a Page 7393 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
There Is Nothing Funny About This Picture
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Jack The Skipper
Vaguely tragic Jack Clark, hired last fall to manage the Springfield Sliders, has already missed 10 home games because of "commitments to Fox Sports Midwest and various other duties." They should give the job to Andre Dawson instead. [State Journal-Register]...
Dan Patrick Radio Listeners: If You Need Some Tasty Ear Candy To Jumpstart Your Tuesday...
It turns out SI's Dan Patrick is filming a scene for an upcoming Adam Sandler movie tomorrow so he needs fill-ins. Who'd he pick? Unfortunately for non-deaf America, not the ESL strippers from Rick's Cabaret....
All The Umpires Must Be Shot
Victorino's inexplicable ejection prompted Sporting Blogger, Dan Levy, to seethe: "Somewhere along the way in, umpires forgot the game isn't about them. They stand on the field to call balls and strikes, out and safe, and that's it" [SportingBlog]...
UFC 101: Beating Pipes, Disgusting Bloggers And Gerard Butler's Furiously Shaken Pud
By now you know that Mola Ram Anderson Silva ripped out Forrest Griffin's heart and flambéed it before 17,500 fans in Philadelphia. What you (hopefully) do not know is this: Gerard Butler plays with his haggis at the urinal....
New Thoughts Are for the Birds
Forget about generating new thoughts—just reminisce with your buddies. It's easier. For example, after the bartender hands you your bucket of Coronas, inquire, "Remember the time when the bartender gave us those beers? That was so great!!"...
T-Pain (and Auto-Tune) Makes Dolphins Fight Song Slightly Less Terrible
Miami has long relied on terrible music to rally their football team, but this is the 21st Century, so they hired T-Pain to hip-hopify their fight song by 20% or so. The kids love this stuff....
Patrick Kane Reminds You Why You Should Never Take A Cab Ride In Buffalo
The Blackhawks winger was charged with two counts of felony second-degree robbery and the always popular "criminal mischief" after punching a cab driver and stealing his money. Hey, when you grow up in Buffalo 20 cents is worth the effort....
Mina Brees Died As She Lived: Inexplicably
Drew Brees' estranged mother died last week in Colorado, though as of yet it's not known when, how or where exactly....
Johnny Narron: His Tongue Deviseth Mischiefs
On Friday, I spoke with Johnny Narron, the Rangers' special assignment coach and Josh Hamilton's devoutly religious "accountability partner." He was gracious, forthright and apparently full of crap....
What Is Wrong With Our Fragile Little League Baseball Players?
From 1995 to 1998, Dr. James Andrews performed nine Tommy John surgeries on teenage patients. From 2003 to 2008? 224. Young, amateur pitchers are breaking down faster than a Dusty Baker rotation and no one knows what to do....
Book Excerpts That Don't Suck: "The Football Fan's Manifesto"
Today's a glorious day. Michael Tunison aka Kwanzaa Primate's utterly fantastic book has arrived and he's graciously given us an excerpt. Plus! He's here to live chat with you. Buy it then pepper him with inane questions....
Josh Hamilton Is More Human Than Human (And Us)
Josh Hamilton said that if he ever slipped up, the entire country would know about it and he would be labeled a hypocrite. Everyone knows about it alright, but it only seems to make his inspiring inspiration even more inspirational....
Combative Deadspin HOF Nominee Returns To Dying Industry Out Of Spite
So the rumor was true, I guess. Brooks has some sort of confirmation of the deal, apparently. [SBB]...
Josh Hamilton's Re-Redemption Begins After The Vituperative E-mails End (Update)
Josh Hamilton's photo-documented backslide onto a bar-top covered in whip cream while being groped by strange women was potentially disastrous, but he responded with a shockingly disarming press conference. But Hamilton's fans (Hambone Heads) went predictably berserk on us anyway....
Greg Paulus Is The Biggest Legend In Virginia Tech History
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Linda Cohn Bravely Tests The ESPN Social Networking Policy
60,000 Cohn Heads. Now there ain't but 20,000 Bristol police in the whole town... can you dig it? [The Rookies]...
Not To Beat A Dead Horse, But...
You've got just a few more hours to vote for the Deadspin Hall Of Fame class of 2009. Could this finally be the year?...
If Mike Vick Is Repentant, He'll Never Tell
Michael Vick made an appearance at a Humane Society event yesterday, but don't expect to hear an inspiring message of redemption. Don't expect to hear it at all. Vick's talk wasn't for the community: it was for his own gain....