a Page 7307 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

It's Just Like "Never Been Kissed," With More Statutory Rape
We've all wished at one point or another that we could relive our high school days. But when you pose as a high school student to get another crack at a basketball scholarship, try not to land an underage girlfriend....

Yankees Contribute To Corporate Malfeasance
The half-ton of recycled paper delivered to businesses in lower Manhattan wasn't enough, as some offices started chucking out sensitive financial documents. If the Yankees could have won last year, there would have been no need for a bailout. [WNYW]...

Jahvid Best In Surprisingly Good Shape (i.e. Alive, Moving)
Someone recently wrote (I can't for the life of me remember who) that there's nothing quite like the sound of an entire stadium sure they just watched someone die....

English Language 1, Washington Fans 0
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Everything You Need To Know About What It's Like To Do Color Analysis For Richmond Vs. Villanova
I'm sure when he says "bum" he means "hero" and when he says "end this fucking game" he means "what an exciting 4th quarter." [Bsmeddy You Tube]...

I Believe This Sums Up The Average Notre Dame Fan's Thoughts Quite Nicely
So, uh, Notre Dame lost to Navy today 23-21. The last time an unranked Navy team beat a ranked Notre Dame squad was 1936. The last time Navy beat the Fighting Irish twice in a row was 1961 and 1963....

So, The University Of Arizona Had An Undie Run...
Undie Runs on our nation's university campuses are occurring more and more often. That doesn't mean I'm not going to do a post about it. What do you mean this isn't about sports? There's sports at the University of Arizona....

Who Else Thinks This Guy's Favorite Cartoon Is 'Pinky And The Brain'?
If this guy were a shoplifter, would he refer to what he does as using the "four finger discount"? Seriously, I got nothing. Commenters, do your thing. [H/T DS reader Joe, many others]...

I Bet Rich Rodriguez Could Sure Use A Couple Of Boilermakers Right About Now
Michigan lost to Purdue 38-36 at the Big House, the first time to Purdue since 1966. The Wolverines have now lost three straight and five consecutive Big Ten games. Even worse? Rich Rod got punked at midfield after the game....

Finally, Kobe Bryant Accomplishes Something
By scoring 41 points last night, Bryant became the youngest player ever to reach 24,000 points. The commenter who best incorporates this into an anal sex joke gets a +1 or whatever is behind Door No. 3. [USA Today]...

Say What? Our Long, National Nightmare About A Major League Pitcher's Weed Possession Charge Is Already Over?
The attorney for Tim Lincecum has negotiated a settlement with prosecutors to settle the pitcher's marijuana misdemeanor charge by having Lincecum pay a $250 fine for possession of a pipe. The possession of marijuana charge will be dropped. Come again?...

Your Late Afternoon College Football Viewing Open Thread
Nothing wrong with that. Feel free to go beyond college football and discuss Sports in general. For instance, why did they start off the album with "Heart of Rock & Roll" instead of "Heart & Soul"? Stupid....

'Hooray For Mannywood, That Screwy Ballyhooey Mannywood'
Dodgers fans must feel like they have just come off a cycle and are taking hCG as it was announced that Manny Ramirez will not exercise the escape clause in his contract and will remain a Dodger. [Los Angeles Times]...

So, You Want Some Nasty Injuries With Your Hockey? I Got Your Nasty Injuries For Ya
The esteemed Wysh a/k/a Puck Daddy has a rundown of the Top 10 Most Brutal NHL Injuries of the Last Decade. Let's have a look-see, shall we? (Clint Malarchuk figurine sold separately)...

Your Early Game College Football Open Thread
Are you hoping those scrappy purple-clad kids from NW can somehow derail the mighty Iowa? You want Miami's Jacory Harris to say something silly to the UVA d-line? Can Central Florida not lose by 50 to Glandorf University? [LMK]...

Cornell Business School: Home Of All Sorts Of Savory Juices
Yes, this has nothing to do with sports whatsoever. This is just completely embarrassing and awful and you won't be able to stop reading it: You're my hero!!!! My knight in shining armor!!! My private porn star!!!!! [GuestOfAGuest via Gawker]...

Yankee Bromances Abundant In City Of Sleeplessness
I can't really condemn these scruffy-faced Yankee fans for their jubilant man-love after the Yankees World Series victory. I probably made out with at least three dudes at Dirty Frank's last year after the Phillies won....

Sammy Sosa Re-emerges As Shiny-Suited Latino Zombie
I have no idea what strange transformation Mr. Sosa is going through, but it's obvious that, yes, something is seriously messed up with Slammin' Sammy's pigmentation....

Donald Sterling Continues To Get Away With Being The Most Evil Man In Sports
Racist greedhead Donald Sterling will pay $2.73 million to settle a federal housing bias lawsuit accusing him of all kinds of sleazy and thuggish behavior, none of which matters in David Stern's NBA if you're an owner....

Chris Dudley Will Rebuild Oregon Brick By Brick
The former NBA "big man" is running for governor of Oregon, as a Republican. "He's a solid guy, and Oregonians know that." If by "solid," you mean he played the post like he had lead feet, then yeah. [AP]...