a Page 7726 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It's Melanie Hain's Turn To Bring The Team Snacks When She Says It Is
"I know what you're thinking; "Did she give me six orange wedges, or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. So you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?" A Lebanon, Pa. woman had her concealed-weapons permit revo...
Nation Stunned By Brazen Kidnapping Of Keggy The Dartmouth Keg
Order has only begun to be be restored to the peaceful tree-lined streets of Hanover, New Hampshire today after the shocking kidnapping ordeal suffered by Keggy, the popular Dartmouth College beer keg. The quasi-official school mascot was ruthlessly abducted and held for ransom over the weekend, and...
Hard-Nosed Boxer Will Perform His Own Surgery, Thank You Very Much
There's tough, there's boxer tough, and then there's Keyser Soze "shoot your family in the face to prove you value nothing" tough. Then there's cruiserweight fighter Juan Carlos Robles. After putting his motorcycle in a ditch, Robles recovered from a broken right kneecap, a dislocated right elbow, a...
Afternoon Blogdome: Lisa Guerrero Will Take All Your Jobs
What hath T.J. Simers wrought?: Lisa Guerrero: Model, actress, reporter ... sports blogger. We think our work is done here. [SbB] That's older than John McCain, BTW: Hall-of-Famer Ernie Banks and his wife have adopted a 1-week-old baby. Ernie Banks is 77. That means when the child is graduating from...
The Person Most Troubled By Chris Cooley's Playbook Package? Mom, Of Course
It's a shame that we missed this earlier, but with the enormous amount of Chris Cooley dong-related news floating around out there the last couple weeks, some of it was carelessly overlooked. Including this interesting story from Monday, where the Washington Post's Mike Wise approached the Cooley fa...
Detroit Tigers' Season Cruelly Refuses To End
Despite what the calendar says, the Detroit Tigers called off their season weeks ago. They've won 5 games this month. They've lost 12 of their last 13, given six in a row to the Indians and Royals, their closer has already retired, Gary Sheffield is sharpening knives in his basement, and despite leg...
Your Week 4 Jamboroo, Featuring Home Brewed Beer, RBBC Vultures, Sugar, Trader Joe’s, Cheap Trick, Bar Mitzvahs, And Gratuitous Cleavage
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," released October 27th and featuring 100% new material, is available for pre-order here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK. No...
Shocking Development In Idaho Cheerleading Controversy
Cassie Helm, the Idaho State cheerleading coach whose squad was ordered to tone down their uniforms because they were wee a might too revealing, has resigned in a fit of selfless protest. Last week, you may recall, the Vandals' cheerleaders were ordered out of their skimpy outfits by campus administ...
As A Writer, ESPN's Rob Neyer Thinks Todd Jones Is No Doug Glanville
Recently retired reliever Todd Jones is getting a nice send-off by most players, fans and beat writers for his many years of baseball service and overall good-guyness. And despite his many shaky late-inning outings, Jones will retire as the Tigers all-time saves leader. Jones also made a name for hi...
Were The Mariners About To Issue A Code Red On Ichiro?
This comes as news to me, but then I haven't followed the Mariners very closely since, well, ever; and that includes the years I lived in Seattle. Apparently Ichiro Suzuki is so unpopular with his teammates that several of them got together earlier in the season and planned how they were going to "g...
Thursday Night Football Primer: USC Prepares To Crush Oregon State
Give ESPN credit for Thursday night college football. In the beginning the Thursday night slate was awful. Rarely, if ever, would good teams play against other decent teams. It was the bottom of the college football barrel. Then teams started to recognize the value in monopolizing the nation's atte...
Football Game Called On Account Of Ants?
It's clear that the powers of Nightmare Ant are still not fully understood. For instance, apparently he has the ability to command his minions to ruin any sporting event he chooses. Swarm, my pretties! Swarm! A football game scheduled at Rialto High School ii Calif., was canceled recently when a col...
On The Beach With Baron Davis And Mrs. Fantastic
So, is Baron Davis' Jenny Craig diet working? You be the judge. Perhaps Jessica Alba can dispense weight-loss tips (she had a baby in June). Here they are cavorting last week in Cabo — Jessica's in the towel — as Davis prepares for the NBA preseason which begins Oct. 5 against the Hornets. This phot...
The Mets Take One Step Closer To Inevitable Implosion
This is going to be an interesting, rain-soaked weekend in baseball for the Northeast's playoff-challenged teams. Last night's Mets loss was just...wow. After switching over to ESPN to watch the game once the Phillies got completely waxed by the Braves, I was fully prepared to root for the Bastard M...
Meanwhile, Down At The Arlington DMV ...
Sunday night can't get here soon enough for Washington Redskins fans, one of whom slipped this little gem past the ever-vigilant profanity watchdogs at his local Department of Motor Vehicles. The plates on his other car say "Assman." Elsewhere, noting that Terrell Owens is not in the NFL top 10 in e...
Morning Blogdome: Jinx? What Jinx?
• Is it destiny? Or fate-tempting?: Given the superstitious nature of Cubs' fans, it seems a little odd that images of these tickets would be released this early. But every Cubs' fan seems completely confident that this — this— is the year. If they do lose in the NLDS or NLCS, well, this will be fit...
Celebrating the End Of The Millen-ium
Of all the Matt Millen farewell "tributes" we've come across this morning, Tirico Suave's video compilation, shown immediately following the jump, has to be the most intricate and heartfelt (make sure the volume is turned down if you're at work). Featuring not one, but two clips from Glengarry Glen ...
Kimbo Tries To Kill David Blaine, Plax's Appeal And Mets Fans Take Another Step Closer To The Ledge
Each weekday morning Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed from the night before. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see with your coffee, shoot him an e-mail and let him know....
Matt Millen: Lonely Man With A Lawnmower
After a few hours of cautious speculation about Matt Millen's removal, it was finally revealed that Detroit Lions' owner William Clay Ford did actually have to fire him in the early hours of Tuesday morning. The Detroit Free Press has a surprisingly mesmerizing photo retrospective titled "The Matt M...
Stephon Marbury Will Save The Knicks, Nurture Mother Earth
The quote machine that is Stephon Marbury sat down with News 4 New York's Bruce Beck in the backyard of Marbury's Westchester home earlier today and discussed his future with the New York Knicks. Marbury was trying to make the point that he's ready to be a steadying influence on the team, and not, y...