ap Page 1460 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mets Fans Even Boo Their Rotten Apple
More surprising: the Mets hitting back-to-back home runs, or Citi Field's Home Run Apple engineered without that possibility in mind? The Apple finally emerged minutes after the second homer, giving the crowd something to cheer about, for once. [Star-Ledger]...
Yeah, But You Still Have To Live In Pennsylvania
Quaker staters, use your hand to shield your eyes from your three championship trophies, together for the first time. And take your other hand out of your pants. [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]...
The LPGA Continues To Ratchet Up The Crazy
The next time I'm hacking away on my local muni, I'm going to pretend like I'm snowboarding, because that's what Italian golfer Giulia Sergas does. Imaginary frostbite nipping at my windwhipped nose, I'll fit right in with the LPGA....
Have You Seen This Fat Guy?
The White Sox seemed to have lost something. It's about six feet high, 250 pounds (roughly), and occasionally has trouble locating its curveball. Oh, and it's scheduled to start tonighttomorrow so if you've seen a Bartolo Colon anywhere, please call....
Are The Pacers Too White ... Or Not White Enough?
In the time-honored tradition of raising a controversial proposition for the express purpose of shooting it down, Indy Star stalwart Bob Kravitz asks, "Why are the Indiana Pacers so lily white?"...
Ballhawks Ruining It For The Rest Of Us
You see them at every baseball game. The obsessive geeks who stake out batting practice and clamor over beautiful girls just to get random fly balls from third-string catchers. But now they're refining their tactics and upping their demands....
Lisa Leslie: Expect Bricks
The Superstars was only an hour this week! (Stupid Michael Jackson tributes.) But could they pack 90 minutes of excitement into just one tiny action-packed primetime block? Who likes missed lay-ups?...
Lance Armstrong Can't Not Be The Top Dog
Lance Armstrong said he just wanted to get some exercise and maybe promote his wristbands, because after four years off, expecting him to win the Tour de France would just be silly. What's that? He's in first place now? Lovely....
F—k Your Stupid Life Event: A Guide To Gift Giving
I hate buying gifts. I hate shopping for them, even online, which requires only that I click a mouse a few times, maybe fill out your address. NO TIME FOR THAT SHIT....
The Fate Of U.S.-Russia Relations Rests On Alexander Ovechkin's Stick
"As a resident of Washington, D.C., I continue to benefit from the contributions of Russians — specifically, from Alexander Ovechkin," said Barack Obama, who was criticized for not being a true puckhead. Don't get greedy, Capitals fans. [D.C. Sports Bog]...
Cristiano Ronaldo Stars In World's Largest Press Conference
Almost 80,000 people showed up at Real Madrid's stadium last night just to watch Cristiano Ronaldo try on a shirt. I'm starting to suspect that you don't love your favorite team enough....
Diagramming Sarah Palin's "Full-Court Press" Metaphor
Last Friday, Sarah Palin shrugged into her respectable Republican cloth coat and announced she was resigning from office. Along the way, she dropped a somewhat baffling basketball analogy, which we've helpfully diagrammed for you below, just as Palin described it....
In Season Debut, Candace Parker Produces Six Points, Several Fluid Ounces Of Breast Milk
Parker returned yesterday against the Mercury, and once again sportswriters found themselves talking about her boobs: "Just before the game, Parker had to pump breastmilk in the locker room for her daughter's post-game feeding." [LA Daily News]...
Oh, And The Mets Looked Great This Weekend
To be fair, Johan Santana did run up against Joe Blanton, a card-carrying furry. Even with this much-needed sweep, it still feels like the Marlins are going to backdoor the NL East when no one's looking.[Philly.com]...
And Now Let's Dive Into This Bizarre Steve McNair Situation
First it was a double homicide. Then it was murder-suicide. Now it's just tragic and sad. And TMZ has pictures of the doomed couple parasailing....
Hedo Turkoglu Spurns Trail Blazers for Raptors
ESPN is reporting that Toronto is giving him five years and $53 million. In addition, he won't have those pesky playoffs ruining his summers....
Blame It On Boras
Everything bad that has ever happened to the Dodgers is the fault of evil, evil Scott Boras, up to and including that home run he hit off Ralph Branca in 1951. [NYT]...
Terrell Owens and Joanna Krupa Rise From The Dead
ABC made a mistake when they somehow let the onlymost marketable face on their game show get booted off in the first week. Well, thanks to the magic of television that's all a distant memory!...
Darren Daulton Wants To Makes It Clear That He Has Done A Lot Drugs
Everyone knows Darren Daulton was not a saint and he maybe indulged in some personal excess during his 14 major league seasons, but he just wants assure everyone of the real truth—the man was absolutely full of drugs....
Tim Lincecum's Haircut Is Now Self-Aware
Randy Johnson has had a tremendous impact on the San Francisco Giants' pitching staff, but not because of his experience and wisdom. It's because he has youngsters like Tim Lincecum believing in the power of the mullet....