a Page 7859 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Guys And Dolls: Floyd, White Sox Back On Top
The inflatable sex doll community was shocked on Tuesday night when Chicago's Gavin Floyd once again lost a no-hitter in the late going; giving up a double to the Twins' Joe Mauer with one out in the ninth. (Inset: "Nooooo!"). Bobby Jenks came on to get the final two outs in the White Sox's 7-1 vic...

Baby's First Breathalyzer Exam: Priceless
One of the reasons I don't attend many minor league baseball games in Tennessee: All the drunken babies. It's the Chattanooga Lookouts' popular Half Price Beer Night For Babies promotion, in which anyone two or younger can get completely hammered under the close supervision of team mascot Looie the ...

Merciful God Answers Prayers, Ends Game 1 Of Cavs-Celts Series
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who woke up this morning without Internet access and had to rush off to a Caribou Coffee, where the "free WiFi hotspot" actually cost him a bag of Deep River potato chips. When he's not finding a way to do his Deadspin column at the last second, he can be fo...

About Last Night
What you missed while at a stop sign ... • NBA: LeBron makes two key baskets against Celtics. Unfortunately, he missed his other 16 shots. Boston 76, Cleveland 72. • MLB: Diamondbacks' Randy Johnson somehow gets all of his surgically enhanced body parts to work in unision to earn 6-4 win over Philli...

Kitchen Oak-idential
I think it's fair to say that Charles Oakley is one of the more terrifying and intimidating men on the planet. That's why it's probably a no brainer that a penne-penised Food Network producer would probably have a tough time turning down a cooking show featuring him. But the New York Post reported a...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after giving acupuncture to Portland ... • NBA: Eastern Conference semifinals, Game 1, Cleveland at Boston (8:15 p.m., ET). Now it gets interesting. Papa John's Pizza, anyone? [TNT] • MLB: Indians at Yankees (7:10 p.m., ET). Drew Carey approves. [WKYC] [Yes Network] • Movie: Batman Beg...

NBA Playoffs: A Tuesday Night Viewer's Guide
Ah, sweet Tuesday...still 20 percent better than Monday. Basketbawful is here to help you celebrate that fact and disentagle all those thoughts you thought you had about tonight's Cavs-Celtics game....

Heidi Watney Makes It Through Her First Night Unscathed
Heidi Watney, much ballyhooed as the new NESN reporter of record for her, well, her Watney-ness, had her first on-air duties last night as the Red Sox talking lady of record. Red Sox bloggers all gave her passing grades for her first night's work....

Perfect Game
One of John Challis' final wishes was to get to bat in a high school baseball game. Challis, an 18-year-old senior at Freedom High School in Pennsylvania, is dying of cancer. Doctors say he might have as little as two months to live. But on April 14 he got his wish; getting an at-bat in a league ga...

Annoying Superhuman Lawyer-To-Be Makes Life More Difficult For The Rest Of Us
This weekend, we went to a Derby Day party and a friend's 30th birthday, ate way too much food and kind of spent our Sunday afternoon on the couch watching old episodes of "Lost" and trying to recuperate. (We're still not quite there yet, and it's Tuesday.) Weekends like that are why people like Dan...

GSTF Tour Returns ... In Milwaukee!
Well, in all the hullabaloo of the last week, we'd almost forgotten: We have a reading in Milwaukee this week! It had slipped past us, what with all the dumbing-down of America....

Betting On The NBA Draft Lottery. Really.
We are but a mere two weeks from the NBA Draft Lottery, in which we discover what poor budding NBA superstar is shuttled off to Madison Square Garden. If you can't wait to see what happens, or if you just don't find the shuffling of ping-pong balls as thrilling as perhaps you should, worry not. Now ...

When The Horses Unite, All Will Fall
No longer will the horses stand idly by while we whip them into submission and destroy their ankles and other important pivots. The rebellion has begun. We attempted to warn you. But you arrogant human beings did not listen....

Ten Years Since Wood's Amazing Game
We love reminders of just how old we really are. Newsweek informed us that it has been 10 years since "Seinfeld" went off the hair air, which is just jaw-dropping, when you think about it. But that's nothing like Friends Of The Program's revelation: It has been 10 years since Kerry Wood's 20-strikeo...

Even Joe Posnanski Gets Yelled At
Being a sports reporter is, at times, an absolutely horrible job. Sure you get to watch games, travel and interact with athletes, but there is a horrendous downside. (Which is pretty much everything else.) And this is never more disturbingly clear than when a reporter has their first (or 50th) awful...

Round Up The Usual Suspects
• So, who DID rob Rashard Mendenhall? [Blogimore Ravens] • The Knicks need them some Beasley. [Gotham's Clubhouse] • Sorry: Cleveland will still be depressed even if the Cavs win the NBA title. [Slam Dunk Central] • Weird hockey fans. [Joe Sports Fan] • As if you needed a reminder, nobody knows noth...

Even A-Rod's Wife Questions Her Husband's Masculinity
It's tough for most of us to watch those "Miracle of Life" shows where they give you the full access to what it's really like to watch someone have a baby. After viewing it, you soon realize that even the most gruesome horror movies showing a screeching alien ejecting itself out of a person's stom...

Free Darko On Boston-Cleveland
We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko. Here's Free Darko's look at the Boston Celtics-Cleveland Cavaliers series. Your author is Dr. Lawyer IndianChief....

Media Approval Ratings: Norman Chad
First off, don't get our own Rick Chandler started on poker analyst and "comedy" columnist Norman Chad. You really don't want to know....

White Sox Locker Room Is Not A Safe Environment For Women, Real Or Inflatable
Ozzie Guillen and the White Sox are now in the midst of being criticized (again) by some sports writers and the Association For Women In Sports Media for their creative blow-up doll, slump-busting shrine. The Association said said the shrine creates an "uncomfortable" environment for female sports w...