ap Page 1471 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Saying Goodbye To ESPN's Mark Shapiro
After a reign that changed the culture of the world's largest sports entertainment network, ESPN executive vice president Mark Shapiro has now left the network to work for Redskins owner Daniel Snyder with his new venture with Six Flags. Ignoring all "Quite Frankly With Yosemite Same" jokes for a ...

Bad Time To Think Of Peyton
Just an update on our Peyton Manning/Kenny Chesney/Brokeback Mountain item from yesterday: We were doing some searching, and we found this pretty damning story from Chesney, via Anecdotage:...

Blogdome: Bill Simmons Edition
• Sports blogger goes after Bill and Chuck for trashing sports bloggers. [The Mighty MJD] • In full book promotion mode, Bill shows up on blogger radio show and actually predicts the Yankees to win. [Mr. Irrelevant] • The Phillies might be pretty much done in the playoff chase, but hey, look, they'r...

Peyton Manning Going All Brokeback Mountain On Us?
OK, now this be should be filed under "Complete Random Rumor From Gossip Newsletter That Knows Nothing About American Sports," but the pure notion of it is so hysterical that we can't help but bring it to your attention....

Yeah, Red Smith Totally Used To Eat Weird Crap
OK, so we were just watching the rerun of this morning's episode of ESPN2's "Cold Pizza" — we can only watch the same "SportsCenter" so many times before our soul starts to collapse into powder — and we saw Hometown Columnist Woody Paige eat a whole canister of dog food....

Michigan Courts Make Society Safe Again
We know it's amazing that sports have been able to continue in the 10 months since the Pistons-Pacers brawl at The Palace in Detroit, but somehow, someway, athletic endeavors have been able to stagger on. In another example of the brutal ramifications of the actions of everyone involved, the three...

24 College Avenue "Mystery" Solved
Yesterday, we openly speculated who the heck that band "Autologic" that plays on Page 2's endless "serialized novel" 24 College Avenue. Another reason we love you, readers: You came through....

ESPN Can't Name That Band
We accidentally clicked on the newest installment of "24 College Avenue — the "serialized novel" by Page 2er Jim Caple that inspired by his weird tour of colleges last year — and we realized, fast, that we had forgotten to turn the sound down on our computer. Out of nowhere came this awful noise, ...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while in the tub reenacting the battle of the Monitor and the Merrimack ... • MLB: Bonds hits 705th homer, is ordered to stitch actual asterisk to his uniform. • NFL: Brady's late-night carousing catches up to him in Patriots' loss to Panthers. • PGA: Some guy named Jason Gore wins s...

There Are Fake People On Page 2, And They're In College
Uh, we're just going to go under the assumption that Jim Caple's "serialized novel" 24 College Avenue is the setup to a joke, and the "three times a week throughout the school year" is the punchline. You know, the kind of inappropriate joke that a boorish friend tells too loudly at a dinner party...

Blogdome: Ripping Favre
• So, hey, now that we think about it ... Brett Favre was kind of a dick to Javon Walker. [Sports Frog] • Hot new hockey site launching later today, by tapped-in anonymous blogger. Hey, it's a growth industry; hockey can't get any less popular. [HockeyBuzz] • Ryan Howard is the Dontrelle Willis of h...

The 15-Minute Home Run Trot
Craziest play in the Red Sox-Blue Jays game last night. Red Sox outfielder Gabe Kapler — beloved by gays and Jews alike! — tore his Achilles rounding second base on Tony Graffanino's home run, and he couldn't move. Graffanino stopped behind Kapler and waited, and, surprisingly (to us), the umpires...

Leftovers: Kansas City People Are Weird
• Hunkalicious Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer author hangs out with some seriously weird Chiefs fans. [Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer] • The different species of asshole Little League coaches. [Flak] • Even the Bering Sea can't knock down Larry Csonka. [USA Today] • Getting their Irish up: Notre Dame ri...

Saints: America's Guilty Conscience Team
Like most of you who decided that NFL Sunday Ticket isn't quite valuable enough to make up for the utter uselessness of DirectTV, we spent yesterday at a sports bar, looking past the impromptu games of beer pong to watch hundreds of television screens full of football. And we saw what we're sure y...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while discovering the structure of the DNA molecule ... • NFL: Colts 24, Ravens 7. Once again, loser has to remain in Baltimore. • NFL: 49ers beat Rams, plan world domination and conquest of space. • MLB: Big Unit (that's Randy Johnson, sorry, those of you visiting us on a break from...

Advantage: Navratilova
Legitimate belly laughs from our pals at Onion-esque satirical site SportsPickle this morning: Martina Navratilova Toting Around a Battery-Powered Maria Sharapova Bobblehead Doll. Best part:...

Alberts Crosses Almighty ESPN, Pays Price
Hell hath no fury like a college football analyst scorned, apparently. ESPN college football analyst Trev Alberts was canned yesterday after refusing to come into work on Sunday, which, on Labor Day Weekend, is kind of a key day for college football analysts to work. Apparently Alberts was frustra...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while stuck firmly in the tire swing ... • MLB: Pedro tees 'em up, Phillies hit 'em out. Ah, that's the Mets we know. • A day after taking first batting practice, an exhausted Bonds takes a day off. • Marlins' Hermida peaks at 21; hits grand slam in first major league at-bat....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while writing a musical based on the movie "Fargo" ... • Puberty — nature's steroids. Hawaii wins Little League World Series. • Speaking of steroids: Giambi's 7 RBI lift Yankees. • Danica Patrick proves that women drivers are just as capable as men when it comes to ... wait, she just...

Larry Bowa, Civic Wonder
To combine reality and fantasy for a moment, ESPN analyst Larry Bowa has been named a Distinguished Little League Graduate award. In response, the ever-refined Larry Bowa responded through the great Yard Work:...