a Page 7539 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

You Suck, Schuster!
A double in the top of the third ended Patrick Schuster's bid for a fifth consecutive no-hitter. [TampaTribune]...

NASCAR Still Dealing With Its Talladega Identity Crisis
I'm not sure if everyone has weighed in on the Carl Edwards restrictor plate mess, but there's been enough chatter from drivers past and present to show that everyone involved in racing has an opinion....

Matt Vasgersian Speaks!: Not A Racist, Just A Terrible Comedian
"I'm an idiot...Save the racial stuff which is just flat out wrong, almost all of what has been posted on my regrettably horrific timing is spot on...Nobody feels worse about it than I do." [KSK]...

The Hideki Irabu Era Is Not Over Yet
When last we heard of Japanese pitching sensation Hideki Irabu, he was drinking beer by the barrel and slugging bartenders back in his homeland. That was apparently just the warmup for his stateside comeback....

The University Of Oregon's Ultimate Frisbee Team Knows What It Means To Be ULTIMATE, Man
Suspended for off-field antics, the team got all "Footloose" at a school board meeting: "Speeding, drinking, nudity - they're not bad things. They're things a big portion of the community doesn't think are wrong." [SeattleTimes]...

Horse Killed In Collision At Churchill Downs
A 2-year-old filly died at Churchill Downs Monday after another horse collided with her during a training session. The collision was caught on video, but it's not for the squeamish....

You People Are Not Helping Molly Oberstar Defeat Her Overconfidence Problem
Remember this girl? Molly Oberstar? No? Me neither. But! It appears her "Exotic, European look" was enough to overcompensate for her self-absorption to win St. Paul Magazine's Real Model contest. [RandBall]...

Bruce Pearl Attempts To Use His Roguish, Swarthy Charm On Layla Kiffin
Bruce Pearl is tireless in his pursuit of younger, very attractive women. Even married mother of three, Layla Kiffin is not off-limits from his creepy advances....

The TeeBow Will Be In All The Ladies' Pants This Fall
I don't even want to contemplate the number of licensing agreements that are being violated here, but Tim Tebow-inspired ladies underwear is now available. I hear they come pre-soaked. (Sorry.) [TeeBows; via Deuce of Davenport]...

The Buzzsaw Bandwagon Has Found Its Driver
After 110 years for continuous football domination, the Arizona Cardinals finally have an "official" (sorta) fan club. And all they had to do was lose the Super Bowl!...

Ten Humans, Or Parts Thereof
Programming note: Our beloved Emeritus is traveling this week. Whether it's by air or through space and time, he refused to confirm. In his place, I will be presenting this week's Ten Humans. Sort of....

Softball Season Brings Out The Best And Worst In Everyone
A good portion of New Yorkers join softball leagues for the social aspect alone, which leaves many teams stockpiled with players who are ridiculously awful....

Matt Vasgersian Continues To Have Trouble With Live Television
Brad Hawpe was carted off the field last night after being hit hard with an errant pick-off throw. It was scary moment, made more awkward by Matt Vasgersian's subtle, yet poorly executed brand of "humor."...

Can This Kid Throw Five No-Hitters In A Row? (No Pressure!)
Florida high school pitcher Patrick Schuster goes for no-hitter No. 5 today in the state playoffs. But he already got his feature in the New York Times, so what's the point? [NY Times]...

Freddie Mitchell Is Here To Set The Record Straight
Last we'd heard from Freddie Mitchell, he was being investigated after a 7-pound package of weed was delivered to one of his restaurant businesses in Florida. Before that, he was allegedly substitute teaching. Now? Blogging....

Denver Nuggets Do Not Feel Remorse Or Pity
The Nuggets beat the Hornets by 58 points last night, tying an NBA record for heartless cruelty. Why do you make them hit you like that, New Orleans? [ProBasketballNews; Denver Stiffs]...

Look Who's Here, Everyone. It's Barry Bonds!
In today's episode of "Everybody Loves Barry," the semi-retired slugger pays a visit to his old home, gets a standing ovation, and explains that evil jerk side of his brain—that's just a character he plays!...

Cardinals Fans Unable To Head For The Mountains
Busch Beer is apparently very hard to come by at Busch Stadium this season. And this is a problem somehow? [Riverfront Times]...

So Much For That San Jose Dynasty
After dominating the first part of this season and then holding off Detroit to snag the best record in the league, the Sharks really thought that this was their year. Yeah, not exactly....

Kenny Powers Part IV
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....