a Page 7358 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Naughty Word Appears On Sports Broadcast, And A Snickering Nation Presses Pause
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Shawne Merriman Knows How To Beat A Lady (UPDATED)
San Diego Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman was arrested last night after allegedly roughing up his girlfriend, noted internet person Tila Tequlia. Way to start the season strong, buddy....

There is No Difference Between a Lacrosse Brawl and a Regular Brawl
The video below is from Game 1 of the Mann Cup, Canada's national lacrosse championship. The New Westminster Salmonbellies beat the Brampton Excelsiors 12-9, but the real story was the sh*tshow that erupted during the second period. Observe:...

Final Update: Red Rover, Red Rover, Hugh Johnson Is Over
For today at least. And somehow we made it through with only 70% of you realizing I know nothing about college football. Your final HJP of the day is below....

Todd Marinovich's Half-Brother Would Like to Show You His Pistols
In his debut for Syracuse this afternoon, QB Greg Paulus threw a fatal interception in OT that cost his team the game. Luckily for the Orange, they've got a couple of spare guns on their defensive line....

Sweet Vindication for Stephen A. Smith
An arbitrator has ruled that his demotion/dismissal from the Philadelphia Inquirer way back in January 2008 was "unjust", and has ordered the negotiation of an "appropriate remedy". I'm sure we could come up with a few suggestions....

Update 2: Not All Technological Advancements Benefit Mankind
Now we're cookin'! Paulus choked (which should please you), Kenny Chesney sucks, and Lee Corso is frighteningly detailed....

Ex-OSU Tight End May Have a Problem With Raping People
Earlier this week, sophomore Jamal Mosley up and left the Oklahoma State football team for what head coach Mike Gundy called "personal reasons". Turns out by "personal reasons", he meant "multiple rape allegations". To-may-to, to-mah-to, I guess....

This Week in Love
Alright, time to commence my weekly scan of the interwebs to see who got engaged recently. Let's see, there's Ricky Williams and Kristen Barnes. There's also Jim from The Office and Emily Blunt (slow down, you two!). And......

Update 1: All Systems Go
In the words of jeremycham, "it has begun". Some good stuff to start, but we could have used a few more Greg Paulus references....

Rampage Jackson Ditches Upcoming Bout to Star in A-Team Movie
I wonder which character he'll play?...

Guess Hugh's Back?
The Hugh Johnson Project, that is the one who is back!...

Cash From Clunkers: Brett Favre Fined $10K for That Dirty Hit
Say what you will about the morality issues tied in with Mike Vick's return to the NFL, but perhaps it is another QB who's return was much-discussed about whom we should be worrying the most....

Mariners Skipper Takes Job Title Seriously
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Sitting Duck: LeGarrette Blount Done At Oregon
Fistic running back LeGarrette Blount has been suspended for the rest of the season, ending his career at Oregon. Meanwhile, an NFL scouting director tells ESPN that Blount is now "completely undraftable." [The Oregonian, ESPN]...

Spend The Weekend With Gourmet Spud
Yes, fans, the photo above is the mysterious Gourmet Spud of the brilliant Food Court Lunch. A helpful tipster spotted him in the canned goods aisle at a WalMart near Banff. He was buying 40 cans of Kirkland salmon....

SEIUbermetrics
"In a comparison between [MLB] teams with home stadiums that use Aramark and teams with home stadiums that do not, Workers United found that non-Aramark teams' average luck is .40 and Aramark teams' average luck is -1.93." [Workers United]...

The One Where Sweaty Will Leitch Startles A Man
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Why Your Half-Day Sucks
Because most of you are stuck in traffic right now, this week's exciting installment of Why George Will Sucks will run next week. Keep sending in your Dodger Stadium stories: [email protected]....

OK, Enough With The Contrarian MVP Crap
Joe Mauer is your AL MVP. Not Mark Teixeira. Not Kendry Morales. Not Derek Jeter. He is MVP by just about every standard imaginable except for the one applied by bored sportswriters who need copy during an inert pennant race....