a Page 7864 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It's Always Casual Monday With John Daly
When you're John Daly, you don't have to work particularly hard for media attention. And once you have that media attention, there's no real need to fancy yourself up for it; you're John Daly, dammit! Shoot, you don't even have to put on a danged shirt....
Media Approval Ratings: Michael Wilbon
Watching the NBA Playoffs the last week or so, it's clear Michael Wilbon has appropriately recovered from his mild heart attack last January. And did you know that his wife gave birth just two months later? Nice work, Wilbon!...
Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His
The best story from yesterday's five rounds of the NFL Draft has to be that of Demetrius Bell, an offensive lineman out of Northwestern State drafted by the Buffalo Bills. He's the son of former Mexican-girl-chasing NBA superstar Karl Malone. Not that either Malone or Bell is particularly happy abou...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Elisha Cuthbert Needs to Get Back Together With Sean Avery — For Everyone's Sake
The NHL Closer is written by the five Masters of Their Universe over at Melt Your Face Off. When not trying to fix the damn trap door in their Castle Grayskull, they can be found debating whether Teela or the Sorceress would have been the easier lay....
Reviewing The NFL Draft, As If Anybody Knows Anything
Some "experts" — you know, the people who decide who did a great job in a draft mere hours after it was completed and before, uh, anyone so much as puts on more than a hat — were up on the New England Patriots' selections at the NFL Draft this weekend. We couldn't tell you, but we did love any and a...
So Let Me Introduce To You, The One And Only Jimmy Shields ...
There's no way to sugarcoat this so I'm just going to say it: We live in a world where the Rays and the Marlins are both in first place. It's a world where James Shields outpitches Josh Beckett, where Sweet Caroline is played at Tropicana Field, and where Manny Ramirez is stealing bases. Me no like ...
You'll Never Believe What Happened Yesterday (Actually, You Probably Will)
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, would like the springtime weather to actually reach Chicago. It can happen any time now. When he's not ruing unseasonably low temperatures in the midwest, he can be found trying to warm his hands at Basketbawful. Enjoy! The Maverick meltdown: Will it ever e...
Roger Clemens, 15-Year-Old Country Singers, OxyContin, Stolen Trucks And You
You might have thought Roger Clemens would have done just about everything he could possibly do to destroy his reputation over the last few months. Showing up in the Mitchell Reporter, crashing and burning in his last start as a Yankee, looking like a fool in front of Congress. What could be worse t...
About Last Night
What you missed while ordering Chinese food and being put on hold ... • NHL: Apparently there's diving in hockey. Who knew? Penguins 2, Rangers 0. • NBA: Mavericks about to make first-round playoff exit for the second straight year. It's sad, really. • MLB: Hey, who woke up Carlos Delgado? Mets 6, B...
Instead of Combat, Caleb Campbell Heading To The Lions. So, Yay?
Safety Caleb Campbell was the first nonkicker from Army ever invited to take part in the NFL combine. If he didn't get drafted, he would probably be serving as a second lieutenant in Iraq or Afghanistan by year's end. But Campbell was drafted in the 7th round. By the Detroit Lions. Bit of a Pyrrhic ...
Scouts, Inc. Would Like You TO RELAX
Ian from Sox & Dawgs sends over this screengrab of a tetchy exchange during ESPN's draft chat. What could Samantha in Atlanta be so interested in finding out? Determining how screwed the Falcons are with Matty Ice? Whether Al Horford can transfer his anger to the game of football?...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while equipping your phone with a rape whistle......
Momma Werth Just Don't Know
The Slanch Report caught Orestes Destrade getting a little distracted during the replay of the Phillies-Brewers contest on Thursday's Baseball Tonight. The objet du distraction: Jayson Werth's mother,....
"Big Dick Bandit" Now A Raven
In case you thought the departure of Brian Billick would bring a new age of sterling character to the Baltimore Ravens, you are most definitely wrong. Among the more interesting second day picks came with two of the Baltimore Ravens' three 3rd round picks. With the 7th pick of the third round, they ...
Roger Federer Will Silence Your Family
During the semi-final match of the Monte Carlo Masters yesterday between Roger Federer and Novak Djokovic, Djokovic's family disputed a call, whereupon the top ranked player in the world told them to shut their fucking yaps, except he was a little more polite about it. Djokovic later pulled out of t...
A Kiper-McShay Draft Day Hair Trade
The shocking Mel Kiper-Todd McShay follicle swap [The Sports Hernia]...
Bron-Shawn Basketball Beef Gets Hip-Hop Glaze
With Game 4 of the Wizards-Cavs series about to tip off in the Verizon Center comes the news via The Washington Post's (Boooooooo!) Wizards Insider blog that the overcooked rivalry between LeBron James and DeShawn Stevenson has extended into the hip-hop arena. It all started with Queen James waving ...
Kerwin Danley Takes His Umply Lumps
Home plate umpire and crew chief Kerwin Danley took a 96 mph Brad Penny fastball to the jaw in the 4th inning of the Dodgers 11-3 win over the Rockies last night. The game was delayed 18 minutes and Danley had to be taken off the field in an ambulance. A Dodgers spokesman said Danley lost consciousn...
Welcome To Quitsville, Population: 12
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is becoming increasingly grumpy as the playoffs continue. When he's ruing losses by his favorite teams and wins by the teams he hates, he can be found sulking at Basketbawful. Enjoy! The Nuggets have officially become the French army. They meekly surren...