a Page 7304 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Hockey Team Dooms Children, Elderly
Because the prairie provinces are generally uncontroversial, and those few controversies are always hockey-related, the latest media storm in Calgary is due to the Flames jumping the line to receive the swine flu vaccine....

I Hope No One In Philadelphia Needed To Find Anything On The Internet Today
Bing is apparently giving up on that elusive non-New York market, transforming their front page into a tribute to the Yankees. Well, they do say that rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for Microsoft. [Via The Sports Hernia]...

The Face That Launched A Thousand Indignant E-Mails (UPDATE)
We thought it was all fun and games when we posted this video of Manu Ginobili swatting down a rogue bat on Halloween. We neglected to take into account the rabid bat-lovers among our readership....

Tim Lincecum Cited In Least Surprising Pot Bust Ever
Raise your hand if you didn't see this one coming. Was it the shaggy hair? The vacant smile? Or the 3.3 grams of marijuana found in the reigning Cy Young Award winner's Mercedes? [The Columbian]...

The Pop-Psychologizing Of Alex Rodriguez Will Never End
A-Rod finished the postseason with a .365/.500/.808 line. Apparently, this had nothing to do with his being a wonderful ballplayer and everything to do with personal transformation, moral courage and self-actualization. Meet your 2009 playoffs MVP: Freakin' Jonathan Livingston Seagull....

Sports-O-Ween III: Season Of The Itchy Sweatpants
You people just will not let this go, will you? Just moments after I put up the last gallery of unfortunate costume horrors, my inbox was flooded with still more masquerade submissions. Seriously, folks, this is becoming a sickness....

Gladwell, I Am Told, Is Often Misunderstood
Deadspin's part-time weekend wrecker Moe Tkacik has penned an epically long story about Bill Simmons admirer and pezzy-haired cultural point-tipper Malcolm Gladwell for "The Nation." Feast.[The Nation]...

Searching For...Whoever The Hell This Lady Is
Deadspin's deadbeat ballplayer detective service has prompted more readers to reach out to us with more people-finding missions. The latest request is a little more complicated because it's, well, oh, just read the email......

We're Sorry Your Blog Won't Get Mentioned On SportsCenter Anymore
In case you hadn't noticed, ESPN has ended their morning "Blog Buzz" feature, which was their way of sweet talking the three-dimensional circle of sports blogs. They stopped broadcasting it....let's see...a little over two weeks ago. That's weird, right?...

The Greatest Thing You'll Watch All Day: Tyler Hansbrough's Acting Class
The incomparable J.E. Skeets, Esq. provides us with a glimpse into how Psycho T honed his acting chops before his car wow-filled commercial debut. [BasketballJones]...

Why Are So Many Quarterbacks Kicking So Much Ass? Jamboroo, Week 9
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Mary Carey Tells The World How Dwight Howard Tried To Woo Her With His Penis
KHTK Radio has a delightfully daffy interview with the pornstress/gubernatorial candidate/celebrity rehabber, where she reveals that a starry-eyed Dwight Howard once showed up at her then boyfriend's house to profess his undying lust for her by unzipping his pants. [SBBviaSRI]...

Deleted Scenes From The Sports Guy Book Tour
Bill Simmons' book tour continues apace (NY Times #1 bestseller!) and we also continue to get dispatches from fans of overweight literature. Enjoy these tales of long lines, blurry photographs, and some guy who likes autographed meat....

In Exhibition Game, Marcus Jordan Scores One Point, Costs School Several Million Dollars
Michael's son wore a pair of Air Jordans in Central Florida's exhibition opener yesterday, and now adidas has petulantly ended its relationship with the school. Marcus went 0-for-3 in 23 minutes against something called St. Leo. [Orlando Sentinel, UCF Athletics]...

Searching For Enrique Wilson: Also In The Dominican Republic
You've gone an outdone yourselves again, sleuthers. Deadbeat Enrique Wilson has been located by multiple readers playing for the Toros Del Este in the Dominican Winter League....

Joe Girardi Helps Car Crash Victim On Way From Game 6
Driving home from Yankee Stadium last night, drunk with power (and champagne!), Girardi stopped to help an accident victim, even though each World Series winner is specifically granted the right to run over one pedestrian, no questions asked. [LoHud/Slanch]...

Isiah Thomas Continues His Formula For Success
Florida International begins its march to the upper echelon of D-I basketball by playing its first exhibition game under their new head coach....and losing to an NAIA school coached by Rollie Massimino. Exactly as planned. [AP/SB/RTC]...

Chip Caray Surrenders His Crown To Chris Rose As The Most Loathed Broadcaster In Baseball
And so these playoffs end much as they began: with people on the Internet calling a broadcaster a "total ass whip." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Chris Rose....

Sadly, All The Clever Headline Writers Were At The Game
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

It Never Gets Old
So they spent more money than anyone else. So they didn't have to wait as long as anyone else. Ask us fans if it feels any less amazing. It doesn't....