a Page 7548 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Rick Ankiel Is The Latest American Mustache Hero
According to the American Mustache Institution, Ankiel's "labia secula" (Latin for "lip sweater", apparently) is responsible for his increased production at the plate. [AMI]...
Girl, 12, Throws Perfect Game, Is Called Up By Mets
The taunting rings in your ears and burns like fire, and will for years. A girl pitched a perfect game against your Little League team, and you struck out three times. Nelson Muntz approves....
Troy Polamalu And Larry Fitzgerald Are Your New Madden Cover Boys
Both of them can't suffer knee injuries this year can they? [MaddenNFl10]...
Tony Allen Is Not Very Popular In Chicago
Boston Celtics' guard Tony Allen apparently has angered some Chicago-area individuals so much they have threatened to kill him, prompting Tom Clancy-like security for him during last night's Bulls/Celtics game at the United Center....
Our Two Greatest Leaders Make A Pact To Save The World
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap (Photo: Orlando Sentinel)...
Vancouver Blog Jinxes Canucks Early And Often
A Canucks blog is asking fans to submit their own user-generated Stanley Cup parade routes. Is there a route that takes them under the World's Largest Ladder? [The White Towel; via Puck Daddy]...
Maybe She's Calling Sidney Crosby A Pelvis
Wow. Fun day for everybody involved. Let's just shut this down and consider this your open thread for the evening. Talk about hockey. Basketball. Baseball. AthleteTweets.com Your decreased wallet size. Your small intestine. Rainbows. Ponies....
ESPN Headline Writers Are Witty Rapscallions
Well isn't that special. But in ESPN's defense, there's probably not a whole lot you can do with news like this. [ESPN]...
Big Papi Fires Warning Shot Over Joba's Bow
Their series doesn't begin until tomorrow, but David Ortiz thought he'd get in a preemptive strike today against Joba Chamberlain and the Yankees. Hey Joba, please don't throw at our noggins....
Mess With The Fordham Ram, You Get The Horns
We've all been there—you're hanging in the cafeteria when the school mascot walks in and you find yourself with an overwhelming urge to punch him the face. If you're a Fordham student, resist that urge....
It's Nap Time When Timmy McGee SAYS It's Nap Time
When site banners and headlines collide, the results can be somewhat amusing. Meet the deceptively muscled tykes of the Trigg County powerlifting team. I'm guessing that's Timmy McGee in the yellow shirt. [TCPS]...
Tony Gonzalez Is The New Falconer
Kansas City sends Tony Gonzalez to Atlanta and Matt Ryan for a 2010 second-round pick. You weren't using that were you, Matt Cassel? (Yes, two Falconer references in one day! I win $5!) [USA Today]...
Which Of These Nightmare Fuels Will Be The New St. John's Mascot?
What, no giant talking beer keg? St. John's has a storied and troubled history when it comes to mascots, and the current vote to find a new one is not going to help, it appears....
The Myth Of Lenny Dykstra Completely Unravels
ESPN's Mike Fish punctures the final holes into Lenny Dykstra's supposed financial genius with swift, purposeful blows. Hopefully, this is the last we'll hear about Dykstra for a long, long time....
Crack The F—king Skye. Your 2009 NFL Draft Jamboroo
The NFL Draft is this weekend, so time for a special offseason edition of Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo. Enjoy....
Money For Nothing And Your Outfielders For Free
Outfielder Jason Tyner was assigned to Class AAA by the Tigers, who acquired him today from the Brewers for, apparently, nothing. [NBCSports]...
Feds Seize Brandi Chastain's Bra, Demand Ransom
If you want to see the bra alive again, leave $250 in unmarked bills at the enclosed location. No tricks. Bra will be shipped within 5-7 business days....
Martellus Bennett Wants To Know Why He Loves Chicken So Much
Everyone's favorite Cowboy blogger has been off for a week, but he came back with an important post that will surely further a difficult, but necessary debate—why do black people love the fried chicken?...
Steve Nash Must Be Stopped Before He Directs Again
In his directorial debut, Steve Nash frolicked with Baron Davis on a tandem bike. Now there's Superbadge, starring Shaquille O'Neal and Alando Tucker as cops. This can't be good for anyone. [NBA.com]...