a Page 7814 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Lacrosse Cheerleaders Gotta Keep A Heads Up
You might have wondered why Major League Lacrosse would possibly need cheerleaders. Wonder no longer: Major League Lacrosse needs cheerleaders so they can be hit in the face by errant shots. Duh....
Yankees Officially The Hottest Team In Baseball. Discuss
Joba Chamberlain pitched well, but didn't get the decision. Alex Rodriguez singled in the go-ahead run. Derek Jeter, his pillow wet from tears, was 2-for-3 with a run scored. The Yankees beat the Padres 2-1 on Thursday for their seventh straight win — New York's longest winning streak of the season...
Wherefore Art Thou, Ronaldo?
Vasco da Gama has dropped his astrolabe....
Bloggers Are Half Joe Camel, A Third Fonzarelli
The Boston Phoenix ran a story this week — complete with Simmons quotes! — about that whole mainstream sports reporters vs. bloggers business that we are extremely looking forward to being over. There has already been a ton of discussion about it, but we're not going to get into that this morning b...
About Last Night
What you missed while realizing that you can't go more than six months without seeing this video ... • MLB: Mariners fire John McLaren, promise more housecleaning; won't be satisfied until Ichiro is left standing on field by himself. • Beijing Olympics: Dwyane Wade to be named to U.S. Olympic basket...
Romany Malco Homosexualizes Himself For The Greater Good Of The NHL
Romany Malco, better known as the black guy from "The 40 Year Old Virgin", is apparently an ardent hockey fan and what a more appropriate way to show off his hockey geekdom than by talking with Deadspin's former puckheaded savant Greg Wyshynski. Malco does have an interesting theory on how the NHL ...
To Watch Tonight
What you're not going to watch because you're not grounded after all ... • College World Series: LSU vs. North Carolina, in Omaha (7 p.m., ET). Two teams enter, one team leaves. Who run Bartertown? [ESPN] • Major League Lacrosse: Washington at Boston (7:30 p.m., ET). Well, another Boston pro sports ...
San Francisco Columnist Condemns Tiger's Idiocracy
Maybe it was time for one writer to stop slobbering over Tiger Woods' U.S. Open victory, but San Franciso Gate columnist Gwen Knapp appears to have gone a little overboard with her contrarianism. In her column titled " A golfing genius takes a dumb step", Knapp just levels Eldrick for his outright s...
Philadelphia's Continuing Misguided Hatred Of J.D. Drew
J.D. Drew's play on the field this past week did nothing to keep Philadelphians from mercilessly, lustily booing him the last couple days, but even if he went 0-for-20 and caught a baby falling from the stands at Citizens Bank Park, he'd still hear it, just 'cuz. Drew, as you may recall, became a ...
There's A Nice Man In A Suit At The Door Who Would Like To Talk To You, Mr. Fielder
Do you owe back taxes you can't pay? Don't let the IRS freeze your bank account, or threaten your job. Call the law offices of Moskowitz and Moskowitz and let our tax experts show you a way to settle your IRS problems for pennies on the dollar. Run and hide, and face jail, or call us today. Vegetari...
Congratulations, Kid. You've Been Drafted.
Tomorrow night in Ottawa, dozens of kids too young to legally drink will be drafted by professional hockey franchises willing to devote time, effort, and a boatload of money to turning them into Stanley Cup Champions. The NHL Draft will kick off Friday, and for that, we turn to Melt Your Face-Off, w...
Racewalking Is Serious Business
Of all the weird events at the Olympics coming up, our favorite is speedwalking. (It's actually called racewalking.) They look so goofy!...
Offend Lance Armstrong, And Face The Consequences
The hatred so many people in the cycling world have for Lance Armstrong once seemed a little bewildering to us outsiders. The guy beat cancer! He's the only reason anyone has ever cared about cycling! He pisses off the French! What's not to like? And then he started dating Kate Hudson and jogging wi...
Justin Gimelstob: Tennis Shlub, Sound Bite Provocateur
Who is Justin Gimelstob, you ask? Great question. He is a former pro tennis player now kicking around on the World Team Tennis, as a player for the Washington Kastles. He's also a writer for SI.com, which is more than enough reason for Bog king Dan Steinberg to get some hilariously candid quotes fro...
Long Beach Armada Pulling Out All The Stops For The Plumber
It's time once again for the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Award-winning series Minor Enterprise, where we extol the virtues of minor league baseball, its promotions, and the women who love them....
Tiger Woods, Barack Obama, Tim Russert And The Primal Urge To Live Through History
This is BALLS DEEP With Drew Magary (Balls® is a registered trademark and has been used with the expressed written consent of AJ Daulerio). It's gonna be like an SI Point After column, only with dick jokes. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100 percent all-new material, is available her...
What Now, Lakerland?
• The Lakers have a lot of thinking to do. [Rumors And Rants] • A triple away from the cycle is quite far, actually. [wrigleyville23] • Sidney Ponson returns! [King Of Cartoons] • The scariest great outfielder. [PSAMP] • This is not a fun way to spend the US Open. [OutSports] • Switch hitting in cri...
Javon Walker's Las Vegas Bludgeoning Won't Result In Any Missed Time
Although the details of what in Wayne Newton happened to Raiders' receiver Javon Walker early Monday morning are still being investigated, he has been released from the hospital and it appears the orbital smashing he received won't , according to Raiders' coach Lane Kiffin, keep him out of training...
Media Approval Ratings: John Feinstein
The first time we ever read a book that had the word fuck in it was in John Feinstein's Season On The Brink. Bobby Knight liked to say that word a lot. It was also the first time we had seen the c-word. We were 14 years old....
The Nets Are Pulling Out All The Promotional Stops
Well, we suppose this was inevitable. Now that the Nets have lost Jason Kidd and look like they're not going to be particularly compelling until they get to Brooklyn — just a mile or so from our apartment! — they've breaking out the big promotional guns: cheap gas!...