a Page 7476 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Famed Sportscaster, Hawaiian Shirt Enthusiast Now Hollywood Royalty
Big day for Bermans on this site. Chris Berman has officially become part of the Hollywood Walk Of Fame. One can only hope that the young boy singing for him in this infamous photo shows up to the ceremony....

Donte' Stallworth Suspended Indefinitely
Thus spake Goodell and his vengeance was swift and terrible. You do realize Stallworth's NFL punishment will likely be worse than the one he received from the State Of Florida? [Miami Herald]...

Imaginary League Holds Fantasy Draft
The UFL Draft is tonight. No one knows the rules and the results won't be announced, but that's okay because no one knows when the season starts or where the teams are even located. Catch the fever! [PFT; StockLemon; Yahoo]...

Rick Reilly Before He Was Rick Reilly®
Once upon a time, before he was a walking Father's Day card, before his writing became a neverending telethon for the blind and the deaf, the palsied and the pinkieless, the one-armed and the no-legged, Rick Reilly was really good....

Matt Millen <i>Is</i> The New Richard Nixon
Sports Illustrated has just published—courtesy of writer Don Banks—one of the most head-scratchingly bonkers essays of all-time, wherein Banks compares Matt Millen to Richard Nixon ... and somehow thinks that a compliment....

John Edward Brady Will Soon Have Better Looking Half-Brother Or Half-Sister To Resent
So says the nosy gossips at the Boston Herald who heard through an anonymous friend via Life & Style, that Gisele was successfully inseminated during the couple's honeymoon. Or she's just bloated. [Shutdown Corner]...

Blogging Himself To Live
He no longer appears on the news every night at 11 p.m., and so Len Berman, the sportscaster turned blogger, no longer has a formal office, either....

Getting To Know The Inland Empire 66ers
You've probably never heard of them, but the Dodgers' Class A affiliate is about to become the hottest ticket in minor league baseball. Inland Empire just might be the first stop on the Manny Being Manny Reunion Tour....

Not So Irrelevant Anymore
Ryan Succop, a kicker from South Carolina, was the last pick of this year's NFL Draft. He's reportedly about to become a rich, rich man. Like, $1.2 million rich. Who wouldn't trade relevance for cash? [Red Zone]...

I Guess They Do Shoot Horses, Don't They?
A veterinarian has been banned from Philadelphia Park race track for allegedly euthanizing a horse ... by shooting it in the head. Hey, that's just way they roll down in Philly. Deal with it....

Journalist Who Bravely Uncovered McGwire's (Perfectly Legal, Over-The-Counter) Drug Use Up For HOF Award
In 1998, the AP's Steve Wilstein spotted a bottle of legal supplements in Mark McGwire's locker. A decade of stupidity and Reefer Madness hysteria ensued, the Bill of Rights died a little, and now people think Wilstein belongs in Cooperstown....

It's U.S. Open Week And Everyone Needs Takeouts, So...
...let's write about how hard putting is. That hacker on your local muni, the one with the yips? Not so different from the winner at Bethpage Black, if they ever play. They worry about words like joule, though. [WSJ]...

It’s Family Hour With A Kinder, Gentler Buzz Bissinger (UPDATE)
Your Deadcast guest this week is Pulitzer Prize winner, author, and noted horsefucker Buzz Bissinger, and he's still got some f-bombs in his pocket. He was Artie Lange before Artie Lange was Artie Lange, you know....

Wisconsin Actually Has An Inspired Sense Of Humor
These shirts have been popping up all over Green Bay, given the news that their former quarterback is talking to the Vikings and considering another comeback. [Sconnie]...

The U.S. Open Is Open For Business
You were probably hoping that following the U.S. Open online would be a nice distraction from work today, but they just suspended play due to heavy rain. Hey, who wants to hear Tiger Woods cuss on teevee?...

Well, This Does Look Relaxing
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Stay In School, Kids (And You'll Be Smarter Than Any Major Leaguer)
The Wall Street Journal has discovered that out of all current Major League Baseball players and managers, only 26 have four-year college degrees. 26! And only three of those know how to calculate VORP. [WSJ]...

Somewhere Mark Madsen Is Crying
Goofy, gawky white guys lose control of themselves once they grace the stage at Memorial Coliseum to collect their trophies. Pau Gasol shows off his patented ostrich two-step and Kobe laughs at the Haters during today's public celebration....

Ryan Leaf Used To Be Carried In The Arms Of Cheerleaders, Part 47
New blue blood/Great white hope, Ryan Leaf was finally captured at the US-Canada border after dodging Texas authorities for close to a month. [San Diego Tribune]...

All Kobe Bryant and LeBron James Got Were These Lousy T-Shirts
TMZ on LeBron's "egotistical" shirt: "For the record—you won't see Kobe Bryant wearing a shirt with his individual accomplishments plastered on the front of it during his championship parade today." Wanna see what Kobe wore to the parade?...