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Randy Moss To The Patriots. We Still Don't Believe It.
As we await the inevitable Bill Simmons column about this — Five Tool Tool goes ahead and sums it up for us — we continue to watch our mind boggle over the notion of Randy Moss playing for the Patriots. We've never found Moss as annoying as, say, Terrell Owens, but he's hardly what we think of when ...
You Can't Stop Barbaro, You Can Only Hope To Put Him Down
Expect, in the next week, Madison Square Garden to be haunted by the ghost of a rather pissed Barbaro; the overtime in the Rangers-Sabres game yesterday caused the Barbaro documentary to be postponed and rescheduled for the vastly unworthy CNBC this Friday. Jeez, why don't you just put the damned th...
We're Back From The Snack Bar; What'd We Miss?
We here at Deadspin are proud to announce our first unassisted triple play. We're so proud. Colorado shortstop Troy Tulowitzki worked the magic against the Braves in the seventh inning of a tie game on Sunday. With runners on first and second, Tulowitzki caught Chipper Jones' line drive, then steppe...
Just 363 Days Until The Next NFL Draft!
Like most football fans, we watched the first round of the NFL Draft on Saturday. We were excited at the beginning, fooling ourselves into believing the recitation of names of people we don't know for four hours could be a scintillating experience, and watching Brady Quinn lose millions of dollars e...
Heat Don't Make Much Of A Fuss About Leaving
A byproduct of the supposedly middling, uninspiring champions of the last year — the Colts, the Cardinals, the Heat — is the collapse to level soil the next season. A team that overachieves in the postseason one year is likely to return to equilibrium the next. We'll see what happens with the Colts,...
Bruce Willis Likes Him Some Jersey Beer
We are sad to report to Action Movie Star Bruce Willis that just because the television station interviewing you is Canadian doesn't mean you can't start throwing out your handy R-rated movie catchphrases, no matter how blasted you are....
Ryan Howard To Fight Michael Strahan For Jared's Meat
If you caught the afternoon baseball game on Fox yesterday, you might've seen the new Subway commercial starring Jared and Phillies slugger Ryan Howard. I didn't see it, myself ... but since it doesn't yet exist on YouTube, I have to assume that means that it's way less gay than the giggling Michael...
The Miami Branch Of The Ted Ginn Jr. Fan Club Is Struggling
Sticking with the Brady Quinn theme for a second (I can't help it, he's just so damned handsome), that's a Dolphins fan reacting to the Fish not selecting Brady Quinn yesterday. It's nothing personal, of course, Tedy Ginn....
Checking In On Brady Quinn's Finances
If Brady Quinn hadn't already signed that endorsement deal with Hummer, the poor guy might not be able to afford one (I can't find YouTube of that commercial, but I've seen it on ESPN.com about 18 times this weekend ... if you're looking for reasons to hate Brady Quinn, I can't recommend it highly e...
Because We Love Him, Fine, We'll Do One More
With the 22nd pick of the NFL Draft, the Cleveland Browns select Brady Quinn, QB, Notre Dame. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....
Adam Carriker Is A Ram
With the 13th pick of the NFL Draft, the St. Louis Rams take Adam Carriker, DL, Nebraska. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it.Must ... resist ... urge to make ... bad puns. The Rams latest draft pick is quite a Carriker. The team was smart to select a first round pick with no Ca...
The Vikings Take Adrian Peterson, And On Time, Too!
With the 7th pick of the NFL Draft, the Minnesota Vikings select Adrian Peterson, RB, Oklahoma. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....
Gruden's Consolation Prize Is Gaines Adams
With the 4th overall pick, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers take Gaines Adams, DE, Clemson. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....
Painting The Inside Corner
• We don't trust anything that bleeds for eight innings and doesn't die. • Michael Jordan, enjoying himself. • Michael Vick loves all of God's creatures. Well, the ones that win, anyway. • Goodbye, David Halberstam. • Does LAT health insurance cover this? • Seriously, kid, walk it off. • Alex Rodrig...
Communism Was Merely A Red Herring
Monkey brains, although popular in Cantonese cuisine, is not often to be found in Washington D.C....
If You're Not Drafted Saturday, Friends, Don't Worry!
Before anyone gets too excited about the draft this Saturday, the Hall Of Fame Magazine cautions you to remember some of the great NFLers who were never even drafted. They include:...
Get The Cheerleaders ... Out Of My ... Brain ...
There's a certain sublime beauty in the notion that the FBI is investigating an anonymous letter writer to ESPN and ABC who was complaining, of all things, about cheerleaders....
What's Going On Over There With Colorado State?
Lots of Colorado State in the news today: Rams forward Xavier Kilby — awesome name, by the way; sounds like a villain from The Avengers — settled a dispute with a teammate by firing himself a weapon next to his head....
Nobody's Better At Losing Than The Phillies
Here's a factoid we didn't know: With just 33 more losses — a figure, at this rate, they'll reach by June — the Philadelphia Phillies will become the first professional sports franchise to reach the sainted total of 10,000 losses. Somehow, it seems fitting that the milestone will be reached by a Phi...
Harvey Keitel And Derek Jeter, Together At Last
So here's that new Gatorade commercial starring Derek Jeter, John Lackey and the shriveling, dying vessel that once contained Harvey Keitel. We applaud the somewhat innovative ad, but, frankly, we would have enjoyed it much more if, upon spotting Jeter, Keitel had recreated his character from Bad Li...