ap Page 1458 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
24 College Avenue "Mystery" Solved
Yesterday, we openly speculated who the heck that band "Autologic" that plays on Page 2's endless "serialized novel" 24 College Avenue. Another reason we love you, readers: You came through....
ESPN Can't Name That Band
We accidentally clicked on the newest installment of "24 College Avenue — the "serialized novel" by Page 2er Jim Caple that inspired by his weird tour of colleges last year — and we realized, fast, that we had forgotten to turn the sound down on our computer. Out of nowhere came this awful noise, ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while in the tub reenacting the battle of the Monitor and the Merrimack ... • MLB: Bonds hits 705th homer, is ordered to stitch actual asterisk to his uniform. • NFL: Brady's late-night carousing catches up to him in Patriots' loss to Panthers. • PGA: Some guy named Jason Gore wins s...
There Are Fake People On Page 2, And They're In College
Uh, we're just going to go under the assumption that Jim Caple's "serialized novel" 24 College Avenue is the setup to a joke, and the "three times a week throughout the school year" is the punchline. You know, the kind of inappropriate joke that a boorish friend tells too loudly at a dinner party...
Blogdome: Ripping Favre
• So, hey, now that we think about it ... Brett Favre was kind of a dick to Javon Walker. [Sports Frog] • Hot new hockey site launching later today, by tapped-in anonymous blogger. Hey, it's a growth industry; hockey can't get any less popular. [HockeyBuzz] • Ryan Howard is the Dontrelle Willis of h...
The 15-Minute Home Run Trot
Craziest play in the Red Sox-Blue Jays game last night. Red Sox outfielder Gabe Kapler — beloved by gays and Jews alike! — tore his Achilles rounding second base on Tony Graffanino's home run, and he couldn't move. Graffanino stopped behind Kapler and waited, and, surprisingly (to us), the umpires...
Leftovers: Kansas City People Are Weird
• Hunkalicious Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer author hangs out with some seriously weird Chiefs fans. [Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer] • The different species of asshole Little League coaches. [Flak] • Even the Bering Sea can't knock down Larry Csonka. [USA Today] • Getting their Irish up: Notre Dame ri...
Saints: America's Guilty Conscience Team
Like most of you who decided that NFL Sunday Ticket isn't quite valuable enough to make up for the utter uselessness of DirectTV, we spent yesterday at a sports bar, looking past the impromptu games of beer pong to watch hundreds of television screens full of football. And we saw what we're sure y...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while discovering the structure of the DNA molecule ... • NFL: Colts 24, Ravens 7. Once again, loser has to remain in Baltimore. • NFL: 49ers beat Rams, plan world domination and conquest of space. • MLB: Big Unit (that's Randy Johnson, sorry, those of you visiting us on a break from...
Advantage: Navratilova
Legitimate belly laughs from our pals at Onion-esque satirical site SportsPickle this morning: Martina Navratilova Toting Around a Battery-Powered Maria Sharapova Bobblehead Doll. Best part:...
Alberts Crosses Almighty ESPN, Pays Price
Hell hath no fury like a college football analyst scorned, apparently. ESPN college football analyst Trev Alberts was canned yesterday after refusing to come into work on Sunday, which, on Labor Day Weekend, is kind of a key day for college football analysts to work. Apparently Alberts was frustra...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while stuck firmly in the tire swing ... • MLB: Pedro tees 'em up, Phillies hit 'em out. Ah, that's the Mets we know. • A day after taking first batting practice, an exhausted Bonds takes a day off. • Marlins' Hermida peaks at 21; hits grand slam in first major league at-bat....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while writing a musical based on the movie "Fargo" ... • Puberty — nature's steroids. Hawaii wins Little League World Series. • Speaking of steroids: Giambi's 7 RBI lift Yankees. • Danica Patrick proves that women drivers are just as capable as men when it comes to ... wait, she just...
Larry Bowa, Civic Wonder
To combine reality and fantasy for a moment, ESPN analyst Larry Bowa has been named a Distinguished Little League Graduate award. In response, the ever-refined Larry Bowa responded through the great Yard Work:...
Shapiro's Depature Makes S.A.S. Sweat
Since the ratings for "Quite Frankly With Stephen A. Smith" — currently lighting it up with a 0.1 rating — have been so bad, and now that head overlord Mark Shapiro is leaving, people are wondering if Smith's show is still safe without Shapiro's protective cover. We're still confused about how Smi...
About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Watching The Office Ladies Attack The Copy Machine Repairman ... · Clemens Roughed Up In Loss. We tell you, that guy's too old to pitch. · Phils, Nats Split Huge Doubleheader. Sharing is good, you guys. Don't get greedy. · Bears, Benson Still Far Apart On Contract. The good new...
Shapiro Finally Sets ESPN And Viewers Free
It's official: ESPN overlord Mark Shapiro is leaving the network to run Redskins midget Daniel Snyder's bid to take over the Six Flags franchise. (His last day is October 1. Rest assured, you'll be hearing from him — and us — a ton.)...
About Last Night ...
What You Missed While "Reorganizing Your Sock Drawer," If you Know What We Mean (Which We Don't)... · Phillies tie for wild-card lead. Ryan Howard immediately organizes holdout. · Padres storm to under .500 division lead. The pennant will be a white flag. · Mourning Returns To Heat. Funny; we have a...
Maria Sharapova's Vanishing Nipples
Maria Sharapova has long been accused of being more popular for her body than for her tennis (as if the two were mutually exclusive). And now she's beginning to hear rumblings that the streams are being crossed even further. Sharapova announced yesterday that she's going to miss the Rogers Cup be...
All Told, Mark Shapiro Would Just Rather You Die
Speaking of ESPN head overlord Mark Shapiro, he had a pretty money quote to SI.com this week. Talking to "media critic" Richard Deitsch, Shapiro explained why the network might have been interested in a Mike Tyson reality show a couple of years ago, but isn't anymore....