a Page 7451 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Of Course This Made Countdown
The estimable Tommy "Scraggs" and The Mighty Bentern get golf claps from the Left for their Palin full-court press rendering. Unfortunately, Olbermann used Craggs' Garbage Pail Kid nickname. [MSNBC/Andrew Sullivan]...

LeBron Gets Dunked On; None Of Us Are Witnesses
Word out of the LeBron James Skills Academy is that Xavier's Jordan Crawford turned the camp's host into his own personal Fred Weis, the sort of moment for which God created YouTube. Then along came Nike to confiscate the evidence....

Cole Hamels Is Very Secure In His Masculinity, Thank You
One fan was mortified to find out the Phillies pitcher's mode of pet transport: the dreaded tiny dog backpack. [Yellaphant]...

Lisa Leslie: Expect Bricks
The Superstars was only an hour this week! (Stupid Michael Jackson tributes.) But could they pack 90 minutes of excitement into just one tiny action-packed primetime block? Who likes missed lay-ups?...

That Last Name Never Gets Easier To Spell
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Quiet, Stoic Leader To Have Boring Retirement
Quebec Nordique legend Joe Sakic is calling it a career after 20 seasons in the NHL and not a single embarrassing scandal that we could all have a good laugh over now. What a jerk. [Denver Post]...

CBS News By Brooks
This photograph of Sahel Kazemi comes from CBS News' Crimesider blog, which promises "a rare glimpse into the slain football hero's hidden world" but in reality offers nothing but a glimpse into a dead woman's cleavage....

Somehow, Michael Jackson Was Partly Responsible For Magic Johnson's Greatness
I applaud Magic Johnson's ability to personalize it: "the way he controlled the band...the stage." But I'm sure he'd use the same approach if he were eulogizing a painter or a vacuum cleaner repairman. [Gawker]...

Someone Else Actually Wants To Buy The Cubs?
Hold the phone, North Siders. Wrigley Field and its tenants have supposedly been sold for $900 million, but a new suitor has stepped in to Cubsblock the Ricketts. Will the team slip through their fingers like a groundball to short?...

Just In Case You Wanted To Know What A Dwarf Wrestler Funeral Looks Like
Those two little masked heroes that were killed by bandit hookers last week had a well-attended funeral, which could have easily been mistaken for a Rob Zombie film. [The Sun via BarStoolSports]...

Brett Tomko Uses Painting To Ease Pain Of Being Brett Tomko
"For me, the best way to move on from [a bad outing] is to get the paints out. Kind of take my mind off the pitching for a few hours and just kind of regroup." [Star-Ledger]...

From The Desk Of Gary Belsky: Hygiene Edition
Gary Belsky is the EIC of ESPN The Magazine, which you probably know as the strange, unwieldy object wedged into your mailbox every other week. Sometimes, funny things happen at Gary's magazine, and employees tell us about them....

Steve McNair's Death Doesn't Make <i>SI</i> Cover
The May 3, 2004 Pat Tillman cover was the last time Sports Illustrated put a professional athlete's death on the next week's cover. This week's has a cover line about Wimbledon, but no hint of S.L. Price's elegant McNair tribute....

A Starburst Is Born
To one Tampa Bay Rays fan, these stars are not similar. To a Florida prosecutor, the blue star is a shameless rip of the yellow star. Which might put the fan in the clink for a year....

Bringing SexyBack To Golf
Justin Timberlake — former frontman for *NSYNC, international pop superstar, 6-handicap on the links — is shopping his first book. It's about golf, and it's reportedly a memoir about the 28-year-old's memorable rounds. Well, no one's done that before. [NYO]...

Michael Phelps Makes America Safe For Weed
Congratulations, dope heads! Your groovy hero has bonged his way into America's heart and now you're free to toke up wherever and whenever you see fit. Enjoy your reefer, hippies, and be sure to thank Michael Phelps when you do....

Yankees Will Deign To Respect Our Civil Liberties
Bradford Campeau-Laurion — the guy who was drummed out of Yankee Stadium for trying to tinkle during the Yankees' seventh-inning tribute to compelled patriotism, the playing of "God Bless America" — has settled his lawsuit against the team and city....

More Whitlock: McNair's Not A Hero, He's Not The Morality Police, Likes To Get His "Becky On" As Well
"Personally, I prefer June-December romances, but a blossoming May flower certainly could be fertilized into a special, 28-year-old bouquet by a patient and attentive gardener." Also: "Becky."[Fox Sports]...

Lance Armstrong Can't Not Be The Top Dog
Lance Armstrong said he just wanted to get some exercise and maybe promote his wristbands, because after four years off, expecting him to win the Tour de France would just be silly. What's that? He's in first place now? Lovely....

F—k Your Stupid Life Event: A Guide To Gift Giving
I hate buying gifts. I hate shopping for them, even online, which requires only that I click a mouse a few times, maybe fill out your address. NO TIME FOR THAT SHIT....