a Page 7762 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

No Way Will The Cubs Blow It This Time ... Uh Oh
Time to worry: When your team has lost four straight at home during the stretch run of the division race. Time to really worry: When your manager says "If he can pitch, he'll pitch. If he can't, we'll put Sean Marshall in the rotation." Those words of wisdom were spoken by Lou Piniella, after Carlos...

Morning Blogdome: Aussie Golfer Anna Rawson's Just Not That Into Women
• She just wants to pee standing up: "I could never be with a woman, because I'm just fascinated by what men can do with their bodies that we can't." She says this loudly, as if she's often asked about the lesbian subculture that exists in her line of work — professional golf. Then she leans in cons...

Note To Self: Do Not Let Tatum Bell Check My Luggage
Running back Rudi Johnson had no sooner arrived in Detroit on Monday than he lost his luggage; not at the airport like God intended, but outside of CEO Matt Millen's office in the Detroit Lions locker room. While Johnson was in Millen's office working out details of a one-year deal with the team, he...

Hi Sexy, Tressel Didn't Hear Any Fancy Words And Some Baseball Highlights
Each weekday morning Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed from the night before. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see with your coffee, shoot him an e-mail and let him know....

Buzz Bissinger Seems To Have Finally Spun Himself Out
One of the most fascinating transformations that may have taken place since the Costas Now eruption is the progresive softening of one Buzz Bissinger. It seemed for a while that Buzz was actually determined to make his hatred of sports blogs an inextricable part of his writing legacy. For every inte...

It Shoulda Been You, Bud Selig
Coming soon through Pendant Publishing, the autobiographical thriller: I Was Locked In the Loo: The Giovanni Cobolli Gigli Story. What do you do when you're afraid your league president is being uncooperative? Lock him in the restroom, of course. Oh soccer, you're so cute. (For the record, I tried t...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while deciding between pliers and a wrench ... • MLB: Houston at Chicago Cubs (8 p.m., ET). Carlos Zambrano rocks the chin whiskers. [WGN] • Tennis: U.S. Open, men's fourth round and women's quarterfinals, at New York (7 p.m., ET). The only sport that features balls in a can. [USA] • M...

Tiger Woods' Knee Injury Did Not Hinder His Baby-Making Ability
Those of you wondering when Tiger Woods and his wife Elin will populate the world with another Swedecaublasian can stop: late winter. Woods made the blessed announcement on his personal website, which he's updated more frequently due to his season-ending surgery as either a way to continuously keep ...

A Little Olympics Snafu Down In The Control Room. Push The Button, Frank
One of my favorite Mystery Science Theater 3000 lines came during the movie City on Fire, when, as a woman is gong into labor, Crow T. Robot yells: "Get a catcher's mitt!" It's hard to believe that it's been eight years since MST3K was canceled on the SciFi channel; but for about four hours during t...

Afternoon Blogdome: Jenn Sterger Would Never Do Anything So Demeaning
• She just keeps talking: "I have never auditioned for reality tv. I have met with producers regarding opportunities but you know what? My life is not a hot enough mess for them. They need so much more drama…than my life is…I don’t have this psychological disorder resume to get on one of those shows...

Bringing Democracy to the World of Combudsmanning
To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, Commenting Guru Rob Iracane will write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week. Mr. Iracane, co-proprietor of the brilliant Walkoff Walk , is also the guy who approves comments ...

UCF Conference Call Takes a Detour Through Phone Sex Line
Fresh off a 17-0 victory over South Carolina State, the University of Central Florida set up a conference call with Notre Dame coach for a day, George O'Leary. Which would have been great. Except the released number was one-digit off and was actually a phone sex line. Uh oh. Cue the intrepid report...

NASCAR's Tony Stewart Makes Sure The Girls Are 18
There won't be a better profile of an athlete written this year. Of course that's assuming you think racecar drivers are athletes. But even if you don't, you need to read this Rolling Stone story on NASCAR's Tony Stewart. Just a few of the details: Stewart used to travel with a pet monkey on his pr...

The Beijing Bureau Says Goodbye
The Olympics have ended, yet our three young lads who dutifully covered them for Deadspin for the past month are still there. They've requested a farewell post. Here it is. Things are pretty quiet here at the Bureau now that the Olympics have (mercifully) ended. Media organizations around the world ...

Barack Isn't the Only Baller In This Race
Barack Obama has gotten plenty of attention for his love of basketball, but it's worth noting that the GOP Veep candidate was a bit of a baller back in the day. Sarah Palin (nee Heath) was known as "Sarah Barracuda" (barracudas being the most tenacious on-ball defenders in the ocean) while captaini...

Do Not Mock The Power Of The Taco
In case you haven't noticed, we're into September and the Tampa Bay Rays are still in first place in the AL East. This is no longer a joke, people; they could actually win this thing. The Red Sox relegated to the wild card race? The Yankees, out of the playoffs entirely? How did this happen? The Ray...

Levi Johnston's Demon Hockey Seed Complicates Matters For GOP
John McCain's unpredictably odd but glamorous-looking choice for Vice President dazzled the media on Friday, but the case for Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin isn't looking as crafty a decision anymore. Most of the controversy stems from Palin's 17-year-old daughter, Bristol, tiny eskimo in the ovenand the ...

A Tale Of Two Cycles
I guess Stephen Drew isn't a big name, except for writers of slash fiction. All he did on Monday was hit for the cycle, and AP called him Scott Drew (11th graph). Later Monday, Adrian Beltre also hit for the cycle. What are odds of two players hitting for the cycle on the same day? About the same as...

Sooners Rumble Like It's 1958
Anyone who monitors police scanners — I'm talking to you, Iracane — knows those five little words that will cause you to grab your coat and run out to your car: "Knives, guns and tire irons." They are the Iron Chef ingredients of a delicious bar fight, as was witnessed in Norman, Okla., on Saturday ...

Rick Neuheisel Takes the Mic After UCLA-Tennessee And Pours Salt In the Wounds
It's one thing for your team to lose right in front of you. Trust me, I've had plenty of experience with that. Quite another for the opposing coach to take the mic and verbally disembowel you before you've even been able to leave the stadium after an overtime game. Rick Neuheisel pulls it off. Imme...