ap Page 1470 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Should Lane Kiffin Be Recruiting Convicted Rapists?
So far, Lane Kiffin's numerous recruiting shenanigans have been adorably goofy and pointless, but his latest controversy is so serious and meaningful and worthy of mindful debate that I kind of prefer the other kind....

Catch A Ride On The Greinke Train
Look, we're all friends here. You've got certain feelings inside you and you're not sure how to deal with them, but it's okay to talk about it—you kinda want to hump Zack Greinke, don't you?...

Alex and Sid's Dueling Hat Tricks
The NHL got what it wanted—a Crosby/Ovechkin playoff showdown—and the first two games have lived up to the billing. If only they can find a way to make it last longer than two more games....

What About His Face? Did Something Happen To Rick Ankiel's Face?
The Rickster was hospitalized after crashing face first into the center field wall last night. Doctors say he might not have been hurt at all if only he had kept the mustache. [Missourinet]...

Warm Your Butt In The Dice-K Memorial Bathrooms
The Boston Red Sox paid the Seibu Lions $51.1 million for the right to take Daisuke Matsuzaka off their hands. So what did they do with the money? New toilet seats for everyone!...

And The Mets/Phillies Weekend Yields Predictable Results
Come on, Philly people. Don't throw fucking bottles. [The700Level]...

Not All Seven Game Series Are Equal
There were two seven-game series in the first round of the the NBA Playoffs. One was the greatest series in the history of sport. The other was not....

One Cowboys' Scouting Assistant Paralyzed Due To Practice Facility Collapse
Two other staffers also required surgery to mend their broken body parts. Jerry Jones was reported to be "somber" after hearing the news. [AP/LA Times]...

Ow, My Balls!
Maybe I'm still a little irked with Boston after last night's Celtics win, but I think a picture of Dustin Pedroia getting pegged in the nuts would bring a smile to my face any day....

Saints Players Just Want To Hang Out With Their Wangs Out
New Orleans is certainly a wild and wacky place, but that doesn't mean you can go around waving your junk at women in public willy-nilly, even if you're a member of the New Orleans Saints....

Noah Declared 'Undead', Cleared to Play Tonight
The best first round series anyone can remember concludes tonight as Chicago travels to Boston for Game 7. Contrary to some earlier speculation, "Garquatch" will not be suiting up....

The Dolphins Will Play In Landshark Stadium
In an effort to turn Dolphin Stadium into the world's largest Margaritaville. Although it's not expected to draw nearly as many people as the bar's other locations. [Miami Herald]...

Pens Fans Attempt to Distract Capitals With Funny Faces
The Penguins have evened the score with the Capitals at 2-2 in after two periods of play in Washington. In other news, this Pittsburgh fan seems to be quite taken with Washington's coach Bruce Boudreau....

And The Fun Starts Tonight
Mets fans, welcome back to Citizens Bank Park. Tonight is the first game of our meaningless little rivalry that seems to bring out the free-swingers in all of us. First up, El Gonzo, from Philly.com...

An Ill-Informed Betting Guide To The Kentucky Derby
It's that time of year—the five-week period when people who could not care less about horse racing the other 47 weeks of the year suddenly become experts in animal husbandry, gambling and stupid hats....

Ron Artest Fondly Remembers That Terrible, Hilarious Night At The Palace
Ron Artest had a nice moment last night when he went into the stands after a loose ball. It was just like the last time he went into the crowd, only not as hysterically funny....

Samuel Dalembert Loves, Loses
The Sixers were getting pounded by a Dwight Howard-less Magic team last night when Samuel Dalembert decided that an out-of-reach game would be a good time to get more intimate with Hedo Turkoglu....

Boston And Chicago Must Really Love Each Other
How else do you explain why the Bulls and Celtics have played seven overtime periods in just six games? These guys really just enjoy playing basketball together—and making each other bleed....

Hawks Radio Announcers Might Be Biased Against Dwayne Wade
Things got a little chippy during Atlanta's 106-91 mugging of Miami, but that seemed okay with the Hawks radio crews—as long as "the great Dwayne Wade" was on the receiving end of the rough stuff....

Red Sox'Owner John Henry Lets Boston Magazine Print His Lovelorn Emails To His Young Bride
Say what you will about Red Sox owner John Henry, he's a man who knows how to get what he wants. Fortune, fame, the Sox, Dice-K, and a woman 30 years younger than him....