesos, too, having reportedly paid the victim's family to drop charges against him. That's $55,000....

Bill Simmons, Establishment
For those of who have seen his popularity swell into the stratosphere the last few years, it wasn't a surprise to see Bill Simmons atop the bestseller list. But it should have been....

I Loved It. It Was Much Better Than "The Bengals"
Broadway is producing a play about the life of Vince Lombardi. Because the only thing liberal East Coast elitst theatergoers love more than football is people from Wisconsin. [WSOCTV]...

Marat Safin Says Agassi Is "Stupid", Should "Shut Up"
Tennis-playing dude Marat Safin isn't exactly broken up over revelations that fellow competitor Andre Agassi was addicted to crank. If he feels so bad about it now, Safin says, then why not give back all that money he didn't win?...

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Has Rare Form Of Leukemia
Tell your old man to drag chronic myeloid leukemia up and down the floor for the last year. The good news is that Kareem got a sponsorship deal with the company that makes his medication, so free drugs! [NYTimes/ESPN]...

He'll Never Be Banned From The Gambling Hall of Fame
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Desperate Redskins Fans Export Angry Sign Holding Jobs
Since Generalissimo Snyder has banned all forms of public expression with his eyesight, Washington fans who wished to mock him were forced to drive to Atlanta just to put bags over their head and look sad....

Hey, Look At That! It's College Basketball Season!
Funny how it sneaks up on you, huh? The regular season begins in fitting fashion tonight as the defending champs take on Isiah Thomas in a game he didn't want to coach and no one else wants to watch. Beautiful....