ap Page 1489 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Wacky Dutchmen Upset Dominican Republic
The Netherlands gets three off Edinson Volquez in the first and make it hold up (Sidney Ponson!) to upset the D.R. juggernaut in the WBC. Naturally, I blame A Rod. [ESPN; Canada/US liveblog here]...
Celtics To Cavs: "Shut Up ... LOL!"
Boston beats Cleveland to move into a virtual first-place tie and give the internet yet another excuse to rethink that "let's have an open dialogue" thing. [Yahoo]...
You Win, Terrorists: Wisconsin Cracks Down On Unsportsmanlike Cheering
So at Ashland High basketball games this season, you can't even use the old "Fundamentals!" cheer when that opposing player gets called for traveling. Because that would be unsportsmanlike and wrong....
The New York Rangers Welcome Back Sean Avery After Lobotomy
"It felt good to be playing for this team again and getting the win. That's what I came here to do." [AP]...
World Baseball Classic Will Only Happen In Your Dreams
The World Baseball Classic has begun! Too bad you were asleep and missed the whole thing. [MLB.com]...
Alex Rodriguez Needs Surgery, Out Until May
This hits just keep on coming—Doctors say that Alex Rodriguez will need surgery on his bum hip and will miss at least six weeks of the regular season, according to SportsCenter. [ESPNdeportes; translated from Spanish]...
Hockey Games Bring Out The Drunk Muppets
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Entire State Of Maryland Roped Into Online Prank War
Remember the Yankee Stadium proposal prank where one goofball used a fake marriage proposal to humiliate his goofball friend? Well, 18 months later, revenge is a dish best served at a Maryland basketball game....
Time Running Out For Missing Boaters (Update)
The search continues today for three football players who were still lost at sea, even as family members realize there is not much hope of finding them alive....
LeBron James Saved From Dwyane Wade's Band-Aid Menace
Dwyane Wade was having a lot of fun putting those decorative Band-Aids on his face and NBA fans were starting to take notice. So naturally the league had to put a stop to that....
Usain Bolt To Asafa Powell: "Fix My Car"
Asafa Powell lost the "World's Fastest Man" title to Usain Bolt, then spent the winter fixing up Bolt's Honda Accord. Is that sadder than the fact that the "World's Fastest Man" drives an Accord? [Australian]...
How Much Do You Care About Northern Iowa Baseball?
As you may have heard, Northern Iowa's baseball program is on the chopping block (likely because of your bad mortgage), but the internet is making a ninth-inning rally to try and save it....
Paraplegic Hockey Fights Are Just As Good As Any Other Kind
Sled hockey is just like regular hockey—same rules, same helmets, same slapshots—only tougher. It's hard enough to fight someone on skates; try maneuvering for a rabbit punch on that little sled....
Shaq Wins This Round Against Kobe
Kobe Bryant puts up 49, but Lakers still lose to Steve Nash-less Suns. Shaquille O'Neal scores 33 for Phoenix to keeps the playoff chase interesting. (Celtics lost too.) [Yahoo]...
Intolerable Cruelty: Our Women Ruminate On The Art Of The Prank
It's time for Waxing Off, the Deadspin feature that will go topless if you throw it beads. This Friday's topic: Sports pranks....
Albert Haynesworth Becomes Highest Paid Face-Stomper In History
The Redskins, still spending like it's 2002, have inked the Titans' menacing defensive tackle to a 7-year, $100 million deal. [Redskins Insider]...
The Glory That Was Operation Scheyerface
Yes, Duke beat Maryland in a key ACC men's basketball matchup on Wednesday, but sometimes the most important victories are not won on the court, but in the stands. Behold: Operation Scheyerface, v2.0....
Dreamboat Captain Takes The Reins, Marries Gisele
Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen are officially a couple in the eyes of God. According to US Magazine,Brady and Bundchen wed last night in front of family, friends, and a furious Bridget Moynahan....
Tiger Goes Down
Woods loses in the second-round of the Match Play Championship to Tim Clark, ending his glorious comeback tour. I don't know what to believe anymore. [ESPN]...
The Real Reason For Jeff Reed's Towel Tantrum
I know the idea of Jeff Reed, drunk in a gas station bathroom at 3:00 a.m. sounds improbable, but there was actually a very good reason for it. He was paid to do it!...