ad Page 1531 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Oddly Enough, Married Athletes Are Still Foolin' Around
And here I thought Steve McNair's death would eradicate unfaithfulness among sports figures, the same way Charles Barkley's DUI was the last one of those to ever happen....
Actually, All Tennis Looks Like This On A Sunday Morning
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Arturo Gatti Reported Killed In Brazil (Update)
Arturo "Thunder" Gatti, one of the most entertaining boxer of the decade, is being reported murdered in Brazil at the age of 37. Tracking, obviously. Sadly true. [Google Translator/CBC]...
Mad Dog Goes Rabid, Needs To Be Put Down (SECOND UPDATE)
What can only be described as one of sports talk radio's most epic meltdowns happened two days ago. But since it happened on satellite radio, nobody knows a got-dang thing about it....
Yeah, But You Still Have To Live In Pennsylvania
Quaker staters, use your hand to shield your eyes from your three championship trophies, together for the first time. And take your other hand out of your pants. [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]...
Nice, But He Still Gets An Asterisk For Doing It Against The Padres
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Teammate Is Totally Undermining Lance Armstrong
Alberto Contador unexpectedly moved into second, and the Tour de France suddenly went all Brandy vs. Monica. Lance: "Things didn't really go according to the plan we mapped out before. I was a little surprised, but it doesn't matter." [AFP]...
Why Your Stadium Sucks: Oriole Park At Camden Yards
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: Oriole Park at Camden Yards....
The One Where Jay Mariotti Shows Off His Formidable Lady-Killing Technique
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....
Tom Brady Has No Pity For Panhandling Fools
Not all panhandlers are drunks and bums. Some are just convicted bank robbers who happen to owe Tom Brady — yes, that one — a good chunk of change for tucking and running away with two flower planters....
Ochocinco's Forebearer Is... Justin Gimelstob?
Chad Ochocinco — né Johnson, he of no further introduction — and Justin Gimelstob, he of middling tennis stature, have more in common than what hits the eye. Actually, they really don't. But they both... like Twitter?...
Mother Nature Does not Appreciate Your Ironic Sports
A sad day in the annals of hipster athletics, as a 23 year old Brooklynite was unceremoniously pancaked by a falling tree limb during a game of dodgeball. Time to start thinking of the perfect post-modern tattoo to commemorate....
Rich Eisen Thanks You For Your Concern About His Horninesss
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Chad Ochocinco Tweets By His Own Rules
Ochocinco: "I'm using Twitter during games." NFL: No, you're not. Ochocinco: "Damn NFL and these rules, I am going by my own set of rules, I ain't hurting nobody or getting in trouble, I am putting my foot down!!" [PFT]...
Now It's Aaron Sorkin's Turn To Fail At Writing A <em>Moneyball</em> Script
Columbia has enlisted Sorkin, the sanctimonious West Wing creator last seen making Ed Asner say "Macau" over and over, to write a draft of the star-crossed Moneyball script. Such waste. Such inefficiency. Somebody could write a bestselling book about this....
Finding Mustachioed Men In St. Louis Will Win You All-Star Game Tickets
The All-Star Game is rife with "bare-faced mortals," so the American Mustache Institute — bless their whiskers — is sponsoring a so-called Stache Dash. Find playing cards of mustachioed legends, win bleacher seats. No facial hair necessary. [AMI]...
<em>Tennessean</em> Brings Out The Dead, Asks About Exciting New Line Of Restaurants
Here's the front page of the Tennessean's weekly Davidson A.M. edition, which is one of those zoned supplements that go yellow on your lawn and contain nothing but Zales ads and the occasional fluffy interview with a dead person....
Hypospadias And You: An In-Depth Study Of Bong Dick
I live in the DC area and I have a baby boy, so it's only natural that scientists have now discovered that DC drinking water might be deforming baby boy's genitals. WOOHOO!...
Where Is The Brotherly Love?
Just when race relations in the United States seemed all hunky-dory — welcome to the White House, Mr. President — a swim club in Philadelphia kicks out 60 minority campers because they would "change the complexion" of the club....
Swoosh Denies LBJ Dunk Cover-Up, Unconvincingly
The flash, apparently official: Nike is now making the implausible case that the two hapless videographers at the LeBron James Skills Academy had flouted a longstanding, super-inviolate "no videotaping" commandment and therefore had to be frisked....