ant Page 352 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Panthers Investigate Owner Jerry Richardson For "Allegations Of Workplace Misconduct"
Panthers owner Jerry Richardson is being investigated by his own team for allegations of workplace misconduct, as first reported by ESPN’s Jim Trotter. The team acknowledged the investigation in a statement minutes later....
Hawks Fan Uses Eccentric Form To Win $10,000 On Half-Court Shot
A fan sank a half-court shot during tonight’s Hawks-Pistons game by just heaving it with a technique vaguely reminiscent of what one might use to toss a shot put—and you know what, it worked out just fine, and he won $10,000 for it, so you can’t really make fun of him for it! Them’s the rules....
How Steven Seagal Became A Useful Puppet For Post-Soviet Dictators
On a crisp November morning in Moscow, Steven Seagal found himself within the walls of the Grand Kremlin Palace, seated across from Vladimir Putin, the most powerful man in the Russian Federation. Dressed in a blood-red kimono and black trousers—a throwback to his days as a martial artist—Seagal obs...
Giannis Had Two Dope Slams And Would've Had A Third If Not For John Henson<em></em><em></em>
Giannis Antetokounmpo produced some top-tier highlight clips despite a 115-108 loss to the Pelicans. Early in the night, he contorted himself on a drive and used his long arms to flush it....
Dipshit Saints Fan Sues Team Over Anthem Protests
A Saints fan named Lee Dragna, who appears to be a real dumbass, has filed a lawsuit against the team seeking a refund for his season tickets. He wants the refund because his ability to enjoy Saints games has been ruined by the NFL’s anthem protests....
And Now For Some Stupidly Bad Defense From Karl-Anthony Towns
Joel Embiid is talented and charming and big, a combination of qualities which can reasonably be quite daunting in anyone, but especially so in a basketball player. Karl-Anthony Towns’s strategy for handling all that during the second quarter tonight was just to panic-jump, arms outstretched, at a r...
Olympic Curling Qualifier Gets Hamstrung By Politeness, Finishes With Insane Danish Shot
One of curling’s unusual features, other than everything else, has been its politeness and sportsmanship. The first page of the official rulebook discusses The Spirit of Curling for a reason, as it points out that players should be the first to admit if they broke a rule. (Imagine if NBA or NHL play...
Giancarlo Stanton Acknowledges That The Marlins Are A Clown Show
Giancarlo Stanton was officially introduced as the newest member of the New York Yankees today, and he didn’t bother feigning any reverence for the team he spent the first eight years of his career with. Under normal circumstances, that might be seen as callous, or just poor form. But Stanton has ju...
Derek Jeter Won't Even Show His Face
Over the weekend, the Miami Marlins sent Giancarlo Stanton to the Yankees for a package of players that is honestly not even worth mentioning here. The transaction that took place was made in such profoundly bad faith that “trade” seems too kind a word to attach to it. This was nothing more than the...
The Indiana Pacers Are Extremely Fun
Quietly, the Indiana Pacers are one of the real powerhouse offensive teams in the NBA this season. It’s weird, right? Look at the NBA’s top eight in offensive rating, and you see some usual suspects: the Warriors, the Rockets, the Cavs, the Raptors, the Timberwolves, the Nuggets—all teams with star-...
Alan Trammell Wins Long Overdue Election To Hall Of Fame<em></em>
It took over 15 years of waiting, but Alan Trammell is finally in the Baseball Hall of Fame. With 13 out of 16 votes, the Modern Baseball Era committee chose the longtime Detroit Tigers shortstop to finally gain entrance to Cooperstown, after never getting more than 37% on the traditional writers’ b...
Kobe Bryant, Eagles Super Fan, Is Locked In
The Eagles play a very important game this afternoon against the Rams, and Kobe Bryant, Eagles fan, is here to awkwardly lead a solemn “Fly, Eagles, Fly!” chant, in an ill-fitting No. 8 Eagles jersey:...
Baker Mayfield Wins Heisman Trophy
To the surprise of no one, Oklahoma quarterback Baker Mayfield won the Heisman Trophy tonight in New York. He’s the first senior to win the award since Troy Smith in 2006....
Savor The Mental Image Of Kevin Durant Hiding From An Enraged Boogie
Warriors director of team operations Eric Housen has a big job, behind the scenes, keeping Golden State’s basketball operation running smoothly. Lots of good stuff about Housen’s role in this New York Times story, read it for yourself, yes, yes, BRING ME THE STORY OF KEVIN DURANT FLEEING DEMARCUS CO...
Reports: Giancarlo Stanton Will Be Traded To The Friggin' Yankees
Giancarlo Stanton, heretofore an easily likable dong-mashing baseball hero, will complete a dramatic heel turn and join the disgusting New York Yankees, according to multiple reports. ...
St. Louis Cardinals Release Statement Announcing That Giancarlo Stanton Has Owned Them<em></em>
Ken Rosenthal reported Thursday that baseball murderer Giancarlo Stanton will not waive his no-trade clause for the Giants or Cardinals. (The Astros and Cubs remain in the mix, albeit behind the Yankees and Dodgers.) Stanton’s refusal to go to St. Louis wasn’t a hypothetical one, according to the Ca...
Julio Jones Is Incredible, Even On Defense
Julio Jones is easily one of the best receivers in the NFL (I’d say the best but then someone would rightfully point out Antonio Brown exists and then we’d have a long fruitless debate about it), but in Thursday’s game, Jones found himself on the other side of the ball. After Saints cornerback Marsh...
The "Art Modell Law" Might Be Columbus's Best Shot At Keeping The Crew
The Columbus Crew’s season is over, but the fight over where they’ll play the 2019 season is becoming increasingly heated. Despite it being a horrendous breach of trust with the city of Columbus and an affront to MLS’ bizarre, artificially deflated business model, MLS czar Don Garber is apparently c...
Enjoy This Lovely Christmas Moment
Last weekend, Santa made a preseason appearance at the Tampa Bay Beach Bums Operation Santa Charity Volleyball Tournament to deliver a toy to a very lucky nine-year-old. He opted not to use a sleigh, instead skydiving into the beach but before that into a tree and a lightpole....
Sean Payton Claims He Doesn't Remember Shit-Talking Devonta Freeman
There was a weird moment during last night’s game between the Saints and Falcons, when Saints head coach Sean Payton did some premature gloating. With his team up 17-10 and 12:30 left to play, Payton gave the “Choke!” sign to Falcons running back Devonta Freeman after Freeman had run for no gain nea...