als Page 512 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Boom Goes A Young Man's Dignity
If you've ever wondered what happened to the people who star in those internet videos that make you laugh, the answer appears to be, well, nothing good. Brian Collins, he of "Boom Goes The Dynamite" fame, talks about his experience here....
Jerry Stackhouse And Common Sense Have Been Suspended
Jerry Stackhouse was found to be in violation of the NBA's strict "Do Not Touch Shaquille O'Neal" policy yesterday, as the league announced that it was suspending him for Game 5 of the NBA Finals. Stackhouse committed a hard foul on Shaq as the big man was driving for a lay-up. Have a look:...
And Here Come The Heat
As True Hoop pointed out this morning, this guy must feel like a complete idiot right now....
Hey, Remember These Guys?
Not to remain so firmly ensconced on the jock of Free Darko, but we're completely fascinated with their McSweeney's column today. Namely: Has anybody noticed that Antoine Walker and Jason Williams are playing in this series? Obviously, Dirk and Shaq and Wade and Cuban are the headliners of the ser...
Chris Henry Keeps Himself Busy
Getting arrested once during an offseason is a mistake. Getting arrested twice labels you a troublemaker. Three times, you're officially an epidemic. But when you're arrested for the fourth time in six months ... aw, now you're just showing off....
Spend Your Fourth With Us!
We apologize for our lingering tech problems today, but all should be resolved now. Sorry. We're going to try to make it up to you; we're gonna give you that long-awaited opportunity to punch us in the face....
We Have Not Forgotten About The NHL. Honest.
OK, you're right; we've been somewhat neglecting our hockey friends. It's just that it's really hard to get fired up about an NHL title in a city where ice had to be shipped in by train until 1941. (Yes, we know they were once the Hartford Whalers. And Elizabeth Taylor was once hot). But we promise ...
Did The Heat Really Make This A Series?
After staying up too late watching basketball, we woke up this morning ready to survey the NBA world's presumed newfound excitement over the NBA Finals, which showed some signs of life last evening. But that's not what we found....
Dwyane Wade: Kind Of Fun To Watch
This mighty pretty Getty Images photo, taken during one of Dwyane Wade's many free throws tonight, pretty much sums up everything we just saw: Everywhere we looked, there was Dwyane Wade, and there was Dwayne Wade only....
Is This It For Shaq, Wade And Riley?
Well, if you're not too busy waving David Hasselhoff masks like a maniac, you should certainly be intrigued by tonight's NBA Finals Game 3. The Heat obviously have to win, and the game is perhaps as important to Shaquille O'Neal's legacy as it is to Pat Riley and the rest of the Heat. Even Dwyane ...
Saying Goodbye To Rick Ankiel, Once Again
With all the activity in the world of our St. Louis Cardinals over the last week, one story slipped through the cracks a bit: Terminally tortured "prospect" Rick Ankiel, who is now 26 years old and can hardly be classified a prospect anymore, underwent surgery on his left knee and will miss the re...
Boy, The Heat Sure Look Done Already
As Free Darko pointed out, last night's Mavericks-Heat game was hardly one they'll be showing off on NBA TV in a week. The Mavericks dominated the whole way, and as little fun as it is to pronounce a series over before they even switch venues, it kind of looks like the Heat might be done....
Rileyball To Rear Its Ugly Head
Well, here we go. Pat Riley, shown above after being asked about the size of Shaquille O'Neal's penis, has made clear his intention to ugly up the NBA Finals. They're going to roll with a little more "Rileyball," which is, of course, another term for ugly basketball. For examples, see any of the ...
Mark Cuban's Courtside Blogging Madness
Last night's NBA Finals Game 1 Mavericks victory over the Heat was an impressive one, and a fun one to watch; we feel optimistic about the series as a whole. (Though a scary part inside us keeps whispering nasty matters about a sweep.)...
NBA Finals Pants Party: Mavericks Vs. Heat
We all used to complain that the NBA playoffs took too long to finish, that there were too many games, that it was just all too much. Now, the complaints are about having to wait too long for the Finals to start. Yeah, we'd call that progress....
All Right, Maybe It's Time To Panic
OK, we have clearly attempted to keep our wits about us during this whole Albert Pujols injury situation ... but we're officially out on the ledge now....
Careful Where You Buy Your Tickets
A helpful reminder for anyone thinking of buying some scalped tickets for Thursday's NBA Finals, from our friends at The Consumerist: Beware, buyers....
In The Oblique Wake ...
OK, we figure we're probably ready to talk about this now....
The Closer: The Cubs; Good For What Ails Ya
Notes from a day in baseball:...
If Jail Cells Were Endzones, Chris Henry Would Be Jerry Rice
ESPN's headline alone is enough to send me into bemused laughter: "Bengals' Henry arrested for third time since December". I don't know why, but that's funny to me. Henry was doing 82 mph in a 65 mph zone, and then blew a .092 on the breathalyzer. Ohio's legal limit is .08. No report on whether or...