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You Can't Fight In Here! This Is The War Room!
Fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face. We can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily f...
So ... We've Got Some Affidavit Names
Everyone's guessing about who the blacked-out names in the Jason Grimsley report are, and it has been a fun parlor game so far. But we all knew eventually the names would get out. And we've been digging around ... and some sources have given us some names....
Strap In For The Grimsley Express
So we've been digging through this Jason Grimsley affidavit, and there's some pretty fun stuff. We understand the mindset behind what one commenter called "the missing white girl story of the week" aspect of this, but we kind of have a feeling this might stick. Some highlights:...
Jason Grimsley ... SCARFACE!
(One of these guys was on human growth hormone ... can you guess which one?)...
The Philles Will Crush Your Children
Here's something we missed from yesterday, via Philadelphia Will Do: It's Phillies catcher Mike Lieberthal attacking a little girl in the stands. Well, kind of. Poor kid: Guy didn't even apologize. Moral of the story: The seats at Dodger Stadium, they're way too close to the field, man....
A Tragic Weekend In Baseball
We sent our best thoughts and wishes to former umpire Eric Gregg and his family after his massive stroke yesterday at his home in suburban Philadelphia. Always one of our favorite umpires, he lost his job after the ill-fated umpire walkout of 1999. Like anyone else who went to a Phillies home game...
In The Oblique Wake ...
OK, we figure we're probably ready to talk about this now....
Exploring The Eating Habits Of Rafael Nadal
Rafael Nadal would like to respectfully disagree with Kirk Cameron. Bananas aren't so damn perfect after all. They might not squirt all over your face, but they can get stuck in your throat during the French Open and embarrass you more than the capri pants you insist on wearing....
Week In Deadspin: He Sees All
• Carl Monday, Freedom Fighter. • George Bodenheimer is a fool for romance. • Larry Hughes puts his clothes where his heart is. • How have we survived without Roger Clemens in our lives? • Your two-time NBA MVP. • Carson Palmer, cornholer. • We have World Cup fever, and we're not the least bit ash...
You Is Talking Loco ... And We Like It!
We hear words like "beauty" and "handsomness" and "incredibly chiseled features," and for us, that's like a vanity of self-absorption that we try to steer clear of....
Look, Up In The Sky ... It's Our Cleanup Hitter!
This photo, from yesterday's USA Today, features several Colorado Rockies players — including Matt Holliday, our official fantasy baseball find — looking up toward the heavens, saluting the real reason for their surprising play this year: God. (That seems like a good place to look, anyway.) No, se...
The Closer: The Curse Of Junipero Serra
Notes from a day in baseball:...
Say Goodnight, Detroit
We tend to agree with True Hoop: Something inside the Pistons looks broken. After the Heat's 11-point win over the Pistons last night, they're one game away from their first conference NBA finals ever and changing the face of the Pistons forever. (As True Hoop points out, are they really going to ...
Ironhead Heyward Passes Away
Craig "Ironhead" Heyward has passed away at the age of 39. He'd been battling a brain tumor for more than seven years, and it finally got the better of him. I think most people will remember him for four things, not necessarily in this order: 1) An outstanding college career at Pitt. 2) A non-quit...
Week In Deadspin: "Get Away From Me, Carl Monday!"
• So we probably don't need to say much more about our new friends Mike Cooper and Carl Monday. • If only people loved themselves as much as they love a horse. • ESPN anchors are now GQ models. History will not think of us well, people. • Careful of those trampolines, kiddo. • Pat Robertson is pac...
Your All-Time Best Mascot Winner
A while back, we put together a list of the wimpiest and most unusual nicknames and mascots in sports. But earlier today, a reader sent us the team that's pretty much the hands-down winner. The Rhode Island School Of Design NADS....
And To Think That In Some Countries These Dogs Are Eaten
Excuse us if this is off the subject a little bit ... but just take a guess at how much we can bench press. Come on, what do you think? Take a guess. 315 pounds, maxing out at 400! Ha!...
Hey, It Worked In The Warriors
Our affection for Cincinnati wide receiver Chad Johnson is well-documented, so we're obviously down right giddy to see that, in the offseason, Johnson has, inexplicably, decided to grow a mohawk....
Week In Deadspin: You're With Us, Neil
• Dirk Nowitzki loves David Hasselhoff. • Even with no mullet, we'll still miss Doug Flutie. • Neil Everett has balls of steel. You're with us, Neil! • Hey, look, it's the Atlanta Hawks mascot on a moped. • Ron Zook rocks your ass into next Tuesday. • College baseball's version of Sofia Coppola (t...