ap Page 1497 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
That's What The Zamboni Is For, I Guess
The old expression "I'll tear off your head and shit down your neck" is alive and well in the NHL, or at least with the Boston Globe web site, where unfortunate typos make the readin' fun!...
Lendale White Suggests Panther Swipe
"If they want a nickname, I can nickname them: 'Identity and Theft,'" said White, who's successfully paired with the speedy rookie Chris Johnson this season. "...I was upset because I made that phrase up myself. I mean I made it up. I don't know about NFL Network and all those other guys. I heard so...
This Is Why Conlin Rules
Even if he hates the pamphleteers: "If the printed page dies, there is no denying that the fatal wounds have been self-inflicted. There was an elitist smugness even in the press boxes of the 1960s, when Howard Cosell was just a radio nobody hustling for interviews in clubhouses filled with sports wr...
NHL Referee Needs Mouth Washed Out With Pucks
The Buffalo Sabres beat Pittsburgh on Monday, but with no thanks to the boys in zebra stripes. The Sabres were on the short end of three different 5-on-3 situations and even got a bench minor for "abuse of officials." Although to hear Sabres goalie Ryan Miller tell it, the officials are the ones who...
Antonio Bryant's Left Hand Can Snatch Eagles From The Sky
The Deadspin Morning Video Wake Up Call will return for a brief period of time through the holidays. If you have any suggested videos to fill this space, email us. Subject: Morning Video Wake Up Call....
Hey Steve, Have This Souvenir Cup!
The fans in Carolina are so polite. After sitting through an exciting Monday Night Football game and then being forced to do a lengthy SportsCenter wrap up, Steve Young was clearly too busy to run to the concession stand and get a tasty soda. So some helpful Panther backer decided to gently toss his...
Jeff Garcia Awaits Your Scrutiny In The Comments
I've been a fan of Jeff Garcia since his little 2006 playoff run with the Eagles and will continue to be one until he finally, mercifully retires. He's not the flashiest guy, wasn't blessed with a big arm, and is particularly unimposing when he's photographed in black and white with freckle-splashed...
The Titans Won, And There Was Much Rejoicing
In the most inevitable—yet still shocking—development of the weekend, the Tennessee Titans have wrapped up the AFC South. It's not so socking that they managed to end up on top of their division, but what is surprising is the way they did it. Their opening day quarterback had a complete meltdown in ...
Derrick Rose Injured In Freak Apple Peeling Incident
Derrick Rose's NBA career is off to a phenomenal start. The number one overall pick is averaging 18 points and six assists so far in his rookie year, he's already become the leader of his Chicago Bulls squad, and his highlight reel moves are electrifying crowds across the land. It seems the only thi...
Visanthe Shiancoe Becomes A Big, Bright, Shining Star
For the second Sunday this season I received a text message regarding an unlucky football player's unleashed member. Granted, KOGOD's "Locker room cock pic. Any thoughts?" message was less frantic than poor Tanner Cooley's after his brother's unfortunate slip-out, but it was still memorable in the s...
Kevin McHale To Take A More Active Role In The Failure Of The Timberwolves
The Minnesota Timberwolves are 4-15, which is not the worst record in their division, but it's far from the best. Obviously, Vice President of Basketball Operations Kevin McHale will not tolerate such underachievement, so he has rightly fired head coach Randy Wittman and replaced him with the only m...
Pacman Destroys A Listless De La Hoya
Manny Pacquiao completely dismantled Oscar de la Hoya from the opening bell until the match was halted after eight rounds of boxing in Las Vegas. There really isn't a whole lot to say, because Oscar simply did not show up for this fight. Pacman, the undisputed pound-for-pound champion of the world,...
Two Filthy Rich Men Are About to Beat the Hell Out of Each Other
Tonight marks the biggest night of the year for the sport of boxing, although the welterweight matchup between Oscar de la Hoya and Manny Pacquiao is nothing more than a curious exhibition with tens of millions of dollars on the table. De la Hoya, who at this point in his career is more of an execut...
How The Gruden Stole Christmas
So are we pretty much agreed that the Big Three in Christmas specials are The Grinch, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and A Charlie Brown Christmas? (Apologies to Will Leitch). Well, one of these will not be seen in the Tampa Bay area as scheduled on Monday, as ABC is pre-empting A Charlie Brown Chri...
Jamboroo, Week 14. Featuring Enhanced TV Graphics, The Hollywood Knights, Anthrax, And The TPIR Mountain Climber
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, is available in stores and online here, and makes a lovely Christmas gift for the chronic masturbator in your life. You ...
Sean Avery Apologizes For Trying to Make the NHL Interesting
Sean Avery's getting a lot of crap (and a four game suspension) for his "sloppy seconds" interview, but he's finally caved in and issued a formal apology for his comments. Dallas Observer blog "Unfair Park" got it up early last night:...
NFL Suspends Six Players Under Cover Of Night
So while the rest of the sports world was preoccupied last night with sweatpants and second helpings and trading contracts (and also some things are not related to Charlie Weis) the NFL decided to hide another little nugget of fun in the 6:00 p.m. news dump. Six players—including half of the Minneso...
Plaxico Burress Suspended For The Rest Of The Season
The New York Giants waited until the very end of the day to announce that Plaxico Burress will in fact be placed on the "non-football injury list." This is effectively a suspension that removes him from the Giants roster for the remainder of the regular season and the playoffs, and (unlike injured r...
Newspapers Are Revelant And Helpful, Particularly If You Like Ike
On Thanksgiving morning, I picked up a copy of the Columbus (Ga.) Ledger-Enquirer, the daily paper round those parts. I did it out of habit; I was eating an English muffin and needed something to do with my other hand. Whatever your thoughts about the newspaper industry, I think we can all agree tha...
Sad Stalking Case Of Former Badger Provides Excuse To Run Maria Sharapova Photo
By now you may have heard of former Wisconsin defensive back Leonard Taylor Jr., who was charged on Monday with one felony stalking count and one count of misdemeanor telephone harassment for threatening Wisconsin athletic director Barry Alvarez and tennis star Maria Sharapova. This is a sad story f...