a Page 7601 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Lindsey Vonn Wins Gold, Would Prefer Another Cow
American Lindsey Vonn won her first major ski gold medal today, but still pines for the days when she was paid for victories in livestock....

The God Save The Fan (Paperback Edition) FAQ
Today, the paperback version of God Save The Fan is released to bookstores. There's some stuff that's different than the last version....

The Onion Sports Network Debuts
Tom Coughlin Retires From Family To Spend More Time With Team”Let’s steam things up.” [Onion Sports Network]...

Bob Costas Joins MLB Network, But "Costas Now" Is Gone Forever
After months of haggling, the upstart MLB Network (which is pretty excellent by the way) has finally inked him to a full-time deal, Darren Rovell reports....

Alaskan Hockey Games Listed As "Questionable (Volcano)"
Well, here's something you don't see every day. A weekend hockey series between Alaska-Anchorage and St. Cloud State is in danger of being scrapped due to impending volcanic eruption. Huh?...

Mickey Gets A Booth Review
Santonio Holmes visits Disney World. In exchange, Mickey Mouse will be cited and appear in a Pittsburgh court on possession of marijuana charges. [Orlando Sentinel]...

What Is Up With That Steelers Fight Song?
If you managed to catch any of the Pittsburgh Steelers victory parade today, you might have heard the haunting bass grooves of what might be the worst team fight song of all time....

Comcast: Sorry For The Porn, Here's Ten Bucks
Comcast is vowing to catch the saboteur who spliced porn into the Super Bowl broadcast to some 80,000 subscribers in the Tucson area on Sunday. But in the meantime, here's a $10 coupon. Porn credit!...

Super Bowl XLIV Odds Allow You To Get The Jump On Next Year's Gambling Losses
The Patriots—quarterback controversy!—are 8-1 favorites to win next year's Super Bowl. Dallas (yeah, that'll happen) is 9-1. Arizona? 30-1. Let it ride. [The Spread]...

On-Court Drowning Nearly The Most Exciting Highlight Of OKC Thunder Season
If you've even been to a live sporting event in North America, then you've probably seen some terrible halftime entertainment—but that's because so few halftimes involve a death-defying act that actually defies death....

Cal Bear Recruit Is Very Happy To Finally Leave New Jersey
Immaculata High School Mark Brazinski seems like a pretty awesome guy. Congratulations on joining the Pac-10. [NJ.com]...

What We've Got Here, Is A Complete Lack Of Respect For The Law
Hmm; one thing that kind of got lost in the shuffle about this Michael Phelps bong hit business ... smoking weed is still sort of illegal here. Especially in states like South Carolina....

Citi Field Naming Rights Is The Least Of The Mets Problems
The Wall Street Journal is reporting that beleaguered financial dinosaur Citigroup may be looking to get out its deal to purchase the naming rights to the New York Mets new stadium....

Washington Post Columnist Mines Deadspin Comments, Finds Comedy Gold
From Sally Jenkins' Washington Post column: "A wit named Gourmet Spud posted this sendup of his autobiography on Deadspin: "From Breaststrokes to Breasts-Tokes: How I Spent My Summer Olympics Vacation" by Michael Phelps." [Washington Post]...

CBS Desperate To Make PGA Tournaments More Interesting Until Tiger Comes Back
John Clayton was at the Super Bowl on Sunday, right? Then maybe it was a noisy leather chair. But it appears somebody on the CBS Golf crew ripped one during the FBR Open on Sunday....

Everything Stephen A. Smith Makes Up Is Important!
Stephen A. Smith's latest ESPN "scoop" is being met with catcalls and derision by its subject, Chris Bosh of the Toronto Raptors, and a Toronto Star reporter who called Smith an "entertainer."...

He Fought The Tow Truck And The Tow Truck Won
No sooner had Ohio State garnered some positive publicity than the Buckeyes were brought back to earth with the drunken, mischievous adventures of offensive lineman Alex Boone....

UConn Beats Louisville, Shakes Up The World!
In a tremendous upset that no one saw coming, a college basketball team manages to win a game immediately after becoming the No. 1 ranked team. We're through the looking glass, people. [ESPN]...

Is That What You're Going To Wear?
• The stripes are not slimming: The worst hockey sweaters of all time. Did you know the Montreal Canadiens were originally a prison team? [Fan IQ]...

Kobe Scores Madison Square Garden-Record 61 Against, Um, Wait A Minute ...
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]....