a Page 7500 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Only The British Can Make Soccer Sound Like Fellatio
The Guardian, liveblogging Barca-Man U: "Stroke … pass … triangle … slide-rule pass … back-heel … tip … tap … slide-rule pass … neat triangle … neat triangle … neat triangle … through-ball … languid stroke … flick … trap … deft touch … chest … clatter … hoof." [Guardian]...
So Much For All Those Transparency Buzzwords
College football, the sport without a playoff system and with a championship game determined by a computer, is on the verge of becoming even more faceless, just four years after deciding it wanted to add some credibility to its rankings....
Don't Let The Sun Go Down On The Bird People
Denver may or may not succeed in keeping Kobe Bryant from his eternal destiny, but at least they are making things interesting. The series heads back to Los Angeles tied at 2, but anything that keeps goofballs like Chris Andersen in the "spotlight" a little longer is okay by me....
What You Need To Know About The NBA's Jaunty Superfan
He's the multi-millionaire (but not quite a billionaire) sporting the cowboy hat on his head and God-knows-what on his torso, and he happens to sit courtside at a terrifyingly astounding number of NBA games, sometimes carrying European models, all the time hobnobbing with the league's superstars. Me...
Patrick Roy Is Not Interested In Saving Your Lousy Franchise
Patrick Roy finally admits that he was indeed offered the Colorado Avalanche coaching job, but has turned it down for "family reasons." Is the "reason" that his family is filled with insane, violent rageaholics? [Denver Post]...
Jets Sued For Manipulating Ticket Prices By Men Who Wanted Jets Tickets, For Some Reason
Three men are suing the Jets for manipulating seat-license prices in an auction. The plaintiffs would have an excellent case, I think, if their judgment and credibility weren't immediately called into question by the fact that they were trying to buy Jets seat licenses. In an auction....
Scientists: Barry Zito Is An Optical Illusion
Next time you whiff on a curveball, blame it on your brain. Visual scientists recently applied the functions of foveal and peripheral vision to baseball, proving the curveball's sudden and severe "break" is a trick of the eyes. The graphic will occupy you for hours. Plus, it's science. [Illusion Sci...
Another Belichick Son Will Experience The Joys Of Alcohol Education Classes
The home life at the Belichick household may become a little turbulent now that 17-year-old Brian Belichick was busted for underage drinking at Gillette Stadium during the NCAA Lacrosse Championships....
Whoops, Sports Aren't So Recession-Proof After All
Turns out, it's proving difficult for the next Theo Epsteins and Jerry Maguires to catapult from frat parties to their dream jobs, so they're stuck cleaning minor league stadiums and taking unpaid internships at women's tennis tournaments. Tell me about it. I would write more, but Daulerio needs lun...
Barcelona and Manchester United Fight Over World's Remaining Marbles
I think I can say without hyperbole that for soccer nuts, today is like Christmas, Fourth of July, and the Super Bowl all rolled into one—only 100 million times bigger. It's the UEFA Champions League Final Day ... and you stupid Yanks are stuck at work!...
ESPN, Take Note Of Glenn Beck
"Right now, it's the bottom of the ninth and we are down to our last out and our last strike. Will our government take strike three looking? Or, will they wake up and save the day with a heroic three pointer on a penalty shot?" Um, red card! [Glenn Beck]...
This Episode Is Guaranteed To Gross You Out
A good portion of Americans join softball leagues this time of the year. Many do it for the social aspect alone, which leaves many teams stockpiled with players who are ridiculously awful.(Warning: Disturbing images ahead.)...
Savior Of Baltimore, Fantasy Teams Everywhere To Debut Friday
Matt Wieters, who is evidently a real player and not just some sad phantom haunting Yahoo fantasy rosters, will make his major league debut for Baltimore on Friday against the Tigers. "It's time," said Orioles president of baseball operations Andy MacPhail. Adjust your rosters accordingly. [Baltimor...
Winner Winner, Shake Shack Dinner
Getcher steak sandwiches, red-hot steak sandwiches! And sushi, creamy fried flounder, grilled shrimp po' boys, lobster rolls and clam chowder — all at Yankee Stadium and Citi Field. Frank Bruni gives the culinary edge to Citi, partly because Steinbrenner and Co. offer Johnny Rockets instead of Shake...
This Is Why Football Does Not Have Innings
A ridiculous experiment in "inning-based" football degenerated into a bench-clearing, crowd-rioting brawl, all because former Michigan quarterback Todd Collins does not understand the basic principles of clock management....
'Whole Lot Of People Puckered Up' After Florida Steroid Bust, Says Comical Backwoods Sheriff
What happens when you mix steroid hysteria with two self-aggrandizing backwoods halfwits on either side of the law? This: "What investigators aren't sure of is whether Richard Thomas, 35, is telling the truth when he said ... he sold mostly to professional athletes," specifically those on the Capita...
A Game Of “Healthy Fat Or Unhealthy Fat” With Martellus Bennett
Our Deadcast guest this week is none other than Martellus Bennett: tight end for the Dallas Cowboys, expert blogger and renowned Twitter fiend....
College Kid Sleeps On Toilet Before Amazing Runs
College student Justin Weber didn't have a hotel room the night before running a big ten-mile race, so he slept in a port-a-john. Then he won the race in the morning. I don't know about you, but I think that story is a bunch of crap. [The Jock Itch]...
Sidney Crosby Taunts The Hockey Gods
The Penguins polished off a nice cold pitcher of Hurricanes last night, earning a return trip to the Stanley Cup Finals and a chance at redemption. Then captain Sidney Crosby just thumbed his nose at all that by skating around the ice with the Prince of Wales Trophy....
NYC Athletes Address The Evils Of The Internet
Gary Sheffield has a solution, though: "It shouldn't be against the law to take the picture, but to post it and say something negative I think should be against the law. It's like an invasion of privacy." [NYP]...