ap Page 1490 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Duke Survives Prank Call Barrage, Beats Maryland Anyway
Despite a long sleepless night of running refrigerator jokes, Duke somehow managed to get some rest in during their 18-hour wait for tipoff and were able to outlast Maryland....

Revisiting Jeff Reed's Paper Towel Freakout: An Investigative Report
You're probably thinking to yourself, "Hey, did they ever fix the towel dispenser that Jeff Reed broke?" That or you were thinking of pie. Quite often it's pie....

Selena Roberts May Have A Couple Of Curves For A-Rod, Readers
Attention Oprah's Book Club readers: The publishing date of Selena Roberts' tell-all tome on Alex Rodriguez has been moved up to late April. And it may pack more of a punch than previously thought....

Maryland Would Like To Know If Duke Has Prince Albert In A Can
Jokesters on a Maryland message board posted the phone number of the hotel that Duke's hoops team was staying in last night and the results were a sad indictment of the current state of college pranks....

Scott Eyre Would Like To Borrow $20 Til Payday
This isn't funny, actually. Phillies reliever Scott Eyre, who signed a $2 million contract during the offseason, says he's down to his last 13 bucks. Don't hock the ring! [Big League Stew]...

The Washington Capitals Do It For The Ladies
Hey, Girls! Do you and the gals love to gab about hockey at your slumber parties? Because the Capitals would love to see a few extra broads in the seats at their next home game....

Mickey Mantle Was A Lovable, Profane Scamp When It Came To Autographs
There's something both amusing and sad about this autographed Mickey Mantle baseball, which is now being sold at a collector's auction....

Bunning Apologizes To Ginsburg, Kind Of
Well, that didn't take long. Kentucky senator and former Phillie Jim Bunning apologized for practically wishing Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg into the cornfield recently. But on closer inspection, what's wrong with his apology?...

Andre Smith's Hobbies Include Setting Large Piles Of Money On Fire
The puzzling story of Andre Smith, the University of Alabama's ready-made NFL lineman, continues to frustrate and infuriate NFL Combine geeks who are incensed at Smith's inability to play nicely....

Jim Bunning, Still Several Kinds Of Nuts
Jim Bunning, part of one of the most dramatic collapses in baseball history, seems to be watching his political career crumble around him as well. Let's get right to the highlights....

Shocking Development In The SI/Danica Tattoo Controversy
The intrepid Brooks of SPORTSbyBROOKS has Telexed us with an urgent communique regarding Danica Patrick's now-infamous checkered flag/Old Glory tattoo (these colors will eventually run as age takes its toll on Danica)....

Brother, Can You Spare A Dime...For Johnny Damon Or Xavier Nady?
So, you hear about that Stanford guy (no, not that one) who stole all the money that Bernie Madoff missed? Well, Johnny Damon and Xavier Nady's assets have been frozen while the Feds investigate....

So TV Writers Do Have A Sense of Humor
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Sports Illustrated Finally Explains Wanton Danica Tattoo Removal
In a shining example of investigative journalism, CNBC's Darren Rovell attached himself, chimplike, to Sports Illustrated's haunches until the magazine finally explained why they Photoshopped away Danica Patrick's SI swimsuit issue ass tattoo....

Ryan Howard Feels Chase Utley's Pain
Why does Ryan's batting average go down whenever Chaz gets hit by a pitch? Hang in there, little buddy! [Freakonomics, photo via]...

The Marvin Harrison Era May Be Over In Indy
Marvin Harrison has played 13 seasons in the NFL, all with the Indianapolis Colts, and nearly all with Peyton Manning throwing the ball to him—but if reports are true, that's all over with now....

Tyson Chandler Is Damaged Goods
Oklahoma City pulls out of their trade with New Orleans after Chandler fails his physical. But he always seemed like such a nice boy. (FYI, the NBA trade deadine is 3 p.m. today.) [Oklahoman]...

Sports Illustrated Admits De-Tramping Danica, But She's Okay With That
SI wouldn't say why they wouldn't let the lower back American Flag tattoo in this year's issue, even though it made last year's. [CNBC]...

The Real Frauds: Why Did A-Rod's Teammates Even Bother To Show Up?
SI writer Jeff Pearlman offers his thoughts about the A-Rod press conference. Specifically, why are his teammates still supporting him?...

Jamie Moyer Is Sad About These Kids And Their Steroids
Spring Training is here (huzzah!), but all people want to talk about is steroids. Anyone wearing a baseball hat will be asked about it, but no opinion carries more weight than Jamie Moyer's....