a Page 7320 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
There Goes The Greatest Halloween Costume That Ever Lived
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
D:LKFJ:LDFKJ:LDFKJ:LDKFJ:LDFK!!! (UPDATE)
Honestly. See you tomorrow!...
Yes, That Was Pat Sajak And A-Rod Groping Jeter's Buttocks
Alex Rodriguez's magic tush massage could not overcome the haunting Sajak voodoo gaze as the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim staved off the Yankee gorilla trouncing for one more day. Something called Jeff Mathis is today's hero....
StubHub Offering Great Deals On Mythical Mets-Cubs World Series Tickets
For baseball fans who have seen their teams' championship dreams already extinguished, October is the cruelest month. So it doesn't help when some mean website rubs salt in the wounds with offers of imaginary playoff tickets....
Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Transfiguration Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....
To Sell Nets, NBA Might Have To Look The Other Way On The Soviet Stuff
Running a financial and criminal background check on a Russian oligarch is not as easy as it sounds. "Information can be had, but you have to be prepared to accept the grayness." Wait, that's exactly how it sounds. [NYTimes]...
Return Of The Revenge Of The Customized Jersey
We asked for more. You delivered more....and more....and more. Whether it's a duct taped Brett Favre jersey or turning a beer cooler into a motorcycle, America has not lost its ingenuity, nor its desire for custom, DIY nonsense....
Bosom Buddies: A Correspondence With Melissa Lima
This job, unlike many others in "sports media," provides plenty of absurd scenarios on a weekly basis. But this one, involving Jose Lima's ex-wife, Melissa, thrusts us headlong into Eugene Ionesco territory....
Armen Keteyian Will Solve This Steve McNair Business Himself
You probably thought that whole ugly Steve McNair business was over and done with, right? Guess again. You will never be rid of this story, because CBS News is still on the case—the Cold Case, if you will....
Jeff Reed: Defender Of Public Urination
Now we know the real truth behind Jeff Reed's cop trouble last night, and I owe him an apology. Reed was merely trying to defend his teammate—tight end Matt Spaeth—from police intimidation....after Spaeth was caught peeing in public....
Reporter Is Unamused By Our Tale Of Minor-League Cock Hijinks
Recently, Giants farmhand Garrett Broshuis shared the story of his teammate's dong-waggling mating ritual, which Garrett likened to the furious, metronomic beating of a toy drum. And now, the reporter for whom the drum was furiously, metronomically beaten is outraged....
Redskins Season Quickly Devolving Into Roland Emmerich Film
Oh, man. This Washington Redskins season. Let this be a lesson to you other teams: if you're not gonna contend for the playoffs, please have the courtesy to implode in the most hilarious manner possible....
Where The Poise Aren't
Poiserback Mark Sanchez tossed five interceptions in the Jets' 16-13 loss to the Bills yesterday and, more importantly, recorded just one "poise" in the next day's papers — and that in reference to his team's overall lack of the stuff....
A Flying Squirrel Mascot Is Not Totally Nuts
The winning entry in the "name Richmond, Virginia's new minor league baseball team" contest is: The Flying Squirrels. I can't wait for their giant foam mascot to scare the crap out of little children. [WTVR/Times-Dispatch]...
Jim Nantz' Divorce Trial Gets Its Own Sad Play-By-Play
CBS's omnipresent talking guy Jim Nantz is divorcing his wife of 26 years. This is not at all scandalous or shocking, yet the local newspaper provided us all with a depressing blow-by-blow that just might break your heart....
Jeff Reed Still Has The Magic Touch
The Liquor Kicker got cited for public intoxication and disorderly conduct after stumbling from Heinz Field down to McFadden's Bar after the game yesterday. Fortunately, he got pinched by 9 p.m. so he could still get his sleep. [WPXI]...
Alex Rodriguez Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Alex Rodriguez, who won the weekend by making everyone forget how much they hate him. Take his hand and he'll lead you there.......