a Page 7712 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after finding out that your best one-legged femaile darts player used to be a man ... • College football: West Virginia at Colorado (8:30 p.m., ET). Wait, a Thursday night game at Colorado? What? [ESPN] • MLB: Chicago White Sox at New York Yankees (7 p.m., ET). Yankees as spoilers. Wha...

Cowboys Love Them Wide Open Spaces
We mentioned this in morning blogdome, but felt that it needed to be expanded. See what I did there? Scientists estimate that sometime in the future, perhaps a hundred years from now, the typical human ass will be wider than a Subaru Outback. In Texas, they're already getting close. As workers begin...

Buzz Bissinger Wants To Help You Find Somebody To Love
For those of us lucky enough to be Facebook friends with esteemed author and cantankerous blog-basher Buzz Bissinger, we were all treated with a special surprise in the last 10 minutes when it appeared Buzz had made the effort to write something on our walls. Not the case. It seems poor Buzz got Fac...

Topless Midget Wrestling Controversy Rocks Sleepy Illinois Community
When we allow the government to take away our right to watch tiny ladies wrestle topless, what's next? Will they take away our right to vote? To breathe? It happened in Canton, Illinois: as police were shocked to discover that a recent "midget wrestling event" took place at the Outskirts Bar & Grill...

Afternoon Blogdome: Yeah, That Headline Needs A Little Bit Of A Trim
• I see what you did there: Those crafty rapscallions in the editorial department at the Notre Dame Rivals site are either snickering right now or getting lambasted by the higher-ups. Charlie Weis will inevitably demand an apology. [The World Of Isaac] • Ed Vedder: Cubs fan, crooner: Not gonna lie, ...

The Death Of The Black Quarterback. Jamboroo, Week 3
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," released October 27th and featuring 100% new material, is available for pre-order here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK. Wi...

Possibly The Most Disturbing Baseball Hazing Photo You'll Ever See
This baseball hazing thing officially went too far on Wednesday, when San Diego Padres rookies were forced to dress as Hooters waitresses; with one there on the right completing the ensemble with fake breasts. God, I hope those are fake. Won't somebody think of the children??! So can anyone provide ...

Cubs Chase Old Man Off Their Lawn
Awhile ago we told you the story of Leo Hildebrand, the 104-year-old Cubs fan whose one big wish was to throw out the first pitch for a game at Wrigley Field. Of course he'd probably need a relay man, and a diaper change to complete the task. But still, how could the Cubs deny the only person in Chi...

Another Senseless Streaking Tragedy
Nathan Roberts is a player on the Virginia B Grade Australian soccer team, but is sidelined due to "fluid in his lungs, pneumonia and an inflamed liver and spleen." This didn't stop him from streaking at a recent match between United and Hummocks Watchman Eagles, however. Watch the fun here as Robe...

Excerpt: "Boys Will Be Boys" By Jeff Pearlman
"Boys Will Be Boys", Jeff Pearlman's fascinating account of the glory days of the Cowboys dynasty is making the media rounds this week and we will happily join in to promote it. It is ridiculously entertaining. Yes, Charles Haley is the star, but there is so much more to it than just his dong-flappi...

Could There Be A More Fitting Metaphor For The AL East Race?
Don't tase Boston's divisional title chances, bro! If this isn't a sign from the baseball gods that the race is over in the East, I don't know what is. This Red Sox fan tried to leap the dugout and run onto the field at the Trop on Wednesday, but was met with Epic Failure: security grabbed him, and ...

Reilly's Column Not Edited For Creepy Sleaziness, But For Out Of Touch Lameness
Yesterday, we received an email about Rick Reilly's latest column on America's chances in the upcoming Ryder Cup, where he gives a list of reasons as to how Paul Azinger's Tiger-less squad could actually win this year's event. It's the usual Reilly-on-golf effort (probably his strongest subject) and...

Ask Not What Tom Brady Can Do For You, Ask What You Can Do For Tom Brady
Excellent piece of satire this morning over at Blogging The Boys — and God, I hope it's satire — in which they write that the remainder of the 2008 NFL season will be officially played in honor of Tom Brady. I have to admit that I read half of it, then raced over to NFL.com to make sure it wasn't tr...

Who Is The Mystery Back-To-Back Homer Guy?
Eat your heart out, Zack Hample. I think it's safe to say that this unknown lad will be the only fan in the history of the old Yankee Stadium to catch home run balls on consecutive nights. Yes Network TV guys Michael Kay and Ken Singleton (I think) are all over the story, with video of the same fan ...

Morning Blogdome: Kirk Herbstreit Upset With "Tropic Thunder" Tan On Gameday Bus?
• He could use a little less color: I actually witnessed this last Saturday at the USC game. The picture of Herbstreit seemed to give his face a very mottled look, like the color was being changed right before your eyes. That's why this story seems somewhat plausible. [Busted Coverage] • Has LT peak...

Big Papi's Bed Will End Homelessness, Achieve Peace In The Middle East
I have always dreamed of sleeping in Big Papi's bed, but until now I never thought that it could become a reality. Now it's here; the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to own Big Papi's bed. I don't know for sure, but I imagine that sleeping there would be like nestling into a warm, comforting hug by t...

We're Collecting Your Yankee Stadium Stories
As you know, the final homestand ever in old Yankee Stadium began Saturday, as the team moves to a larger space next door — with unobstructed views from most seats! — in 2009. There have been several tributes already, and Bugs and Cranks came out with an anti-tribute today. But I'm sure that Deadspi...

Who Are You Again?, The Mets Actually Beat The Nats And A-Rod Thinks A-Rod Stunk
Each weekday morning Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed from the night before. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see with your coffee, shoot him an e-mail and let him know....

Tyler Thigpen Will Guide The Chiefs To Victory Right After He Finishes Making Gentle Back Door Love To This Skeleton
What better way to kick off your Wednesday evening then to have Chiefs' new starting quarterback Tyler Thigpen mock rear-entering a skeletal model. Maybe Coastal Carolina University had just recently generated enough funding to support a human anatomy class and he was just overly excited. Remember, ...

Eric Byrnes and Conor Jackson ... They're Cops!
The Diamondbacks are still working hard to market Eric Byrnes as the funny, freewheeling surfer dude who just happens to play baseball for $10 mil a year. Thus we have The Eric Byrnes Show, which is carried on FSN Arizona. A recent promotion for the show proves that it may be more entertaining than ...