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New Miracle Bat Probably Illegal In This Solar System
Reebok's new Vector-O baseball bat uses special alloys (adamantium?) and speed holes to help you make the cover of Sports Illustrated for your Hulk-like home run blasts. Also doubles as a harmonica. [Uncrate]...

$94 Million Just Ain't What It Used To Be
The world's financial oblivion has affected some sports clubs worse than others. Perhaps Real Madrid giving AC Milan $94 million to take their best player will clue you in on who the haves and have nots are....

These Ladies Were Actually 35-Years-Old At The Start Of Sunday's Padres/Diamondbacks Game
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Ha Ha ... Tom Brady Fell Out Of A Boat
World's Fanciest Human can't even row a kayak down the Charles River without needing to be rescued from knee-deep water! What's that? Still a good-looking, supermodel-having NFL quarterback? Well....at least I didn't fall out of a boat! [Boston Herald]...

Ninjas Responsible For The Death Of David Carradine?
So says Carradine's attorney, Mark Geragos, who told the NY Post there might be some foul play involved. Geragos was contacted by other media outlets about his ninja theory, but he was immediately banned from commenting any further...[DListed]...

Sean McAdam Is Not A Fan Of Julio Lugo's Defense
"Francona would be wise to lower his expectations with Lugo....The next base hit Lugo takes away will be the first. Seldom has an infielder thrown himself on the ground more and come up with fewer plays." [Boston Herald]...

Jimmy Johnson: A Lovable Scamp Just Dancing Through Life
KSK spotlights this Le Batard column detailing the silver-haired coach's quest to live life like a Jimmy Buffet song. Pirate party next week at JJ's! [KSK]...

This Is Why You Can't Have Two Horses Named After A Bird Run In The Belmont
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Deadspin Meets Its Downfall
Of all the numerous public outbursts, blog posts, angry emails, and suicide comments borne out of last week's "brief, shady announcement," the video put together by ex-pat commenter Chad Sexington is at least very entertaining....

Maybe This Is What Threw Off Brad Lidge Last Night
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Bald Eagles Support The Preservation Of Tiger Stadium
Days after a commission ordered the destruction of Tiger Stadium and just hours after the wrecking crew rolled in, a court ordered a temporary halt until Monday, when the whole matter will return to court. Oh, Detroit. [Free Press]...

And Now, My Michael Jordan Impression
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Sex, Lies, And Zionism
So long Deadspin. The anorexic Jewish James Spader must now run off to his weekend gig—selling counterfeit menorahs on the street in exchange for methadone....

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Nationals Park
This is a new weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: Nationals Park...

A Night On The Town With Alex Rios
Alex Rios was 0-for-5 last night with 5 strikeouts. Oops. Obviously, the only logical response was to wait outside a charity event so you can heckle him on the way to his car....

Adam LaRoche Is A F&*#ing Soldier
The Pirates first baseman on this week's Nate McLouth deal: "It's kind of like being with your platoon in a battle, and guys keep dropping around you." Kellen Winslow adds: "We don't care about nobody except this P." [ESPN]...

NBA.com - The Game Happens Here
Check out the most extensive Playoff coverage, in depth highlights, up to date scores, stats and schedules from the post season. NBA.com - The Game Happens Here....

The One Where Bill Self Gets Feisty
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Blazer Girl To The Rescue: Hello, Deadspin
Meet Blazer Girl. Her name's Cathryn White, and she's a senior at Oregon. She's here to judge how you support your teams. If you spot fans embarrassing themselves by wearing ridiculously awful team gear let her know. Rip City, baby....

Justine Bateman Was NOT Roman Polanski’s Hot Tub Victim
This week's second Deadcast guest is actress, producer, and avid tumblr, uh, er, Justine Bateman....