a Page 7309 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tells Us Something We Don't Know, Anonymous Sign Maker
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
World Series Open Thread: It's Always Poultry In Philadelphia
We (most likely) bid farewell to the 2009 season with this absurd tableau of a gentleman in a chicken suit, a sad Tigger and a clutch of Citizens Bank Park security guards, beseeching them to kindly settle the fuck down....
The Terrifying Horrors Of Sports-O-Ween
We've tallied the results and as suspected....your Halloween costumes kind of stunk. Don't sweat it though. At least you weren't burned alive for going to a Scottish soccer match dressed as a sheep....
American Who Won NYC Marathon Isn't American Enough For Some People
American Meb Keflezighi won the New York City Marathon yesterday, which seemed pretty cool until a couple of wet blankets came along to remind everyone he's only "technically" American....
No One Cares About A F*cking Live Press Conference
The Vikings beat the Packers at Lambeau Field yesterday. But did you know there were other NFL games played on that day? No, I swear. It's true!...
Look Like a Dirty Hipster for One Month for Charity
Movember started yesterday. Rules: 1. Register here. 2. When you emerge from your Halloween-party hangover this Sunday, shave. 3. Grow and groom a moustache for the entire month. Dress codes and formal portraiture be damned! It's for charity!...
Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Eye For An Eye Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....
Cranky, Insufferable Newspaper Boob Vs. Cranky, Insufferable Sports-Radio Boob: Who Ya Got?
The New York Post's Phil Mushnick takes off his white glove and slaps Mike Francesa right across the cheek, calling him a liar and a Jew-basher and challenging him to a footrace. [NY Post, Bob's Blitz]...
FOX Sports Sends A Message: "We Are Shameless Corporate Whores"
Obviously, the FOX television network is not known for subtlety or restraint when it comes to shilling for its various synerg-tatsic properties, but their ridiculous Avatar promos on Sunday redefined crappy product placement (for crappy products.)...
Brandon Spikes Will Blind You If He Has To (Update)
If Georgia's Washaun Ealey didn't want his eyes gouged out by Florida's Brandon Spikes, then maybe he shouldn't have worn a helmet that allows for pesky weaknesses like "vision."...
Another Macy's Miracle
This full-page ad for Phillies championship gear is apparently running in the Philadelphia Inquirer today (Update: They're awfully sorry!) even after the marketing director specifically said "Tegucigalpa Daily News." Even Brad Lidge can't save this disaster. [PhillyTalk]...
Alex Rodriguez Wins The Weekend (Again)
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Alex Rodriguez, who won the weekend by pretty much just owning these playoffs. He's like some amazing mythical creature!...
Return Of The "Rock N' Roll" Tongue Bath
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Pitcher Known For Mustache Wins Mustache Award
In what other award ceremony will you hear the winning entry referred to as a "menacing mouth garden?"...
Celebrating A Half-Century Of Common Sense
Today is the 50th anniversary of Jacques Plante first donning a mask in a game. Which is good, because instead of debating the necessity of fighting in hockey, we'd be wondering why our goalies keep dying every few weeks. [WaPo]...
Tackler Has Great Form, Terrible Uniform Recognition
The semi-pro Las Vegas Cobras claim to "provide our players the ability to fine-tune their skills for advancement to the next level." Lesson number one: stop tackling your teammates....
The Most Extreme PAT Ever
A high schooler boomed his kick into a transformer, knocking out power to the neighborhood. I assume the remainder of the game was played in slow motion, with sparks cascading around them, like a John Woo film. [Birmingham News]...
Just What I Was Thinking; This Game Needs More Favre
Because you, the consumer, demanded it, FOX has a dedicated camera trained solely on Brett Favre (reader David demonstrates). Try to keep it in your pants. [Brett Favre cam]...
The Good, The Bad and The Browns
That vaunted Broncos defense finally ran into a better one, while some quality teams struggled. Also, the usual terrible ones did too....