a Page 7509 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Clippers To Ruin Blake Griffin's Life
Los Angeles Clippers president Andy Roeser is in loooove with Blake Griffin and since his team won the NBA Draft Lottery, the Oklahoma forward will likely be next to join that house of horrors. He was such a nice boy too. [AP]...

Michael Vick Escapes From Prison!
Convicted dog murderer Michael Vick snuck out of the federal penitentiary in Leavenworth under the cover of darkness this morning, completely undetected by the media. How does he do it?!...

Never Try To Steal A Car From Najeh Davenport
If you see a car parked on the street with the engine running, you'd probably be tempted to jump in and take a ride. Just make sure it doesn't belong to Najeh Davenport, because he will chase your ass down....

In Canada It's Pronounced 'Coonty'
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Joe Theismann Can't Talk About MNF Without Sounding Bitter
"I don't think Tony was ever really comfortable in a role. I know the time that I spent with him, he really didn't want to do football. "[Fang's Bites]...

Melanie Collins Returns To Full-Court Action
So says her Twitter. I guess she didn't get in trouble for those interesting photos of her pants-spelunking. But she's on Game 1 of the Cavs/Magic series....

Rich Person Wonders Why Rich People Are So Bad At Sports
"It seems logical that children of privilege who have access to world-class coaching and state-of-the-art facilities should develop professional-level talent, but for some reason that almost never happens." The answer, he says, "is elusive." [VF.com]...

MLB.com Really Can't Figure Out This Whole Death Thing
According to MLB.com, Nick Adenhart is still the 35th best major league prospect. However, right above his profile, there is an editor's note explaining that he died....

Say What You Want About Manny, But Don't Call Him Unethical
The New York Times' ethicist-in-chief declares that Manny Ramirez's steroid use was unwise, unsafe and "mars the beauty of the game," but it wasn't particularly unethical. [NYT]...

Blowing The Whistle: Turkish Soccer Ref Forced Out Because He's Gay
A Turkish soccer referee has lost his job on account of his liking dudes. Horrors!...

Dirk Nowitzki's Lady Friend Gives Jailhouse Interview
Cristal Taylor has given her first jailhouse interview, stating that yes, she was engaged to Dirk Nowitzki; no, he hasn't called; and you bet your ass, she's pregnant....

Enjoy Your Lettuce Wraps, Courtesy Of Briny Baird
The golfer hit a 230-yard, 34-story-high shot into Petco Park and won all of America free lettuce wraps from P.F. Chang's. Nice try, China—I'm not falling for that again. [SteadyBurn; Devil Ball Golf]...

James Harrison Has A Fear Of Flying, Not Of White House
Just when James Harrison became 1000% scarier due to his seemingly bizarre decision and reasoning to not visit the White House with his Steeler teammates, we find out he's not the anti-authoritarian lunatic we thought....

Which NBA Wife Packs Her Husband's Condoms When He Goes On Road Trips?
A non-sequitur of a post on bizarro world sports site MomLogic appears to be an anonymous confession from a "realistic" sports widow who knows what side her road beef is buttered on....

The Nationals Are Content With Losing As Many Games As Possible This Season, Thank You
Stephen Strasburg, this year's can't-miss baseball prospect, has started 13 games at San Diego State and he's won 12 of them....

A Day At The Races, With Larry King!
Item: CNN's Larry King, the former USA Today Beat poet and godfather of Twitter, has a new memoir dropping. Today's excerpt, in which a down-and-out Larry hits the racetrack, is as awesome as you'd expect....

Mike Tirico Being Groomed For Bigger, Boomer Things
"In an apparent attempt to make Mike Tirico a younger Chris Berman, ESPN has juggled its lineup, giving its "Monday Night Football" play-by-play voice "a variety of high-profile TV and radio assignments." [Times-Union]...

It's The Michael Strahan Show!
I was just thinking the other day that primetime television needs more shows featuring NFL sack leaders in key acting roles. And look at that! It happened. Michael Strahan is the newest member of the Fox family....

A-Rod, Kate Hudson: Neckin'
Was this in the Selena Roberts book? Regardless, according to Page Six's much more reliable anonymous sources, A-Rod and the former Mrs. Chris Robinson are officially doing it....

A Match Made In Barley And Hops
"Hi fellow brewer fans, I am getting married in August and since both of us are diehard crew fans, we are having a brewers themed wedding." Stop right there. Where are you registered and should I bring bottles or cans? [Wrigleyville23]...