ap Page 1477 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Todd Tichenor Got His Money's Worth Last Night
Umpire Todd Tichenor made history (maybe? probably not) when he ejected four people in one inning of the Red Sox-Twins game last night. Hey, when you're a temporarily fill-in just called up from the minors, you've got to take your shots when you can get them....

Kobe Bryant's Greatness Lacks Airness
"...Jordan broke his challengers, convincing every player in the NBA that no one else had what it takes ...Kobe Bryant, too, tests his opponents' will-but sometimes they pass the test. The real lesson of the Olympics: "Pick up a few pointers from Kobe, and maybe you can take him." [Slate]...

Don't Let The Sun Go Down On The Bird People
Denver may or may not succeed in keeping Kobe Bryant from his eternal destiny, but at least they are making things interesting. The series heads back to Los Angeles tied at 2, but anything that keeps goofballs like Chris Andersen in the "spotlight" a little longer is okay by me....

'Whole Lot Of People Puckered Up' After Florida Steroid Bust, Says Comical Backwoods Sheriff
What happens when you mix steroid hysteria with two self-aggrandizing backwoods halfwits on either side of the law? This: "What investigators aren't sure of is whether Richard Thomas, 35, is telling the truth when he said ... he sold mostly to professional athletes," specifically those on the Capita...

A Game Of “Healthy Fat Or Unhealthy Fat” With Martellus Bennett
Our Deadcast guest this week is none other than Martellus Bennett: tight end for the Dallas Cowboys, expert blogger and renowned Twitter fiend....

Sidney Crosby Taunts The Hockey Gods
The Penguins polished off a nice cold pitcher of Hurricanes last night, earning a return trip to the Stanley Cup Finals and a chance at redemption. Then captain Sidney Crosby just thumbed his nose at all that by skating around the ice with the Prince of Wales Trophy....

Uh Oh, Cleveland
No one is saying the city of Cleveland should be panicking right now, but it does seem like hoarding canned goods and putting your life savings into mason jars would not be the worst idea in the world. All is ... not well....

Scary Old She-Male In Plastic Gold Jacket Haunts The Sidelines (UPDATE)
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

The Cavaliers Have A Couple Of Things On Their Mind
LeBron James is doing everything he possibly can to keep the Cavs in it and to stave off the possible Posnanski Curse that is now creeping up on the NBA's "best" team. Can Mike Brown save the Cavaliers from boobdom?...

Sonia Sotomayor: Not A Squishy, Wild-Eyed Commie, After All
"Some say," Barack Obama offered this morning, by way of introducing his Supreme Court nominee, "Judge Sotomayor saved baseball." True, at least to the extent that Sonia Sotomayor saved baseball from itself. What Obama didn't say: Sotomayor totally screwed over Maurice Clarett....

Who Wants To Watch Jose Canseco Get Beat Up?
What a shocker: Jose Canseco was TKO'd 1:17 into the first round of his MMA "fight" against Korean giant Hong Man Choi. Canseco is officially bad at everything except identifying steroid users. [Full fight @ DailyMotion; CageWriter; But The Game Is On]...

NHL/NBA Open Threads
Let's try something new this time: Hockey fans, basketball fans, unite! Try to co-exist peacefully. Wings-Hawks right now, Magic-Cavs tonight. [ESPN]...

Carmelo Isn't Interested In Your High-Fives
Call this a hunch, but it seems Carmelo Anthony wasn't too happy after the Lakers' 103-97 win over the Nuggets in Game 3 last night in Denver. Something about losing the fourth quarter by 14 points and fouling out on (another!) lazy inbounds pass....

...And Your NBA Open Thread
Andrew Bynum isn't happy with his playing time, but he's only going to talk with Phil Jackson about his "feelings" if he's approached. Let's give Bynum a break — he's still young, right? Lakers, Nuggets, 8:30 p.m. in Denver. [LA Times]...

Wanted: Poise, Splits, Knowledge Of Middle East Geography
To be a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader, you need exquisite dance technique, plenty of enthusiasm and poise, a vibrant personality and the ability to do high kicks and splits. Also, you should "look well-proportioned in dancewear." And you have to identify a country on Iraq's borders....

"Wouldn't It Be Amazing If LeBron Saved Our Season?"
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Little Girl Lost In A Cup Of Beer At The Lakers Game
We're winding down...so prepare for more crap like this at the end of the day. [SteadyBurn]...

La La Vazquez Says Dallas Fans Have Racist Family Values
So the Dallas-Denver brouhaha is not going away. La La Vazquez is still talking about her long night in Big D, only the language is getting much more colorful. She says fans were throwing around words like "bastard" and "fuck" and that one that even I won't spell without asterisks....

Raiders Come To Terms With Fast, Toolsy Budget Airliner
The Raiders are teaming up with "low-budget, long-haul" Air Asia X and sticking their logo on the tailfin of an aircraft, now dubbed the "Commitment To Excellence" plane. A sad metaphor waiting to happen. [Examiner]...
