ant Page 671 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Slur-Filled Rant Saves America From Terrible Reality Show
UFC president Dana White's anti-"stupid bitch" rant may have cost him a reality show, probably because the producers were angry that he didn't save his best unhinged raging for their cameras. [Brooks]...

Time To Get Your Chicago Pants Party Tickets
The final deadline to purchase tickets for Deadspin's Chicago Pants Party on May 23 is next Friday. If you've been procrastinating, it's time to buy. Follow the link for details and tickets. [Pants Party Details]...

Women, Children Frightened By Giant Hamburger
The official unveiling of the West Michigan Whitecaps' immense 5,000-calorie Fifth Third Burger on Thursday stirred up a variety of emotions, but the following quote is by far my favorite:...

A Most Distressing Video: Joe Martinez Takes Line Drive Off The Head
This is not the kind of thing that people wanted to see in the wake of the tragic Nick Adenhart accident. That was one brutal line drive....

He Obviously Ate The Cheez Doodles First
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

San Francisco Giants Advertising Copy Written By Giggling 12-Year-Olds
The Giants marketing department will apparently just write anything down on a piece of paper and consider their jobs done. Please leave all "ball"-based puns to the professionals. [Big League Stew]...

OK You Pissants, Make Way For Randy Johnson
There's been little wailing and no gnashing of teeth in the Bay Area over Tim Lincecum's underwhelming '09 debut on Tuesday. That's because A. The Giants won, and B. Their headliner is actually starting tonight....

Your 2009 Deadspin Pants Party Pool Winner Takes The Floor
So here he is — the victor. It's John Guzowski AKA "Nard_Dogg 1," who came out on top due to his uncanny ability to click correct boxes....

The San Antonio Spurs Are Old And Broken
Manu Ginobili is out for the rest of the season with a stress fracture in his right ankle. Unfortunately, San Antonio's warranty has expired. [SA Express News]...

Johan Santana Has A Very Good Memory
Sorry to get all "Meet the Mets" on you today, but I noticed something bizarre during today's pregame that must be discussed—Johan Santana apparently has an individual handshake ritual for every player on his team....

This Week On A Very Special 'Friday Night Lights' ...
So you've quit the high school football team, and now you want to come back. OK, well, this being Texas, you'll need to drop your pants for a rather brutal paddlin'....

Finally ... Baseball Will Save Us All!
Thank goodness it's here. It's been a rough 2009 so far, but it is finally time for the baseball season to arrive and soothe our weary souls....

Giants Rid Themselves Of Plaxico Burress
Ralph Vacchiano of the Daily News calls this move "shocking" but that seems a little overboard. What else were the Giants supposed do with Plaxico Burress?...

If You've Eaten A Four-Pound Burger, Of Course You'll Need A Giant Plunger
Still grappling with the media frenzy over its monstrous 5,000-calorie burger, the West Michigan Whitecaps, masters of the metaphor, have installed a giant plunger in the outfield that squirts water on fans....

Giant Burger Of Doom Now Comes With A Side Of Controversy
West Michigan Whitecaps are refusing an advocacy group's demand that they put a warning label on their 4,800-calorie super-burger. [NBCSports]...

Pat Bowlen To Cutler: JUST GO AWAY, YOU STUPID BABY
Actually it was a bit more reasonable than that — but just as emphatic. So which team will snag Jay Cutler? [DenverPost]...

Jeff George Insists He Could Still Play For The Vikings; Vike's Writer Shows Him Reality
"My suggestion is he disconnect his phone... [h]e won't answer the next time a reporter calls to ask if he thinks he should still be playing. It's time for everyone to move on." [ESPN]...

Jose Tabata: Wife 'Completely Falsified Her Pregnancy'
The story of Jose Tabata and his 43-year-old wife is the gift that keeps on giving. Today's episode: She apparently told the 20-year-old outfielder that the baby she (allegedly) abducted was his....

Billy Donovan...Headed To Kentucky?
Gillispie is gone. Now rumors have the Florida head coach considering a jump to Kentucky. [Sparty And Friends]...